Don't do it! Don't let personal vanity fool you into undertaking the latest fad beauty treatment from the West Coast. Be warned! A grotesque and barbaric new cosmetic procedure is headed toward Manhattan, and you must resist the temptation to try it. Spawned on the extreme fringes of the Hollywood beauty scene�where vaginal "rejuvenation" surgery is more common than a mole removal this heretofore unthinkable concept could change your life, or at least the color of your bum. Yes, you guessed it: I'm talking about anus-bleaching.
Whispers and innuendoes about this shocking new procedure and the celebs who bleach were jump-started by a snippet in the now-defunct Talk magazine. The Richard-Gere-gerbil-rumor-like frenzy has unfairly (I hope) zeroed in on ultra-thin thespian Lara Flynn Boyle. The wicked Web rumor mill has caused the talented and lovely star of The Practice to be ordained as the official Internet patron saint of anus-bleaching.
While Ms. Flynn Boyle gets more than her fair share of ink, the big question why would anyone engage in this extremely narcissistic activity? remains unanswered: Web sites focus instead on bleaching tips, as if sharing ingredients for an apple-pie recipe. Click warily on www.pucker.up.com: This site has an anonymous "anal adviser" who advises his/her would-be bleachers (who have names like Black-Eyed Susan) on the various products available. Hydroquinone, kojic acid and mandelic acid are those currently favored by the sphincter community.
Before you go rushing for the Clorox, you might want to hear what Manhattan�s medical elite are saying about this matter. "These people need a hobby," gasped dermatological doyenne Dr. Pat Wexler when I spoke to her by phone between clients. Sex and the City cast derma-fave Dr. Brad Katchen shared La Wexler's rectal reservations. "The anus is genital tissue," he said simply from Skincarelab, his headquarters in Soho. "Bleaching would irritate it." The conclusion? Wax and pluck if you must, but don't tinker with your sphincter.