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Thread: Mammogram

  1. #1
    hippychick's Avatar Memo, what memo? BT Rep: +5
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    In a State Of Confusion
    For years and years they told me,
    Be careful of your breasts.
    Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
    And give them monthly tests.

    So I heeded all their warnings,
    And protected them by law.
    Guarded them very carefully,
    And I always wore my bra.

    After 30 years of astute care,
    My gyno, Dr. Pruitt,
    Said I should get a Mammogram
    "O.K," I said, "let's do it."

    "Stand up here real close" she said,
    (She got my boob in line),
    "And tell me when it hurts," she said,
    "Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."

    She stepped upon a pedal,
    I could not believe my eyes!
    A plastic plate came slamming down,
    My hooter's in a vise!

    My skin was stretched and mangled,
    From underneath my chin.
    My poor boob was being squashed,
    To Swedish Pancake thin.

    Excruciating pain I felt,
    Within it's vise-like grip.
    A prisoner in this vicious thing,
    My poor defenseless tit!

    "Take a deep breath" she said to me,
    Who does she think she's kidding?!?
    My chest is mashed in her machine,
    And woozy I am getting.

    "There, that's good," I heard her say,
    (The room was slowly swaying.)
    "Now, let's have a go at the other one."
    Have mercy, I was praying.

    It squeezed me from both up and down,
    It squeezed me from both sides.
    I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
    To HER tender little hide.

    Next time that they make me do this,
    I will request a blindfold.
    I have no wish to see again,
    My knockers getting steam rolled.

    If I had no problem when I came in,
    I surely have one now.
    If there had been a cyst in there,
    It would have gone "ker-pow!"

    This machine was created by a man,
    Of this, I have no doubt.
    I'd like to stick his balls in there,
    And see how THEY come out!

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  3. Funny S**t   -   #2
    ziggyjuarez's Avatar Poster
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Portland, Oregon
    How is this funny?Is it your story?

  4. Funny S**t   -   #3
    Rat Faced's Avatar Broken
    Join Date
    Aug 2002

    An It Harm None, Do What You Will

  5. Funny S**t   -   #4
    thecreator89's Avatar EFFYOUsion, biotch
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Fusionsong 0331
    Ive seen this before on this forum
    Still good, though
    (maybe it was before the place got revamped
    AMD Athlon 64 X2 4400+ Dual Core
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  6. Funny S**t   -   #5
    cpt_azad's Avatar Colonel
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Surrey, BC
    (@balls thing)

    Jeff Loomis: He's so good, he doesn't need to be dead to have a tribute.


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