Alternate Meanings
(Click here to view the original thread with full colors/images)Posted by: Rat Faced
The Washington Post published a contest for readers in
which they were asked to supply alternate meanings
for various words.
The following were some of the winning entries:
Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight
you have gained.
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a
flat stomach.
Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent
Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you
absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you
up after you are run over by a steamroller.
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed
by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation
with Yiddish expressions.
Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer
shorts.
Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die,
your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist
Posted by: Infested Cats
RF, something that you would love is "The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary" written by Ambrose Bierce (June 24, 1842 -- ??).
http://www.alcyone.com/max/lit/devils/ you can get most of the book there
Some of my favorite definitions you can find in my Signature.
Another one of my favorites is:
Cynic, n. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
Great find RF!!
Posted by: Darth Sushi
Originally posted by Rat Faced@7 January 2003 - 01:31
Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist
:D He be jammin. :lol: