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Thread: A new kind of Barbie

  1. #1
    hippychick's Avatar Memo, what memo? BT Rep: +5
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    In a State Of Confusion
    Finally a Barbie I can relate to. At long last, here are some NEW
    dolls to coincide with her and OUR aging gracefully. These are a bit

    1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion
    in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain, and large-print
    editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.

    2. Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face
    beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead.
    Comes with handheld fan and tiny tissues.

    3.. Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her
    grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.

    4. Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these
    new,roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, two-MuMus
    tummy-support panels are included.

    5. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have
    taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with
    pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.

    6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip
    with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of
    age-blasting cosmetics.

    7. Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheerleader is really
    paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root
    Babs and Ken, Jr.. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white and
    cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.

    8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a
    and Alonzo (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered,
    with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the
    Valley to open a B&B. Includes a real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to

    9. Divorced Barbie. Sells for$ 199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's
    and Ken's boat.

    10. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up with the
    ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of dance steps.
    Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously.. Comes with a
    copy of The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke.

    11. Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when she sneeze
    <<IMSTP.gif , forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is
    sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking
    through the channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this
    year, the book "Getting In Touch with Your Inner Self" is included.

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  3. Funny S**t   -   #2
    manker's Avatar effendi
    Join Date
    May 2004
    I wear an Even Steven wit
    I plan on beating him to death with his kids. I'll use them as a bludgeon on his face. -

    --Good for them if they survive.


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