Have yourself a merry little Christmas now.
<CHRISTMAS EVE SOMEWHERE IN MARYLAND>
(Night. Outside a spooky old mansion. Car radio is playing Christmas songs. We hear Bing Crosby's version of "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas". We see that it is MULDER's radio. SCULLY drives up beside him. They both roll down their power windows.)
BING CROSBY: Have yourself a merry little Christmas let yourself be light From now on, our troubles will be out of sight....
MULDER: (happy to see her) I almost gave up on you.
SCULLY: Sorry. Checkout lines were worse than rush hour on the 95. If I heard "Silent Night" one more time I was going to start taking hostages. What are we doing here?
SCULLY: On Christmas Eve?
MULDER: It's an important date.
SCULLY: No kidding.
MULDER: Important to why we're here. Why don't you turn off your car and I'll fill you in on the details.
SCULLY: Mulder, I've got wrapping to do. It's the night before Christmas.
BING CROSBY: Here we are...
(MULDER looks in the back of SCULLY's car. It is completely filled with bags of packages.)
BING CROSBY: Happy golden days of yore...
(SCULLY rolls up her window, gets out of her car and joins MULDER in his car.)
SCULLY: Let's hear it. Give me the details.
MULDER: Look, if you've got Christmas stuff to do I don't want to... you know...
SCULLY: Mulder, I drove all the way out here. I might as well know why. Right?
MULDER: I just thought you'd be more... curious.
SCULLY: Who lives in the house?
MULDER: No one.
SCULLY: Then who are we staking out?
MULDER: The former occupants.
SCULLY: They've come back?
MULDER: That's the story.
SCULLY: I see. The dark, gothic manor the, uh, omnipresent low fog hugging the thicket of overgrowth. Wait-- is that a hound I hear baying out on the moors?
MULDER: No. Actually that was a left cheek sneak.
SCULLY: Mulder, tell me you didn't call me out here on Christmas Eve to go ghost busting with you.
MULDER: Technically speaking they're called apparitions.
SCULLY: Mulder, call it what you want. I've got holiday cheer to spread. I've got a family roll call under the tree at 6:00 a.m.
(MULDER locks her door.)
MULDER: I'll make it fast. I'll just give you the details.
MULDER: (mysteriously) Christmas, 1917. It was a time of dark, dark despair. American soldiers were dying at an ungodly rate in a war-torn Europe while at home, a deadly strain of the flu virus attacked young and old alike. Tragedy was a visitor on every doorstep while a creeping hopelessness set in with every man, woman and child. It was a time of dark, dark despair.
SCULLY: (not impressed) You said that.
MULDER: But here at 1501 Larkspur Lane for a pair of star-crossed lovers tragedy came not from war or pestilence-- not by the boot heel or the bombardier-- but by their own innocent hand.
SCULLY: Go on.
MULDER: His name was Maurice. He was a... a brooding but heroic young man beloved of Lyda, a sublime beauty with a light that seemed to follow her wherever she went. They were likened to two angels descended from heaven whom the gods could not protect from the horrors being visited upon this cold, grey earth.
SCULLY: And what happened to them?
MULDER: Driven by a tragic fear of separation they forged a lovers' pact so that they might spend eternity together and not spend one precious Christmas apart.
SCULLY: They killed themselves?
MULDER: And their ghosts haunt this house every Christmas Eve.
MULDER: I just gave myself chills.
SCULLY: It's a good story, Mulder... And very well told but I don't believe it.
MULDER: You don't believe in ghosts?
SCULLY: That surprises you?
MULDER: Well... Yeah. I thought everybody believed in ghosts.
SCULLY: Mulder, if it were any other night I might let you talk me into it but the halls are decked and I got to go.
(SCULLY gets out of the car and heads for her car. MULDER also gets out and heads for the house.)
MULDER: My best to the family.
SCULLY: What are you doing? Mulder, don't you have somewhere to be?
MULDER: I'm just going to take a look.
SCULLY: (alone, to herself) I'm not going to do it. My New Year's resolution.
(SCULLY checks her pockets. No keys. She looks in MULDER's car. No keys. She looks in her car. No keys.)
(Sound of door creaking as MULDER enters the house. He turns on his flashlight and shines it around the foyer. Thunder rumbles as SCULLY follows him into the house.)
MULDER: Change your mind?
SCULLY: Did you take my car keys?
