What is the f*cking point?

[Virtualbody1234]

Not much more I can say... I just hope things go better for you Nikki.

[GepperRankins]

[100%]

You go through life, struggling for everything you have. A roof over your head, food on the table, clothes fo your kids, a little bit of happiness. And you think you're doing pretty well. Then you meet someone you think you can spend your life with. You think that maybe, just maybe, you've found someone that will help ease your struggle and make it a little more worthwhile. After a while you realize, they don't, they just make it worse, spending your money at every turn, their every focus isn't on you, it's on the person you thought they didn't love anymore... so you struggle harder, both to provide, and to make them love you. And even though they say they do, they screw you over at every turn. But you fight for it because you think love is more important than all those material things, and that if you love him enough, you can make him realize that he needs to support you in your struggle. But he never sees and just keeps screwing you.

Finally after years of struggling, you realize the love is gone, and all you're left with is a mountain of debt that you never would have had, no roof over your head, no food on the table, no clothes for your kids, and certainly no happiness. You want them out of your life, to try to start over, put the pieces back together somehow, but now all of a sudden they've decided that they want to help you, they put on a good show, but that's all it is, and they only make it worse, and you begin to hate them. And you try and you try and you try, but they just won't leave. Your world is crumbling to dust around you, you have nothing left, everything being taken away from you and all you want is your life back but they won't even let you have that.

So I ask.... what is the fucking point?

Jeezuz what a nightmare - It felt as if you were talking about me - suddenly I feel like such an asshole. Thanks for the lecture - woke me up.

[Arm]

Dont marry. Dont reproduce.

[DarthInsinuate]

i think your advice comes is bit too late for Nikki

[Gripper]

It always looks blackest at the bottom of the well,don't let the f*cker grind ya down,things will get better

[sparsely]

I COULD BUY MYSELF A REASON
I COULD SELL MYSELF A JOB
I COULD HANG MYSELF FOR TREASON
I AM MY OWN DAMN GOD
AHAHAHAAAAHAAHAAHA!

[Busyman]

You go through life, struggling for everything you have. A roof over your head, food on the table, clothes fo your kids, a little bit of happiness. And you think you're doing pretty well. Then you meet someone you think you can spend your life with. You think that maybe, just maybe, you've found someone that will help ease your struggle and make it a little more worthwhile. After a while you realize, they don't, they just make it worse, spending your money at every turn, their every focus isn't on you, it's on the person you thought they didn't love anymore... so you struggle harder, both to provide, and to make them love you. And even though they say they do, they screw you over at every turn. But you fight for it because you think love is more important than all those material things, and that if you love him enough, you can make him realize that he needs to support you in your struggle. But he never sees and just keeps screwing you.

Finally after years of struggling, you realize the love is gone, and all you're left with is a mountain of debt that you never would have had, no roof over your head, no food on the table, no clothes for your kids, and certainly no happiness. You want them out of your life, to try to start over, put the pieces back together somehow, but now all of a sudden they've decided that they want to help you, they put on a good show, but that's all it is, and they only make it worse, and you begin to hate them. And you try and you try and you try, but they just won't leave. Your world is crumbling to dust around you, you have nothing left, everything being taken away from you and all you want is your life back but they won't even let you have that.

So I ask.... what is the fucking point?

Love is not everything.

Basic survival is first.
If someone is shit you must train yourself to kick them to the curb without a blink.

If they want to spend time with you it will be spent on your terms to a degree which doesn't harm you.

I learned that very early (my late teens). It pains me when I see the same young females hurt over and over.

If it ain't working, change how it works.

[Everose]

You go through life, struggling for everything you have. A roof over your head, food on the table, clothes fo your kids, a little bit of happiness. And you think you're doing pretty well. Then you meet someone you think you can spend your life with. You think that maybe, just maybe, you've found someone that will help ease your struggle and make it a little more worthwhile. After a while you realize, they don't, they just make it worse, spending your money at every turn, their every focus isn't on you, it's on the person you thought they didn't love anymore... so you struggle harder, both to provide, and to make them love you. And even though they say they do, they screw you over at every turn. But you fight for it because you think love is more important than all those material things, and that if you love him enough, you can make him realize that he needs to support you in your struggle. But he never sees and just keeps screwing you.

Finally after years of struggling, you realize the love is gone, and all you're left with is a mountain of debt that you never would have had, no roof over your head, no food on the table, no clothes for your kids, and certainly no happiness. You want them out of your life, to try to start over, put the pieces back together somehow, but now all of a sudden they've decided that they want to help you, they put on a good show, but that's all it is, and they only make it worse, and you begin to hate them. And you try and you try and you try, but they just won't leave. Your world is crumbling to dust around you, you have nothing left, everything being taken away from you and all you want is your life back but they won't even let you have that.

So I ask.... what is the fucking point?

Keep listening to yourself, NikkiD. The important things cannot be taken away from you, unless you allow it.

What is worse than feeling the way you are feeling now? Changing nothing and feeling the same way in 10 years.

I'm pulling for you.

[hobbes]

Nikki you are suffering from female blind spot 101:

"He'll change, I can change him, if I am nice he will realize that he loves me"

Men do not disrespect or abuse someone out of ignorance. There is no certificate, event or act that will change the way they are intentionally acting.

When I was a younger man, I was in that role. Some girl thought I was cute, then created, out of her own little mind some ideal about who I was. She kept trying to squeeze the reality of me into her ideal and just never figured out that she was a convenient screw.

After awhile I sent her away because it was becoming painful to her. She kept trying to cling for years. Cling to a persona she made up, a person that didn't exist.

Her core problem was that she felt inadequate about herself and without a boyfriend or relationship felt like a failure to the world.

You are number 1. A relationship is about friendship and support, and should be a team game. He should want to help you.

You identified your problem quite clearly, and then you started to waffle. It is so easy for us men to turn on the "charm switch", if you have something we want, but it doesn't last.

Clean, hard absolute break.

When I was a baby, my natural father was abusive one time to my mother. She said, "That is not how people treat one another. I am leaving, I am taking the baby and I don't want your alimony".

I grew up never seeing my father, but it that is of no concern to me. It took me until I was grown to realize the courage and self-esteem my mother exhibited. When she remarried years later, she hooked herself a man I am very proud to call my Father (not step-father).

Bottom line, whether it is emotional or physical abuse, or just simply apathy, that is not going to change, and you must move forward on your own and never look back. Didn't you post a similar rant awhile back? No change, different year.

We men can be wolves in sheeps clothing, we can be so very charming as we know what switches to throw, but you have to be confident enough in yourself to ignore them.

Get busy living, or get busy dying. That's God damn right.