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Thread: Help Me. I Am Confused.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Please help me. I am confused because I think I am in bad shape, yet in good shape. According to my most recent e-mail topics, I need to lose weight, a lot of it. My wrinkles are so bad, I have a discount offer for new medication. My baldness needs attention too. My debt is piling up, but the good news is, that I can refinance my mortgage. My car is in need of being replaced, someone was so kind to offer me a car at the lowest rates possible. My health care apparently isn't up to par, so I guess I can buy some discount cigarettes and listen to my free Cd's. My love life is down, everyone keeps hinting that I need to "spice it up". Too bad, I missed my opportunity to buy some VIAGRA at discount prices, even then, my knob is too small to begin with. I need legal aid for divorce. I should claim some FREE cash and get help now. I am pale and need a tan. Evident ally my current cell phone is not good enough, they tell me I can get a free one. I never have to buy ink again, for my printer and somebody is looking forward to hire me. I guess I need a discount vacation and more rest.

    In reality, I am happily married with children. I have ZERO debt. I am good looking with no wrinkles. I am in perfect health. I have 3 cars paid for. I live in an apartment so I need no mortgage. I have enough cash to buy a house without payments. All credit cards that have are ZERO balance. I use ink refill kits. I have all of the CD'S I want. I have no need for VIAGRA (probably need something for the opposite). I have more hair than my barber has ever seen, so I am not balding. I don't gamble at casinos. The cell phone that I have is fine. AND I DON'T NEED TO SHED POUNDS!

    Here's a sample of my e-mail per week. About 1% is seen here. Listsed by random choice.
    - Claim your DVD
    - $50.00 gift certificate
    - FREE INK
    - Credit Counseling
    - Affordable Health Insurance
    - Nokia Cell Phone at NO Cost
    - Discount Cigarettes
    - Mortgage Quotes - 1 Minute Preapproval
    - Viagra, at discount prices
    - Car Loans
    - Re: Hello
    - Debt Piling Up?
    - Claim your Free Cash!
    - Interest rates are at 40-year lows
    - Get Your Free Healthcare Quote Now
    - Get Twelve CDs for the Price of One with membership
    - Find Your One True Love!
    - Don't Be Alone Another Evening
    - Wrinkles diminishing patches...Free Trial.
    - Extend Your Auto warranty
    - small knob, no more...
    - Printer Ink up to 85% OFF RETAIL
    - Looking-For Work We're Hiring
    - Fill your house with DirecTV
    - Stop dreaming and start travelling now sgs
    - VlSA reserved for Patrick - lnstant APPROVAL - takes 3O seconds
    - Home Invasion Protection
    - Erase The Cellulite!
    - Shed pounds the Asian way
    - 100% Match Bonus At High Rollers Club Casino
    - Your bank account is closed!
    - Young Teen posing on cam
    - Give Your Child The Best Books
    - Free $50 Gift Card to Dairy Queen
    - Secret Divorce Planning for Men
    - Get Tan, without side effects
    - Sleep easy, read this
    - FREE Brand New Motorola I60 flip phone

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  3. Lounge   -   #2
    sparsely's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    static hum
    that's what junk filters are for.

    this post is guaranteed 100% parrot-free

  4. Lounge   -   #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Originally posted by Sparsely@9 July 2004 - 15:03
    that's what junk filters are for.
    Yeah, that list is from my YAHOO! bulk mail, but once in a while a REAL e-mail gets listed past the filter.


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