A teacher gave her 5th grade class an assignment: They were to
have their parents tell them a story with a moral. The next day
the kids came to class, and one by one, told their stories:
Little Kathy raised her hand first and said, "We live on a farm
and have hens that lay eggs for market. Once we were taking a
basket of eggs to market on the front seat of the pickup truck
and we hit a big bump in the road. The eggs went flying and
broke all over everything."
And what is the moral to that story?"
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket."
"Very good," said the teacher.
Then little Tammy raised her hand and said, "We live on a farm,
too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen
eggs once, but when they hatched, we got only ten live chicks.
And the
moral to that story is, don't count your chickens before they
are hatched."
"That was a fine example, Tammy. Johnny, I believe you ha d your
hand up next."
"Yes Ma'am. My daddy told me that my Aunt Karen was a flight
engineer in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail
out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of
whiskey, a machine gun, and a machete. She drank the whiskey on
the way down so it wouldn't break, and then she landed right in
the middle of a hundred enemy soldiers. She killed seventy of
them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets, then she
killed twenty more with the machete before the blade broke off.
Then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."
"Good Heavens!" said the horrified teacher. "What did your daddy
tell you was the moral to that terrible story?"
"Stay the hell away from your Aunt Karen when she's been
drinking."
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