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Thread: Hell?, exothermic or endothermic

  1. #1
    Mr. Mulder's Avatar pepper your angus BT Rep: +10BT Rep +10
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Vault 111
    Subject: Hell?

    The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University
    of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so
    "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the
    Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of
    enjoying it as well.

    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
    endothermic (absorbs heat)?

    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's
    Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed)
    or some variant.

    One student, however, wrote the following:

    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.
    So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell
    and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can
    safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
    Therefore,no souls are leaving.

    As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
    different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these
    religions state that if you are not a member of their religion,
    you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
    religions and since people do not belong to more than one
    religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

    With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number
    of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the
    rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states
    that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay
    the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
    This gives two possibilities:

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
    souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
    increase until all Hell breaks loose.

    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
    souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until
    Hell freezes over.

    So which is it?

    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my
    Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and

    take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then

    number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic

    and has already frozen over.

    The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over,
    it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
    therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the
    existence of a divine being which explains why, last night,
    Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."


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  3. Lounge   -   #2
    Gripper's Avatar Dexter's Apprentice.
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Mansfield, Nottinghamshir

    All spelling mistakes and grammatical errors in my post's are intentional.

  4. Lounge   -   #3
    Illuminati's Avatar Simple Bystander BT Rep: +7BT Rep +7
    Join Date
    May 2003
    2008 European Capital of Culture
    It's an old one (Bash Quote), and has been warped from whether it was originally endo or exothemic to variations of both.

    Still, it's an internet classic - Bit like the Oedipus essay
    Last edited by Illuminati; 04-07-2005 at 01:32 PM. Reason: The hash smoke in my head made me do it.


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