Your Ad Here Your Ad Here
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Vaseline

  1. #1
    peat moss's Avatar Software Farmer BT Rep: +15BT Rep +15BT Rep +15
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Delta B.C. Canada

    Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until, one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.

    "Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain." And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.

    That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there. Just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, "I have to tell you something about my family before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."

    "No problem," he says. And in they go.

    Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.

    They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation and leans over and kisses Sandra.

    No one says a word.

    So he reaches over and fondles her breasts.

    Still, nobody says a word.

    So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents.

    His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

    He looks at her mom. "She's got a great body," he thinks.

    So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right there on the dinner table. Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.

    All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.

    Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, "All right, thats enough, I'll do the dishes!"

  2. ** REGISTER to REMOVE This Ad On The Site!! **
    Your Ad Here Your Ad Here
  3. Funny S**t   -   #2
    tralalala's Avatar The Almighty
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Nobody is perfect.
    I am Nobody.

  4. Funny S**t   -   #3
    sArA's Avatar Ex-Moderatererer
    Join Date
    Feb 2003

  5. Funny S**t   -   #4
    Nigi's Avatar <3
    Join Date
    Jul 2005

  6. Funny S**t   -   #5
    lynx's Avatar .
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Yorkshire, England
    Heard it.

    Political correctness is based on the principle that it's possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

  7. Funny S**t   -   #6
    SugarFrosted's Avatar SWEET! SWEET! SWEET!
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Little Rock, Arkansas
    Wow! Thanks for the great laugh! I will pass that one along!
    Are you an old friend who has lost track of us,
    or a new friend wanting a place to chat?
    Come and see us in the Kazaalite chatroom on
    IRC server
    We will be waiting for you!


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts