(ze Review) London

[100%]

(ze Review) London
Once again thanks for all your tips when i asked for them a while ago.
Of course we didn't follow any of them - but it gets you mentally prepared none the less.

Berner's Hotel - Turned out to be fantastic exclusive, impressive entree, with a Lounge where everybody seems to do business. great for the ego. It was in the perfect position in London.

Tourist Cliche - Walking from the Hotel (oxford Circus) to the Tate Modern - if you do it right (in our case by chance) you pass by ALL the tourist cliches in London which are impressive. Soho, The Columbe,Trafalger, Downing Street(that was funny cause it was such a coincidence-nice guns bytheway), spent half an hour filming tourists taking pictures of themselves next to a guard with gold helmet (will be greatr afterwards in slowmotion) - Big Ben/Westminster - the wheel -Thames -Saatchi Gallery and Finally the Tate. This entire walk only takes 2 hrs.





Art -
The Tate - Impressive building, fantastic entree (very glad they left it open)- art soso. The best was watching the video of how they built the place. Best Joseph Beuys show i have ever seen. Somebody should reallly change the Neon bulbs on that building - alot are not working.
Saatchii Gallery -If you get your art axcepted by Saatchi regard yourself as a made man....however Saatchi is a money whore He used to have an amazing Gallery - he now bought the Classical building along the Thames - fking impressive location but a REALART KILLER - im sure it is purelly an investment. The show sucked but next month itll be better. Definetly check out the Richard Wilson Oil Piece in the back - its permanent. Buying that building is so sick.


Galleries in London are all over the place - fking headache - you have 2 sections west by cork street and east around Hoxton. The west is commercial crap - the east is mindboggling impposible to find cause they are all in garages, ripped buildings etc etc and are generally extremly small spaces with more "free" conceptual "truer" art. In a few years east will kik ass.
Best Galleries (of what i saw) Must See
Lisson (UK's most famous) 52-54 Bell Street, London, NW1 5DA.http://www.lisson.co.uk/
Gaugosian (also internationally the best) Brittania Street 6-24 http://www.gagosian.com/home.html
White Cube (cool bar next door) 48 Hoxton Square, N1 6PB http://www.whitecube.com/flash.html

Art at Tea (cool bar also) 56 Shoreditch High Street
ICA Centre
Serpentine Gallery Kensington Gardens London W23XA http://www.serpentinegallery.org/current.html
There where a few others.....and i probably missed a few.Go to the Hoxton for the wild ones

London weirdness


Survellance Cameras - I have never in my life seen so many big bro cams watching everything in my life - wtf?
I counted 12 cams on one small block - paranoia, prevention or trend?

Bus Stops -whyt.f are most of the bus stops faced backwards????????? so if your waiting the glass panel is against the street?? when the buss comes you have to squeeze yourself between the glass panel to get into the bus.Logic?
Look Left + Look Right - I would like to thank the city of london for spraying - Look Left & right on every crossing in the centre - i guess i should also thank the tourist industry and those that sacrificed themselves for this action.
Portobello suks mosse tourist caca - avoid like the plague
Sloan Street -Gucci Armani etceteraaaa - walking into those hyper xpensive shops on Sloans Street is more revolting than walking into a gallery - the door guy + the visual response you get from those who work there is hilarious. Never before have i seen clothes in spaces placed with such slime.
SUV Limos - I have seen Limos, but SUV limos..pretty impressive, ironically you know whats behind the dark windows is human trash.
Heathrow - is fucking 3rd world mess.
London Tube - I am oh so glad i am not a woman and oh so glad i dont have to take it every day.
Rugby - should be the No.1 sport much more interesting to watch than football.
High Heels - t'seems like uk women are still into the romantic look female style, flowers on clothes and definete pull towads high heels - so 80's but then again why not.
Chavs-The only chav is saw was an old aged asian man carrying a trolly with the Chav burberry decor on it

To finish off.
Standing in a dble dkkr bus, it slows down and a woman gets off, while it is slowly moving. Her legs get swept away, waks her head against the pavement (hard) - the bus keeps moving, i ask the lady infront of me is that your friend? - she says yes, she'll be alright - i look back she's still lying on the street.
How to get off a moing skateboard should be taught in all schools

London kiks ass - size does matter

[DanB]

Survellance Cameras - I have never in my life seen so many big bro cams watching everything in my life - wtf?
I counted 12 cams on one small block - paranoia, prevention or trend?

