Facts are for girls anyways.
Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum
A True Story...
Recently, while excavating in my back yard to plant a bush, I found a coin.
A penny, dated 1994.
I thought little of it till I found the website noted above.
Having been exposed to The Truth, I realized that the artifact I'd found was actually 4,400 years old and was indubitably a remnant of The Flood.
The date and the graven images were in fact, prophesies!
A few more seconds of thought lead me to the revelation that EVERYTHING buried in the ground is 4,400 years old and was left when God's wrathful waters scourged the Earth.
Really, there is NO OTHER logical explanation.
My brilliant leap earned me a Doctorate in Biblical Archeology from Oral Roberts University™ and several appearances on public access cable TV.
As a result of my findings- and their unquestioned acceptance by every reasonable scientist- the entire doctrine of Geology has been radically revamped.
We now understand that the Earth is comprised of two layers.
The first layer is approximately 1" to 1' thick and is called (and boy! I gotta say, I'm really proud of this one!...) "Recent Crap".
In this layer it's common to find dog poop, old tires and Roman chariots.
The second (and only other) layer extends to the center of the Earth (and possibly to infinity) and is called "Shit Left By the Flood".
In this layer you will find everything else.
Except the body of Jimmy Hoffa cause we think he went to Hell.
As an aside...
I just began oil production using leftover Thanksgiving turkey- which incidentally, explains why Big Oil has been so adamantly opposed to religious holidays- and expect to begin selling to customers in mid 6407.
My Gas/Oil Dispensers will feature full service and reasonably priced tire rotation and already the business model has Exxon and BP quaking in their heathen boots.
The G.O.D. Co. will overturn the rule of the Philistine capitalists for one simple reason...we understand that everything is 4,400 years old and explained in the Bible.
Why they couldn't grasp this self-evident fact is a testimonial to just how hard-headed some of these "science types" can be.
I'd like to leave you with a pithy and pertinent quote from the Bible but I've actually never read it so read the whole damn thing and pick your favorite.
Last edited by clocker; 12-20-2007 at 02:04 AM.
"I am the one who knocks."- Heisenberg
It fell out of Adam's changepurse and was gnawed on by a T-Rex.
Makes it kinda hard to read, like.
"I am the one who knocks."- Heisenberg
Aww I wanted a 80 foot human
Remember bullets always have the right of way.
Yeah, she could clean my apartment.
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