my gran speaks italian - i'll be damned if i know what she says !
Poster
my gran speaks italian - i'll be damned if i know what she says !
Single handedly destroying the NHS from the inside
Noodle Critic
BT Rep: +2
When playing computer games - Die ya wee bugger!!
When doing something she told you not to - If your legs fall off, don't come running to me.
In general - Bugger it.
I'll be damned if I know - evil cackle.
That's the way the potato mashes.
That's the way the pan flashes.
That's the way the market crashes.
That's the way the whip lashes.
That's the way the teeth gnashes.
Kentish old lady
BT Rep: +8
Originally Posted by SpatulaGeekGirl
You're related to Granny Weatherwax?
Poster
BT Rep: +4
I'm quite lucky to still have 3 Grandmothers alive.
My Nana smells like a cabbage, and threatens us younguns with the paddle a lot. Her fave poem is;
3 whores, n 3 whores, n 3 whores make nine.
One whore said to another, is your hole as big as mine.
Sums her up really, dirty wee miden.
My Bestemor sits at the dining table, and burps like a trucker.
Then quite daintily says, Pardon a beast.
We got her drunk one xmas, and she flashed at my pal.
My Gran doesn't say anything after making body noises, she just smiles.
In fact, she doesn't do much unless you call her a mackem.
My Grandpops is fantastic, he suffers my Gran daily.
I used to live with them both.
Every morning, before I woke, he would heat my undies on the radiator and make crumpets and tea. Then go to the shops for the paper, and we would do the crossword together before he walked me to school.
His only saying is, "Yes, dear." :crying:
Last edited by Lilmiss; 02-01-2005 at 12:09 AM.
_________________________
Last edited by Alien5; Today at 12:51
Dexter's Apprentice.
if you keep playing with it ,it'll fall off
stop picking your nose your head will cave in
if asked what was for tea,she would say windmill pie...never could suss that one
eat your crust's it'll make your hair curly
All spelling mistakes and grammatical errors in my post's are intentional.
Poster
BT Rep: +1
The best way to keep a secret:- Tell everyone not to tell anyone.
Looking for loopholes
Lilmiss had an extra one assigned to her to keep her in line.
Doesn't seem to have worked though
Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum
Poster
BT Rep: +4
I have never broken a rule I found fair.
I may get a new stepdaddy, and some more Grandparents soon.
They are from Baaaaaaaarnley, though.
Last edited by Lilmiss; 02-02-2005 at 12:57 AM.
_________________________
Last edited by Alien5; Today at 12:51
there is no god
i don't recollect any overused phrases however i do remember things like her spitting on a hankie to wipe dirt off of us if we came too close.
it’s an election with no Democrats, in one of the whitest states in the union, where rich candidates pay $35 for your votes. Or, as Republicans call it, their vision for the future.
Looking for loopholes
Would collecting stamps not be easier? (stamps would be less likely to own paddles tooI have never broken a rule I found fair.
I may get a new stepdaddy, and some more Grandparents soon.
They are from Baaaaaaaarnley, though.
)
Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
)
Bookmarks