New Rule: Everyone has to stop pretending that George Bush is macho because, plainly, he acts like a girl.Not a woman – a girl. Not a week goes by when John Kerry isn't attacked because he said something that hurt someone's feelings. According to Bush spokes people, Kerry lost the first debate because of his “new insult” to our allies when he said the coalition wasn't genuine. Poland had Lithuania over for a debate party that night, and now they can't look at each other without crying.
All of the attacks on Kerry involve his thoughtless words, like when he said the Iraqi prime minister wasn't legitimate – the bitch; he hurt the troops when he said Iraq was the wrong war at the wrong time – men!; he hurt the Vietnam vets when he called that war a mistake – he is so not sitting with us at lunch anymore.
Bush is all, “And another thing about John Kerry: he uses Botox, he spends too much time on his hair, and he's two-faced: flip-flopper!
And, I bet John Kerry didn't even deserve any of those medals. I woulda gone to stupid old Vietnam , but I wanted to be a stay-at-home soldier.”
Excuse me, this president isn't resolute: he's on the rag.
He stopped having press conferences, which is basically saying, “I'm not talking to you.” He acted all crampy at the debates: “Its hard work” – I kept waiting for him to say, “If you don't like how I do your shirts, then iron them yourself.”
He even ran for President like a girl. Promising to “restore dignity to the Oval office.” What man gives a rat's ass about restoring an office? A real man thinks the Oval Office lost all its integrity the day Monica Lewinsky stopped coming in there to blow the president.
And then, in the one area – I'm talking about Iraq – where he could use being a little in touch with his feminine side he acts like the typical stupid male, who gets himself lost when he's driving, won't admit it, and won't stop and ask for directions. Always insisting, “Please, I know what I'm doing.”
The only time guys like this learn their lesson is when their wives leave them. So on November second, I suggest we get a divorce.