the midget
(Click here to view the original thread with full colors/images)Posted by: baccyman
A midget is riding a bus when a blonde steps on him.
“Hey you, brunette, watch where you're going,” yells the midget.
The blonde looks down and says, “I am not a brunette, I am a blonde.”
The midget replies, “Not from where I'm standing.”
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Q. What do a dildo and soy beans have in common?
A. THEY'RE BOTH IMITATION MEAT!
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One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightgown. "Tie me up," she purred, "And you can do anything you want."
So he tied her up and went golfing.
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Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent." "Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of Chardonnay."
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Recent research shows that there are seven kinds of sex:
The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex
This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.
The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex
This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so horny you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.
The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex
This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.
The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex
This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say "screw you."
The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex
Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night.
The 6th kind is called: Courtroom Sex
This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone
And last, but not least, the 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex
You get a little each month. But not enough to live on.
Posted by: maebach
:lol: you are the best baccyman!
Posted by: baccyman
thank you
Posted by: Seedler
nice these are classics.
Posted by: oo3
lol nice
Posted by: gafaret
nice ones!!!
Posted by: odin22
Made me laugh. :)
Posted by: mike7778
Awesome!
Posted by: janine
haha.. new one! me like.
Posted by: jpfinne
very nice, you can never have enough jokes in the collection...
Posted by: Omaster
haha gotta tell some of these to the GF
Posted by: mjumbie
Social security sex - hmmm. Wife would "love" this one
Posted by: Shadowfire
Lol, there are some funny ones in here.
Posted by: s-class-exile
lol :D!
Posted by: SinWithin
hehe the first one is nice :D
Posted by: enahmadbs
lol http://filesharingtalk.com/vb3/../../images/smilies/biggrin.gif!
Posted by: SkitzAnimator
Puuuuurty funny
Posted by: bmorson
lol that was a good one!!!
Posted by: deep2k
I had to share the first one with the people at work they all loved it.
We have a lot of want to be blondes here.
Posted by: RickDangerous
Not from where I'm standing!!
hehe classic but great! :)
Posted by: Gnash
very nice, HOW MUCH?
Posted by: YoMaN
great one.
Posted by: DoctorX
Nice
Posted by: DefX
those sex jokes are top notch hilarious. :lol:
Posted by: catalyst05
Great :D
Posted by: gossard25
LOL nice one:lol:
Posted by: DIOR
awesomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee