When girls don't put out!!
(Click here to view the original thread with full colors/images)Posted by: wazza100
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'
I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
Posted by: snowultra
lol, i heard this one before. not quite this long, but the same idea.
Posted by: jayz707
LOL.... this is a nice one....
Posted by: RedRansom
:lol: yea i like it :P go on wazza100 (http://filesharingtalk.com/vb3/../members/wazza100-157360) thanks
Posted by: maverick_andy
Lol
Posted by: Hairbautt
:glag: Right on !
Posted by: kondrae
lol. really good one. haven't read a good joke like that one in a while
Posted by: Septimus
haha really good!
Posted by: Distinguished
He's Smarter.. Lovely one ;)
Posted by: markupmaster
Heard it before,It was still funny to read again though..
:P
Posted by: Boutros
rofl nice one
Posted by: caranthonio
very funny
Posted by: Franki
haha funny
Posted by: ksmt
rotfl, very nice
Posted by: Ramus
Rofl!
Posted by: billyfridge
How many times have you guys heard ''you only want me for sex''...HUH...stupid women, if we didn't, we would be down the pub...LOL
Posted by: nthpeter
:w00t: very funny
Posted by: MasterP
nice one... :P
Posted by: magic550
lol
loll