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Thread: Texan heat

  1. #1
    hippychick's Avatar Memo, what memo? BT Rep: +5
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    In a State Of Confusion
    Dear Diary:

    May 30th: Just moved to Texas...Now this is a state that knows how to
    live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place!
    Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful.
    I've finally found my home. I love it here.
    June 14th: Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem.
    Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a
    pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun
    June 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today.
    Lots of cactus and rocks. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher
    today, but I love it here.
    July 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people
    get used to this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windy though. But
    getting used to the heat and humidity is taking longer that I expected.
    July 15th: Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of
    my body.) Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my
    lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
    July 20th: I didn't see Morgan (our cat) sneaking into the car when I
    left this morning. By the time I returned back to the hot car for lunch,
    Morgan had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up
    the $2,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car
    now smells like Kibbles and sh!!s. I learned my lesson though. No more pets
    in this heat.
    July 25th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!!
    And it's hot as holy hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the
    AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order
    July 30th: Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now.
    $1,500 in house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come
    Aug. 4th: It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today.
    It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85, but this freaking humidity
    makes the house feel like it's about 95. I hate this hell on earth state.
    Aug. 8th: If another southern idiot cracks, "Hot enough for you
    I'm going to strangle the son of a bi***. I hate this heat. By the time I
    get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I
    smell like baked cat!!
    Aug. 9th: Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and sat on
    the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my a$$ was on fire.
    I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and a$$.
    Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried a$$, and baked cat.
    Aug. 10th: The weather report might as well be a recording. Hot and
    sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do shiite for 4 da**
    months and the weatherman says it might "really warm up next week".
    Doesn't it ever rain in this shiitehole?? Water rationing will be next, so
    $1700 worth of cactus might just dry up and blow into the pool.
    Even the cactus can't live in this heat.
    Aug. 14th: Welcome to HE!!!!! Temperature got to 115 today.
    Forgot to crack the window and blew the windshield out of the car. The
    installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife
    to spend the $1500 house payment to bail me out of jail. Friggin Texas.

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  3. Funny S**t   -   #2
    Skiz's Avatar (_8(I)
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Good one. I love Texas though. I'm never leaving this state.

    That part about August is no lie though.

    The FST group

  4. Funny S**t   -   #3
    I'm Back Everyone :) BT Rep: +17BT Rep +17BT Rep +17BT Rep +17
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    nice one...

  5. Funny S**t   -   #4
    Virtualbody1234's Avatar Forum Star BT Rep: +2
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    He should be thankful that he doesn't shingle roofs for a living.

  6. Funny S**t   -   #5
    Wolfmight's Avatar Poster BT Rep: +1
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location: Location:
    Texas does gets chilly during the winter times too. It sleets sometimes and I've even seen snow about three times or so during my lifetime. The sun will make you very tired if you stay in it for more than 4 hours here.. pretty trippy.

  7. Funny S**t   -   #6
    Rat Faced's Avatar Broken
    Join Date
    Aug 2002

    An It Harm None, Do What You Will

  8. Funny S**t   -   #7
    Lol... Yeah, the heat can suck. I've lived in Texas almost all my life and still am not used to the damn Texas summer heat But this state is great place for the most part.


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