SCULLY: Come on, Mulder. Don't kid around.
MULDER: Why would I take your car keys?
SCULLY: Maybe you, uh... Maybe you grabbed them by mistake.
MULDER: Maybe it was a ghost.
(They both look up at the knocking sound above them, then over at the clock chiming in the foyer. Note the name on the clock: J. Cameron. Cute "Titanic" ref. Sound of wind blowing.)
MULDER: That's a cold wind.
SCULLY: There must be a window open upstairs. You know, the weather report said that there was an 80 percent chance of rain maybe even a... maybe even a white Christmas.
(Sound of thunder crashing. Front door slams shut. SCULLY runs to try to open them. They do not budge.)
Opening Credits. Mulder … Whooo. Scully Rocks.
MULDER: I think the spirits are among us.
SCULLY: (still trying the doors) Mulder, will you quit trying to scare me and help me get these doors open.
MULDER: Sounds like there's somebody walking around upstairs.
(More knocking upstairs.)
MULDER: There. You hear that?
SCULLY: Mulder, I really have to go.
MULDER: There's nothing to be afraid of.
SCULLY: I'm not afraid, okay?
MULDER: Ghosts are benevolent entities.
(Sound of chains clanking from above.)
SCULLY: You are not scaring me, Mulder.
(SCULLY checks her watch. 11:03. She looks at the clock in the hall. It also reads 11:03.)
SCULLY: Look, I really have to get home.
(MULDER starts up the stairs leaving SCULLY alone. Lightening flashes showing her the silhouette of a figure next to the window. When the lightening flashes again, the figure is gone. SCULLY follows MULDER.)
MULDER: Shh! What was that?
(The knocking stops.)
SCULLY: These are tricks that the mind plays. They are ingrained cliches from a thousand different horror films. When we hear a sound, we get a chill. We-we see a shadow and we allow ourselves to imagine something that an otherwise rational person would discount out of hand. The whole... Mulder...? (follows him up to the second floor) The whole idea of a benevolent entity fits perfectly with what I'm saying. That a spirit would materialize or return for no other purpose than to show itself is silly and ridiculous. I mean, what it really shows is how silly and ridiculous we have become in believing such things. I mean, that... That we can ignore all natural laws about the corporeal body- (MULDER tries a locked door) that-that we witness these spirits clad in-in their own shabby outfits with the same old haircuts and hairstyles never aging, never... Never in search of more comfortable surroundings-- it actually ends up saying more about the living than it does about the dead.
MULDER: (trying another locked door) Mm-hmm.
SCULLY: I mean, Mulder, it doesn't take an advanced degree in psychology to understand the... the unconscious yearnings that these imaginings satisfy. You know, the-the longing for immortality the hope that there is something beyond this mortal coil- (MULDER tries another locked door) that-that we might never be long without our loved ones. I mean, these are powerful, powerful desires. I mean, they're the very essence of what make us human. The very essence of Christmas, actually.
(They both turn as a door creaks as it opens slightly by itself. A light is on in the room behind it.)
MULDER: Tell me you're not afraid.
SCULLY: All right. I'm afraid... but it's an irrational fear.
(SCULLY takes a few breaths, then heads for the cracked open door.)
MULDER: (not moving) I got your back.
SCULLY: (whispers) Thank you.
(SCULLY pushes the door open and looks inside.)
SCULLY: Mulder, did it occur to you that there aren't ghosts here but that somebody actually might be living in this house?
MULDER: No one lives here.
SCULLY: But when you and I were sitting out in the car there was not a light on. And look at this.
(MULDER and SCULLY walk into an elegant turn of the century two story library. There is a ladder leading down to the lower level. Furniture is covered with white cloth. Chandelier. Great harpsichord music.)
MULDER: Must have been some kind of electrical surge.
SCULLY: Mulder, did you happen to notice the clock downstairs is keeping perfect time?
MULDER: Is it?
SCULLY: And how do you explain that?
(Indicates smoking fireplace. They go down the ladder to the fireplace.)
SCULLY: This fire has just gone out.
SCULLY: Don't look so disappointed.
MULDER: Why would anyone want to live in a cursed house?
SCULLY: Mulder, it's not enough that it's haunted? It has to be cursed?
MULDER: Every couple that's ever lived here has met a tragic end. Three double murders in the last 80 years. All on Christmas Eve.
(From above there is the sound of a door slamming and a thumping.)
