Kazaa and Sony music are once again embattled in a bitter lawsuit, only this time it's not against each other. A fourtenn year old unsatisfied with the quality of songs he downloads off Kazaa has launched a multi-million dollar class action suit against music giant Sony and filesharing company Kazaa. The plaintiff is seeking punitive damages due to poor quality of the mp3's he dowloads.
Snotty nosed brat Max Donelly claims "I downloaded a Korn song and the quality was horrible. This is bullshit man, my hoarse-throat grandmother playing the accordian screaming at the top of her lungs sounds better than this, what the hell is up with that?"
The plaintiff is claiming punitive damages and retribution for all the potential CD purchases that weren't made beacuse of Kazaa. Why Sony is included in this lawsuit remains unclear, but insiders believe Sony produces CD's which don't produce quality mp3 files.
Donelly claims that low recording levels on his latest download, Linkin Park's 'Crawling', is what made him decide to take action. "Look, I've got dial up internet and it takes me 30 minutes to download a song, so I expect quality when I open that file. That's 30 minutes of my life wasted on something that I can hardly hear. Sometimes the songs are even incomplete, and it pisses me off!"
Sony chief-of-staff Ron Donaldson says this lawsuit is 'absolutely ridiculous'. "This 12 year old punk has the nerve to not only steal our music, but then sue us because the quality isn't as good as the paid product. Unbelievable."
The Kazaa legal team has refused to comment on the issue, but analysts predict that with much of Kazaa's consumers shopping at I-Tunes, this lawsuit will probably break the filesharing giant.
Unemployed 38 year old Web jockey Rusty Roads hints that he too may join in on this lawsuit. "Kazaa hasn't done anything to ensure a quality product," Roads says from his parents basement in Wyoming, "A few times I downloaded what was supposed to be Megadeth songs but turned out to be viruses. You know how much quality downloading time I've lost fixing these viruses and deleting poor mp3 files?" Roads went on to say that Hollywood may be next if the quality movie downloads don't start shaping up.
There was a time when the music industry feared the digital music revolution would be the end of paid music for good. Who would have thought they were right?