Tell us about the good points about your town, or your part of a city if that is appropriate. Five good points, five bad points. I am not asking you to run your town down, that is what the council is there for. Try and make the bad points humorous. I’ll start with the town I stay in at the moment, you figure out where it is:
1. Home of Johnny Walker (no not the DJ)
2. The poet Robert Burns first published here.
3. It is centrally located, in a tourist area, making almost anything easily accessible.
4. The oldest railway viaduct in the world is located on the outskirts of the town.
5. The town is socially minded. Admittance to most amenities is free, including a large country park and castle.
I was going to add that they have a rubbish football team in the good points. But only Zero would appreciate that one.
1. The Mujahidin were using a local housing scheme for training purposes. They left because it was too rough for them.
2. There are no Ladies toilets. They were closed due to lack of usage. The council, in their infinite wisdom, put signs on the doors saying ‘No Dogs allowed’.
3. We tried to ‘Twin’ with Kabul. But Kabul turned us down.
4. There are that many people with walking sticks (An extra £34 on DHSS) in the town. On shopping day the centre of town looks like a sawmill.
5. If you took all the Charity, Pound, and Card shops out of the town centre, there would be nothing left.
I forgot to add, I live there, in the bad points.