1. It barks at me when the landlady is in the house.
2. It cries and howls when the landlady is out.
3. It barks whenever anyone enters the house.
4. It's too fat /stupid/lazy to get up the stairs and has to be carried.
5. It will pester you for food if you are cooking.
6. It shits all over the garden.
7. It once bit me in the face.
8. It eats better than me.
9. It sometimes fakes a limp for sympathy.
10. It sometimes shits/pukes all over the house.