Urinal Test
Take the first annual, Choose-A-Urinal Challenge! Men should ace this test (or suffer the wrath of men everywhere)... women are on their own. But, there IS a code of the rest room that MUST be followed. The, following is the urinal configuration in a sample men's room. An X above the number will indicate "in use."
(Sample)
X X
1 2 3 4 5 6
Indicates men are at stalls 3 and 6.
You mission is to identify correctly, based on proper urinal etiquette, the stall at which you should stand. Good luck!
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Easy Section
1. Urinals 2 and 4 are occupied.
X X
1 2 3 4 5 6
Enter your choice here: __
The correct answer is 6. It's the ONLY one to go to and every guy instinctively knows this.
2. Urinal 1 is occupied.
X
1 2 3 4 5 6
Enter your choice here: __
The correct answer is 6. Stall 5 is acceptable, but you run a greater risk of being next to someone who arrives later.
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Kind of Tricky Section
3. No urinals are occupied.
1 2 3 4 5 6
Enter your choice here: __
The correct answer is 1 or 6. By choosing one of these, you are tacitly saying, "I don't want anyone next to me."
4. Urinals 2, 4 and 6 are occupied.
X X X
1 2 3 4 5 6
Enter your choice here: __
The correct answer is 1. You're stuck being next to at least ONE guy, so you minimize the impact and get a wall on your left. NEVER go between TWO guys if you can help it. Exceptions to this are stadium rest rooms where the herd thunders in.
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Subtle, Tricky, but Important to Know Section
5. Urinals 2, 5 and 6 are occupied.
X X X
1 2 3 4 5 6
Enter your choice here: __
The correct answer is 4. Believe it or not, 1 or 3 "couples" you with the guy in stall 2. And we wouldn't want THAT now, would we? This differs from question 4 in such a subtle way that the nuances cannot be explained. Suffice it to say, only we men would understand!
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VERY Tricky Indeed Section
6. Urinals 1, 2, 5 and 6 are occupied.
X X X X
1 2 3 4 5 6
Enter your choice here: __
The answer is NONE! You go to the mirror and pretend to comb your hair or straighten a tie until the urinals "open up" a bit more. If you have to go REAL, REAL BAD, for God's sake, man, use a stall with a door!
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Other Parts of the Unwritten Code of the Urinals:
NO Talking, unless it's a good friend... but even then, keep it terse and unemotional. This ain't no clubhouse.
I don't think I need to tell you, but absolutely NO touching of anyone other than yourself. A touch of another's elbow is the highest offense.
NO Singing. Period.
Glances are for purposes of acknowledgment only..."Yeah, I see you there. I will not look again."
Who'd have thought SO much goes into a seemingly simple process?
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