I haven't seen a disfunctional family in years. Why do I say this? Because we're all in the same boat, with the same stories, of the same Christmas dinner every year. We all know what it's like to watch mom and dad fight over money, hear dad yell when the new puppy pisses on the floor again, have your aunts argue over who was right in 1964. I don't think it's even a matter of question whether Sandy actually wants those good marks and that place as the cheerleading captain or it's her mother Nacy watching so snidely which pushes her to do it all. I don't think it's a question anymore of why daddy spends so much time at the office working with his new secretary and why they just don't go ahead and fuck on the dining room table in front of the whole family.
There are no questios of who's wrong anymore, it's not even a mystery that we all are. I still have some questions though. Whatever happened to the Brady Buch familes and the leave it to Beavers? Did they all overdose many years ago when their seaons were cancelled and the cash stopped flowing?
With so much understanding floating around why can't it sink in on a father when he hears his daughter's knocked up, or on a mother when she finds out her son does weed? Do they forget the fear, and the release and the cries for help? But what about the kids who get knocked up and do the weed. Have they forgotten the values they were told to know and love? Did they forget that they're supposed to love Jesus without a cause? Or did it just come early to realize that no one gives a fuck anymore? Another Sunday, another forced belief, another fake smile. We're so used to it that we go nuumb when it happens. We sit and watch while everything we've come to believe is ate away by obligation. How we plug our ears and hum when introduced to a rational thought and chant " hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil. Knowledge is what damned us in the first place so I'm not taking that chance again".
We're both sinning as you read this and as I type. I've sinned a million times over already this morning. So what's to happen to me and my salvation? Apparently I have to have an invitation to experience it and the mail man's already too late. It's not even that I have a choice in the matter. The prophecy's already been writen and I'm not the hero of the story. But apparently I still have free will just as long as it fits along with everything I'm told to do.
God's a control freak and it's as simple as that. God's the kind of guy who always gets his way and if not he goes on a tantrum till we hand over the goods. He's the kid in the supermarket who everyone wants to kill. I don't question it...I know. NO offence to him but we haven't gotten along for a while.
Me and God, we used to be pretty tight. Call him twice a day tell him what I fucked up and what he should fix....he was a good listener but he never really gave a shit. It was a one way relationship of what I have to do to make him happy.....I knew it wasn't going to work between us mostly because after fifteen years of calling he never called back. Jesus wasn't as bad. He knew what it was like to have no control over what would happen but he was a real doormat. Lucifer wasn't crazy.... he was just fucked up. Held a lot of grudges and thought everyone was against him. Mostly Gods fault if you ask me.
Yeah I used to know them all but they all slowly turned into something I didn't understand. Apparently God isnt' so loving on the other side of the world. Actually he's an all out prick. He's pretty choosy about who he wants to be around but try and tell that to him. I guess I saw God as a father figure for a while. That was before he let me down with his mixed messages and his hypocritical ways. I think a lot of it rubbed off on me.
I think religion is like cartoon shows. Some people grow out of them while others never do and that's just something we'll have to accept. Maybe someday they'll take a long look at that screen and realize it's all immature and maybe after that long look they'll clap and ask for more. Funny thing about people is that they can change at any time.
So maybe there are more questions then just the ones I mentioned but so what? The great thing about me not talking about them is that you get to figure them out for yourself. Not everyone has the same priorities as the next person and that's what makes a person who they are. Just have fun figuring out who you are along the way.