Mp3 Sheild Stops Screeching Sounds ?

[Celerystalksme]

Q. What do American Beer and Sex in a Canoe have in common?

A. It's fucking close to water.

[Celerystalksme]

A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer.

"Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent."

"ONE CENT - that's awesome!" exclaimed the guy.

So the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with the works?"

"Certainly, sir, "replies the bartender, but all that comes to real money."

"How much money?" inquires the guy.

"4 cents," replies the bartender.

"FOUR cents!" exclaims the guy... "Where's the Guy who owns this place?"

The bartender replies, "Upstairs with my wife."

The guy says, "What's he doing with your wife?"

The bartender replies... "Same as I'm doing to his business!"

[Celerystalksme]

A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a
barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for awhile, he yells
to the bartender,

"Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice,
the woman next to him says,

"Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair - giving that
you are blind - that you should know Five things:

1 - The bartender is a blonde girl. 2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3 - I'm a 6 feet tall, 160 LB. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional
weightlifter.

5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.

Now think about it seriously, Mister.
Do you still wanna tell that joke?

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares,

"Nah, Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

[Celerystalksme]

There is a family that lives way out in the booneys and one day the daughter walks up to her dad who is sitting on the porch and asks to borrow the car to which the father replies, "well honey, you know what you gotta do" and un zips his pants.

After a second the daughter coughs up spitting and says "Daddy your dick tastes like shit!" and he replies, thats right, your brothers got the car tonight.

[Tikibonbon]

Originally posted by digmen1@30 June 2004 - 19:21
And thirdly (Blink note that I did have a first and second point) all these users that swear by Soulseek etc why do they still consult this board ?

I think if people who used these other programs did not consult this board, this place would be mighty empty except for the lounge lizards.

[Celerystalksme]

Gina was on her death bed with her husband, David, maintaining a steady vigil by her side. As he held her fragile hand, his warm tears ran silently down his face, splashed onto her face, and roused her from her slumber. She looked up and her pale lips began to move slightly. "My darling David," she whispered.

"Hush, my love," he said. "Go back to sleep. Shhh. Don't talk."

But she was insistent. "David," she said in her tired voice. "I have to talk. I have something I must confess to you."

"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping David. "It's all right.

Everything's all right, go to sleep now."

"No, no. I must die in peace, David. I slept with your brother, your best friend and your father."

David mustered a pained smile and stroked her hand. "Hush now Gina, don't torment yourself. I know all about it." he said, "Why do you think I poisoned you?"

[Adster]

Originally posted by Tikibonbon+6 July 2004 - 00:31--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Tikibonbon @ 6 July 2004 - 00:31)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-digmen1@30 June 2004 - 19:21
And thirdly (Blink note that I did have a first and second point) all these users that swear by Soulseek etc why do they still consult this board ?

I think if people who used these other programs did not consult this board, this place would be mighty empty except for the lounge lizards. [/b][/quote]
so dam true

[Celerystalksme]

A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come with me running through the forest, you&#39;ll see, you&#39;ll feel so much better&#33;"

The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.

Then they come across an elephant doing coke, so the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come running with us through the pretty forest, you&#39;ll see, you&#39;ll feel so good&#33;"

The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.

The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up and the rabbit again says, "Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health&#33; Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good&#33;"

The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the shit out of the rabbit.

As the giraffe and elephant watch in horror, they look at him and ask, "Lion, why did you do this? He was merely trying to help us all&#33;"

The lion answers, "That little fucker&#33; He makes me run around the forest like an idiot each time he&#39;s on ecstasy&#33;"

[sArA]

Not forgetting that this is FILE SHARING TALK and not K-lite forum....so that rather fucks your argument doesnt it&#33;

[Adster]