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Thread: Do-it-yourself Tips For Guys

  1. #1
    hippychick's Avatar Memo, what memo? BT Rep: +5
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    In a State Of Confusion
    * Leak stain on ceiling.
    Cut a piece of plywood into a square. Nail it over the stain. Put a
    handle on it. Tell everyone it's the door to your attic. (Not
    recommended for basement apartments).

    * Cat hairs on furniture.
    Buy one half-litre of off-white matte interior house paint. Apply
    liberally to cat.

    * Ant invasion.
    In a four-litre pail mix together two litres of water, 500 grams of
    abrasive cleanser and two tablespoons of dish detergent. Find the spot
    where the ants are getting into the house, pick them up one-by-one and
    drown them in your pail. Or simply squoosh them with your shoes and use
    the mixture to clean up the mess.

    * Crayon marks on wall.
    Grasp in right hand one paint scraper about 30cm long. With left hand,
    grab rotten offspring who made the marks and threaten to apply scraper
    to his video game collection if this happens again. Break all his

    * Doggie-doo on lawn.
    Carefully measure one litre of unleaded gasoline into metal container.
    Place container under coat and follow offending dog and owner home.
    down their house.

    * Crabgrass.
    In one corner of your lawn, assemble your mower, rake, shovel and weed
    killer. Using right index finger, dial any asphalt company. Have them
    come over and pave your lawn -- mower, rake, shovel and weed killer

    * Cigarette burn on rug.
    Cut one lemon in half. Squeeze juice into large glass of gin mixed 50-50
    with tonic. Add ice. Drink enough glasses of this solution until burn
    becomes blurry. Move couch over mark.

    * Dirty paint brushes.
    Soak brushes in pail of paint remover. Read paint remover directions
    carefully. Notice they say solvent should not be inhaled. Move brushes
    and can to airy place -- like the backyard. Notice that solvent can kill
    grass. Move can and brushes up off lawn onto suitable surface like, say,
    barbecue. Now notice that solvent is highly flammable ...

    * Annoying drips.
    Don't invite them over anymore

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  3. Funny S**t   -   #2
    erRor67's Avatar Lord Of Everything
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    I like the first one.. I just might try it
    blah blah blah... whatever...

  4. Funny S**t   -   #3
    * Cigarette burn on rug.
    tried that one plenty of times can't move the furniture much more..

  5. Funny S**t   -   #4
    Wolfmight's Avatar Poster BT Rep: +1
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location: Location:
    Quote Originally Posted by The Cat Crap
    Buy one half-litre of off-white matte interior house paint. Apply
    liberally to cat.
    My cat accidentally dipped a leg into some oil once. It was similare since all the hair on his leg and tail went away!


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