Stupid People "signs"
(Click here to view the original thread with full colors/images)Posted by: ShareDaddy
STUPID PEOPLE SIGNS
Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid". That way you wouldn't rely on them would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops, never mind. I didn't see your sign."
It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."
A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope - Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."
I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."
Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. Said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."
We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!" See? If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.
I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't ya know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning… ok… no problem. I thought sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked, "So… is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said "no I'm delivering' a bridge...here's your sign."
:lol:
Edit: Andy Rooney Author (thanks zaphod), I should have recognized it though, I am a big Andy Rooney fan, I think he is funny, even when he is trying not to be. I have read several of his books, however had never attached his name to this exact funny.
Posted by: BiggDee
Where's your sign? That is too funny. I know some people that need to carry their sign at all times.
Posted by: tracydani
Pretty good, especially the last one :D
Posted by: ShareDaddy
I would have to say I like them all, each one has a specific part of my humor side going ballistic each time I read it. :lol: :lol: :lol:
Posted by: zaphod
Actually, this one was from Andy Rooney on 60 Minutes -- word for word -- hard to believe, I know. He's isn't normally that funny. :)
Posted by: the flinger
sharedaddy- those be awesome!!!
Posted by: ShareDaddy
This is one of my personal favorite funnies. I received this via email about 2 years ago, every time I view the word doc I saved of it, it brings tears to my eyes. I am glad you found it equally funny. :D
Posted by: theX
:D
thats good to hear friend
Posted by: Speedeefeet
:lol: :lol: :D :lol: :wacko:
Posted by: ShareDaddy
I had to reply as this one deserves to be back up in the flow of things. Tooooo funnnny to let slip to the 2nd page just yet.
Posted by: Nobody1234
Yup. funny!! :lol: :lol:
Boy my gut hurts so much from laughing so hard.
:P
Posted by: rustedspoon
Most of this material came from Bill Engvall's Here's Your Sign cds. You can look it up if you don't believe me. I hate when people post jokes that other people made up, and claim them as their own. If you're gonna copy someone's stuff then at least reference the source of the material, and give them credit for it.
Posted by: Barbarossa
I hate when people bump 5 year old threads just to have a moan :dabs:
Posted by: Skizo
Most of this material came from Bill Engvall's Here's Your Sign cds. You can look it up if you don't believe me. I hate when people post jokes that other people made up, and claim them as their own. If you're gonna copy someone's stuff then at least reference the source of the material, and give them credit for it.
Did you sign up just to bellyache, or were you planning on pwning the Lounge later as well?
Posted by: ugluk
hahaha! first i thought, wait thats a user from the old days! but noooo! this is a oooold topic i probably read back then! hehe too bad i didn't post then.
Good that i can do that now instead. ;)
Posted by: Defy
Lol.. priceless. :stupid:
Posted by: sangos
Pretty good, especially the 1 one http://filesharingtalk.com/vb3/../images/smilies/biggrin.gif :lol:
Posted by: Hairbautt
I hate when people bump 5 year old threads just to have a moan :dabs:
He's probably one of them bloggers.
Posted by: ZoorBa
:D:lol::D:lol: