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sim one
11-11-2002, 04:18 AM
If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.

If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!

How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?

I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.

My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go fuck.

Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!

If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays?

You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!

Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.

Could I touch your belly button . . . from the inside?

I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?

How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.

Guy: "Would you like to dance?"
Girl: "I don't care for this song and surely wouldn't dance with you."
Guy: "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants"

I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Yolanda?

I love every bone in your body - especially mine.

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

Hey baby, what's your sign? Caution, slippery when wet, dangerous curves ahead, yield?

I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this motel room.

Wanna play Pearl Harbor?....Its a game where I lay back while you blow the hell out of me.

Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.

random nut
11-11-2002, 07:41 AM
I can't wait to try some of these lines next friday.

imtoshort
08-04-2003, 05:20 AM
i thought it would be fun to post in the first topic in here......so i did.....

"Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go fuck."

i thought that was hilarious by the way...

3rd gen noob
08-04-2003, 05:25 AM
:lol:

must have missed these first time around

pretty funny

imtoshort
08-04-2003, 05:27 AM
hehe yeah......good to look at the old stuff.....

chalkmongoose
08-04-2003, 05:39 AM
Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew... 12 1
Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out! 21 2
Do you sleep on your stomach? [any answer] Can I? 16 1
Do you take it up the ass? 17 2
Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm? 1 0
Excuse me, have I fucked you yet? 1 0
Excuse me. Do you want to fuck or should I apologize? 0 0
Fancy a fuck? 23 2
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist. 0 0
Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before? 23 2
Fuck me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you? 23 2
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me? 0 0
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura? 0 0
Go up to a someone at a bar or a dance and ask her: do you want a fuck... (wait for a second gauging her reaction)...ing drink? 0 0
Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets inside out....) Would you like to? 0 0
Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck? [Slap] HEY! What's wrong, don't you like pizza? 0 0
Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!? 29 23
Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs. 0 0
Hey Baby! I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag! 0 0
Hey baby, I want to lick your thighs. 0 0
Hey baby, let's go make some babies. 20 2
Hey baby, wanna go halves on a bastard? 0 0
Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I'll throw you my meat. 0 0
Hey baby, what do you say we go behind that rock and get a little boulder?!? 0 0
Hey I am a wrestler, let me take you down. 0 0
Hey, baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy? 10 1
Hi, do you want to have my children? (assuming the answer is 'no'), OK then, can we just practice? 0 0
Hi, I'm a tawdry slut looking for a good time. 0 0
Hi, I'm not trying to pressure you, I don't want to have sex without mutual consent; and by the way, you have my consent. 0 0
Hi, my name is {name}, I like peanut butter, wanna fuck? 120 12
Hi, wanna fuck? (No!) Mind lying down while I do? 10 1
I am a magical being, take off your bra. 0 0
I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out. 0 0
I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me? 10 3
I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body? 0 0
I think we have to make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW! 0 0
I wanna put my thingy into your thingy. 120 100
I want to thank you for [insert any event here], grab your ankles bitch! 0 0
I'd like to tie you to a rafter and fuck you up and down. 0 0
I'd love to swap bodily fluids with you. 0 0
I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there. 0 0
If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning. 0 0
Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked. Not enough Enough
Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway. 0 0
My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover." 0 0
My name's [your name]That's so you know what to scream. 0 0
Nice shoes, wanna fuck? 10 1
Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex? 0 0
Nice tits. Mind if I feel them? 0 0
NOW, BITCH! 0 0
Oh, you're a bird watcher....(Whip out your unit and ask) Well, would you take this for a swallow? 0 0
Sex is a killer...want to die happy? 0 0
Since we shouldn't waste this day and age what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire. 0 0
Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?" 0 0
Take off that dress and fuck my brains out, you cave newt. 10 1
The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor. 0 0
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word. 0 0
Wanna fuck like bunnies? 30 3
We're going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck. 0 0
What can I do to make you sleep with me? 0 0
What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply. 0 0
Your face or MINE!? 0 0
Your place or mine?



Source: linesthataregood.com