Does anyone happen to know how to audition for the eurovision song contest?

[Skweeky]

We've got a tranny with a beard

[brotherdoobie]

Tell him to ditch the beard. A tache... that would be slick.


-bd

[popopot]

Tell him to ditch the beard. A tache... that would be slick.


-bd

[Barbarossa]

How to Audition For the Eurovision Song Contest

1. First, you must be sure you qualify for Eurovision Entry. To do this, you must be one of the following.

a). European.
b). Been to Europe on Holiday.
c). French Speaking Canaidian.
d). An Israeli Transsexual.

2. Secondly, you must also be one of the following.

a). Completely unknown.
b). A former star in the twilight of career.
c). Famous for being on a reality TV programme.

3. Thirdly, and most importantly, you must be able to sing. Without the hindrance of a legible tune. Listen to dogs howling for hints and tips.

Then, you need to find a song. The best songs for Europe are songs that nobody else will touch with a bargepole. In fact, if your song has been rejected by half a dozen record companies, then it is a sure-fire Eurovision winner.

Also, although your song will be broadcast throughout the entire European continent, if you don't sing in English you have no chance. Also, Germans take note, your language is shit for songs, it's too gutteral, and don't bother to sing in French, they will always hate you.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how you sing, or what you look like, if you come from a country that until recently was part of Russia, you have a chance.

Bon Appetite.

[thewizeard]

Dear BBC Viewer

Thank you for your enquiry regarding 'The Eurovision Song Contest'.

I understand that you would like to know how to submit a song for this year's competition.

I am afraid that this year's competition was won by Serbia with the UK coming second from bottom.

This year's competition was an internal selection so we did not require songs from members of the public. It's a system that many of our European neighbours use very successfully. Quite possibly in 2008 we may yet again hold an open competition, although nothing has been decided as yet.

Thank you once again for taking the trouble to write and for your interest in the BBC.

Regards

Mark Campbell
BBC Information Scotland

[Skweeky]

Exactly!

I want to enter the 2008 one