I saw this on another forum and don't know who to credit it to but thought you might enjoy it.
The Honorable Senators Snow and Collins
Hart Senate Office Building
Washington DC, 20510
Dear Senators Snow and Collins,
As a citizen of Maine and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue
Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the
Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process
for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.
My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the
Senate. If my understanding of this bill's
provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United
States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a
$2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a
good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started
before everyone figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay
taxes every year -- so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two
years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way
that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an
excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in
2004 and 2005.
Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local
emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped
paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could
save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status
would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative
to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for
many colleges throughout the United States for my son.
Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden
of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car
insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still
have college age children driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become
illegal ( retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms,
I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent,
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