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Thread: Zen Wisdom

  1. #1
    hippychick's Avatar Memo, what memo? BT Rep: +5
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    In a State Of Confusion
    1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,
    for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me
    the hell alone.

    2. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative
    the same night.

    3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if your going to steal your
    neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

    4. Sex is like air -- it's not important unless you aren't getting any.

    5. No one is listening until you fart.

    6. Always remember you are unique -- just like everyone else.

    7. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

    8. If you think nobody cares if you are alive, try missing a couple of
    car payments.

    9. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
    That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes.

    10. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

    11. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,
    and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

    12. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
    probably worth it.

    13. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

    14. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

    15. Don't worry -- it only seems kinky the first time.

    16. Good judgement comes from bad experience, and a lot of the comes from
    bad judgement.

    17. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put
    it back in your pocket.

    18. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

    19. Duct tape is like the Force -- it has a light side and a dark side,
    and it holds the universe together.

    20. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works

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  3. Funny S**t   -   #2
    cpt_azad's Avatar Colonel
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Surrey, BC
    10. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

    Jeff Loomis: He's so good, he doesn't need to be dead to have a tribute.


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