Bus Stops -whyt.f are most of the bus stops faced backwards????????? so if your waiting the glass panel is against the street?? when the buss comes you have to squeeze yourself between the glass panel to get into the bus.Logic?
Look Left + Look Right - I would like to thank the city of london for spraying - Look Left & right on every crossing in the centre - i guess i should also thank the tourist industry and those that sacrificed themselves for this action.
Portobello suks mosse tourist caca - avoid like the plague
Sloan Street -Gucci Armani etceteraaaa - walking into those hyper xpensive shops on Sloans Street is more revolting than walking into a gallery - the door guy + the visual response you get from those who work there is hilarious. Never before have i seen clothes in spaces placed with such slime.
SUV Limos - I have seen Limos, but SUV limos..pretty impressive, ironically you know whats behind the dark windows is human trash.
Heathrow - is fucking 3rd world mess.
London Tube - I am oh so glad i am not a woman and oh so glad i dont have to take it every day.
Rugby - should be the No.1 sport much more interesting to watch than football.
High Heels - t'seems like uk women are still into the romantic look female style, flowers on clothes and definete pull towads high heels - so 80's but then again why not.
Chavs-The only chav is saw was an old aged asian man carrying a trolly with the Chav burberry decor on it

Cameras - yes they really are everywhere. There are even mobile CCTV units for the weekends

Bus stops - the glass facing the road stops you getting wet from splashes from water on the road, also shelter from the wind and rain we have a lot. The idea is you queue from the stop wehn the bus comes and get on from the pavement the other side of the glass

Highway code - a big thing

High heels - hawt

Chavs - honestly there's loads

Heathrpw - sux but Gatwick is worse

I don't know about Portabello and the posh shops on Sloane St. though.

Glad you had fun and didn't get robbed though

[Gemby!]

Survellance Cameras - I have never in my life seen so many big bro cams watching everything in my life - wtf?
I counted 12 cams on one small block - paranoia, prevention or trend?

Bus Stops -whyt.f are most of the bus stops faced backwards????????? so if your waiting the glass panel is against the street?? when the buss comes you have to squeeze yourself between the glass panel to get into the bus.Logic?
Look Left + Look Right - I would like to thank the city of london for spraying - Look Left & right on every crossing in the centre - i guess i should also thank the tourist industry and those that sacrificed themselves for this action.
Portobello suks mosse tourist caca - avoid like the plague
Sloan Street -Gucci Armani etceteraaaa - walking into those hyper xpensive shops on Sloans Street is more revolting than walking into a gallery - the door guy + the visual response you get from those who work there is hilarious. Never before have i seen clothes in spaces placed with such slime.
SUV Limos - I have seen Limos, but SUV limos..pretty impressive, ironically you know whats behind the dark windows is human trash.
Heathrow - is fucking 3rd world mess.
London Tube - I am oh so glad i am not a woman and oh so glad i dont have to take it every day.
Rugby - should be the No.1 sport much more interesting to watch than football.
High Heels - t'seems like uk women are still into the romantic look female style, flowers on clothes and definete pull towads high heels - so 80's but then again why not.
Chavs-The only chav is saw was an old aged asian man carrying a trolly with the Chav burberry decor on it

To finish off.
Standing in a dble dkkr bus, it slows down and a woman gets off, while it is slowly moving. Her legs get swept away, waks her head against the pavement (hard) - the bus keeps moving, i ask the lady infront of me is that your friend? - she says yes, she'll be alright - i look back she's still lying on the street.
How to get off a moing skateboard should be taught in all schools

London kiks ass - size does matter

@ bus stop thing - it rains a lot and it stops the spray ......thats only reason i can think of it being like that - plus if a car crashes into it it hits that first *thinks positive*

@ london tube - who is paranoid now ? and the tube stations in central london are SO cool - better than some of the tourist attractions !! so futuristic and stuff ...

@ chavs - you were in central london mostly - the chavs hide in the outskirts ... at night .....drinking cider.......

[DanB]

The tube stations near Canary Wharf and New Cross Gate are good, I can't remember the really futuristic one I went too with glass and stuff everywhere.

I hate the tubes though, especially in the summer :shudder:

[Gemby!]

people smell on them - buses are cool though *number 7 - *

[DanB]

I get the bus twice a day at least.

Either the 151 or 213 in the morning and then in the evening either the 93 or 293 then either the 151 or 213

Interesting or what?

[Gemby!]

I get either the 283, 72, 7, or 70 - at least twice a day, but if i get the bus round the corner *lazy, i know* then its more

also when i go to my mums it will also include the 260

the worst bus out of the lot is the 72 and 70s - they have some real old buses where you cant see out of the window because of the dust - kinda spoils the fun :confused:

[DanB]

ha ha, we have nice new buses round here

they even tilt down to the kerb for old grannies and pushchairs and stuff

[Gemby!]

yeh mine do that - it makes a farting sound *pffttt* teehee

do you have the doors that when opening say something about them opening in a lady's voice ??

[DanB]

Yep yep, and when you press the stop button it actually says - this bus is stopping at the next stop