Best of the best Family Guy Quotes

[Rip The Jacker]

ya it goes like this:

Stewie: "Damn you, ice cream, come to my mouth. How dare you disobey me!
What are you looking at, you infantile, stupid, that's right, damn you and such. You can go (yawning) burn in hell."

than the ice cream falls on his stomach

Yeah thats how it goes, that was great.

[pusher]

Peter: (in Lethal Weapons after he rails against the television industry) And shame on the people who put that crap on the air!
Lois: Peter... maybe you shouldn't make fun of the networks.
Peter: Why? What are they gonna do, cut our budget?
(walks away as a paper cut-out)
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Brian: ... Thomas Mann fled to America because of Nazi-ism's stranglehold on Germany.
Tour Guide: I will hear no more insinuations about the German people! Nothing bad happened! Sie werden sich hinsetzen. Sie werden ruhig sein. Sie werden nicht beleidigen Deutschland! (Throws hand up in Hitler salute)
Brian: Is that a beerhall?
Tour Guide: Ah, yes. Munich is renowned for it's historic beer halls.
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From 'Too Different to Ever Be Pals' from "Road to Europe"

Your favorite hero is the Marquis de Sade
I bet money, you'll marry a honey, who's pretty and funny, and her name will be 'Ted'

[Monkeee]

LOL i remember my favorite one!

Social Worker: Glen honey I have a question for you. What do you do for a living?

Quagmire: Hey I have a question for you too. Why are you still here?



Peter: Wiat a minute! Meg when did you become a teenager?
Lois: Shes 16 Peter.
Peter: You knew about this?

[cpt_azad]

lol

here's another classic:

Vacuum Cleaner Guy: Ya, I found the problem. Seems that half eaten meatball was clogging up the airway, but no worries, I fixed it.
Peter: Did you, did you keep the meatball?
Vacuum Cleaner Guy: No....
Peter: .......You bastard.

or this:

Peter: Damn it to hell, son of a bitch, crap crap, piss, damn it
Lois: Peter, don't swear, it's inappropriate.
Peter: Ya? Well sometimes it is (flashback)

FLASHBACK:

Courtroom Officer: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you god?
Peter: I do........you bastard.

[ofbz]

sales agent: you can choose between the boat... or the mistery box *shows him a small box*
peter: ohhh
lois: pick the boat! pick the boat!
peter: i would lois... but the mistery box could be anything.... even the boat we've always wanted!!!
*peter takes the mistery box and its only 2 crappy concert tickets*

anything related to the "evil monkey that lives in the closet"

[pusher]

Therapist: Does Stewie have a history of violent behavior?
Lois: No! Attacking Peter is the first violent thing he's done.
Stewie: Actually, my first violent act involved that ticking time bomb that I left in your uterus when I left. Happy 50th Birthday, Lois.

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Stewie Griffin: Damn it! I want pancakes! God! You people understand every language except English. Yo quiero pancakes. Donnez-moi pancakes. Click-click-bloody click pancakes!

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Stewie: Oh my god! I've been adopted by a Beneton ad!

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Peter Griffin: The South? Isn't that where the black people are really lazy, and the white people are equally as lazy, but they're mad at the black people for being so lazy?

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Meg Griffin: Brian, you look like you lost weight! What is your secret?
Brian Griffin: Here's my secret. Put down the fork! Face!

[cpt_azad]

Lois: Stewie, you have to finish your vegetables. Now, open up for the airplane Stewie. (trying to feed stewie brocolli)
Stewie: Damn you, damn the brocolli, and damn the Wright Brothers!

lmao that's a classic.

[david622]

anything related to the "evil monkey that lives in the closet"

Chris: You know, it's a real shame about that monkey. He wasn't always evil.
--FLASHBACK:
Evil Monkey: Honey, I'm home! **sees his wife monkey with a different man monkey** **Points and glares evily**
--