MULDER: Whoa... There's that sound again
(They look down at the floor boards which are creaking. MULDER moves the furniture out of the way and puts his ear down to the floor. The doors to the library creak. SCULLY looks up at them, then notices that the ladder to the upper level of the library is missing.)
(SCULLY turns back to MULDER who has gotten up from the floor and is holding the flashlight under his chin in the classic "scare the bejeebees out of your little sister/friend" pose. It works. SCULLY turns and screams and he screams back at her.)
SCULLY: That's not funny!
MULDER: (chuckling) I think there's a hiding space under the floorboards.
SCULLY: What are you going to do?
MULDER: There may be somebody trapped under there.
SCULLY: Mulder, don't.
MULDER: I got to get them out.
SCULLY: Not now.
MULDER: Hey, you have a gun, right? Rationally, you've been in much more dangerous situations.
(MULDER begins pulling up floor boards. Exposes a very dead man.)
MULDER: I was half right.
SCULLY: Oh, my God.
(MULDER keeps pulling up boards, exposes another body.)
MULDER: Hey, Scully... Look at this.
SCULLY: It's a woman.
(SCULLY shines her flashlight on the two very decomposed corpses. Woman appears to have a bullet wound in her belly, man a wound in his chest.)
SCULLY: Mulder, it looks like they were shot to death.
SCULLY: You know what's weird?
SCULLY: Mulder, she's wearing my outfit.
(SCULLY and the female corpse are both wearing a white blouse and black jacket.)
MULDER: How embarrassing.
SCULLY: Yeah, well, you know what? He's wearing yours.
(MULDER checks what he's wearing- white T-shirt and leather jacket.)
MULDER: Oh... Scully...
SCULLY: That's us.
(They run out of the room and into … the library again. Great flashlight sequence, shining opposite directions, then over each other.)
MULDER: (realizing) Hey, Scully...
SCULLY: This is the same room.
(They try again, and enter the library again. They still see the dead bodies.)
MULDER: All right. I'm beginning to... Get this.
SCULLY: You go through that door and I...
MULDER: I should come out... This door.
(MULDER crosses to the opposite end of the room and exits into the library again. SCULLY waits for him to enter the door next to her, but he doesn't. They are separated.)
(Doors slam between them. MULDER crosses to the door that just closed. He goes through it into the library again. The room is empty.)
(Same scene continued. MULDER is banging on the door trying to connect with SCULLY.)
MULDER: Hey, Scully. Scully, can you hear me?
(MULDER shoots the lock off the door, then opens it only to find that the doorway has been bricked up. He turns to see MAURICE, an older man wearing a hat standing in the room.)
MULDER: Hey! Who are you?
MAURICE: That's a question I should be asking being this is my house you're standing in. This isn't one of those home invasions, is it?
MAURICE: Good. Would you like me to show you the door?
MULDER: That's very funny.
MAURICE: I wasn't making a joke.
MULDER: Have you looked at the door?
MAURICE: Uh-huh, I'm looking at it now.
MULDER: Tell me what you see.
MAURICE: I see a door with the lock shot off it. You going to pay for that?
MULDER: That's a door with a brick wall behind it.
MAURICE: (disbelieving) Okay, sure.
MULDER: You're playing tricks on me.
MAURICE: If I am, I'm sorry but I don't know any tricks.
MULDER: Yeah? That's a trick in itself, isn't it? You've been playing tricks on us since we got here.
MAURICE: Am I to take it we're not alone?
MULDER: Ah, that's very funny coming from a ghost.
MAURICE: ( laughs heartily ) Yeah, oh... the gun fooled me a little at first. You're a ghost hunter, huh? And you think I'm a ghost, huh? I've seen a lot of strange folks coming around here with a lot of strange equipment but I think you must be the first I've seen come armed.
MULDER: Strange folks?
MULDER: Like those folks under the floorboard
(MULDER turns and shines his light on the floor, but the corpses are missing, the floor untouched.)
MULDER: How did you do that?
MAURICE: I didn't do anything.
MULDER: There were corpses here-- bodies buried under the floorboards.
MAURICE: Why don't you have a seat, son.
(Short time later. MULDER is sitting with his face in his hands.)
MAURICE: You drink? Take drugs?
MAURICE: Get high?
MAURICE: Are you overcome by the impulse to make everyone believe you?
(MULDER looks up at him in surprise.)