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View Full Version : I need to write a resume....



fkdup74
08-11-2005, 10:04 PM
I'm 31 freakin years old and maybe written one resume in my life,
one that, by the way, was never answered :dry:

now I need to write one
guy I know called and said they have an opening in their IS department,
and after talking to some people he thought of me
I'm like, cool, this is the kind of opportunity I was waiting for,
to get into a networking department

but I haven't a clue as to what people want to see on resumes
I'm fucked :(

Peerzy
08-11-2005, 10:09 PM
Make up lots of fake qualifications, if possible mention your not American, thats certain to get you the job.

peat moss
08-11-2005, 10:21 PM
I think Windows office has a template, keep it short and to the point. Do list your hobbies , interests , position appling for etc . Use spellchecker of cource .


You don't have to put in your age , sex or any references they'll see them in the interview . :) Good luck tho its easy ,use the internet to help find work .



I love this quote : A resume is an advertisement, nothing more, nothing less.

Your selling yourself in a sense ! :lol:



http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/templates/default.aspx

Rip The Jacker
08-11-2005, 10:26 PM
I just finished high school, where we had to make a Senior Portfolio w/ an autobio and resume. It was a graduation requirement, and it had to be perfect, otherwise you can't graduate. I have mine done if you want to see it, so you can see how the layout was supposed to be (at my school anyway).

Mr. Mulder
08-11-2005, 10:27 PM
you should put stickers on it and sellotape sweets to it, it will look extra nice and they will pick you for sure, they'd be fools not to, do it, do it now :ermm:

manker
08-11-2005, 10:30 PM
Stick to the basics.

D.O.B., Qualifications, experience, references.

Employers presume you're lying about the rest and don't care about it.


Yes, RTJ, your teachers lied to you.

peat moss
08-11-2005, 10:33 PM
Do you have the name of the person doing the interveiw ? Its impressive if you direct it to him or her . And it looks like you researched the company .


In the little box marked "SEX " Do not put in not lately, it fails everytime . :D

Rip The Jacker
08-11-2005, 10:35 PM
Yes, RTJ, your teachers lied to you.
Lied to me about what, I'm lost. :unsure:

manker
08-11-2005, 10:40 PM
Yes, RTJ, your teachers lied to you.
Lied to me about what, I'm lost. :unsure:Regrading resumes, I'm presuming your teachers didn't say to merely list your name, age, qualifications, experience and references and not bother spending much time on the rest 'cause employers don't care about that shit.

I could be wrong :unsure:

Rip The Jacker
08-11-2005, 10:43 PM
Lied to me about what, I'm lost. :unsure:Regrading resumes, I'm presuming your teachers didn't say to merely list your name, age, qualifications, experience and references and not bother spending much time on the rest 'cause employers don't care about that shit.

I could be wrong :unsure:
Eh. Sort of. The resume she made me do has basically all that stuff, and for some reason she had me put down my hobbies also. :ermm: For the most part your right. :P

manker
08-11-2005, 10:44 PM
Oops, I meant regarding, not regrading.

Anyhow, yeah :D

Rip The Jacker
08-11-2005, 10:45 PM
It's okay I understood, point is, resume's suck. :01:

manker
08-11-2005, 10:46 PM
It's okay I understood, point is, resume's suck. :01:So does abuse of the possessive apostrophe :01:

manker
08-11-2005, 10:47 PM
I replied within a minute ... I think I have a sixth sense for that now :huh:

Rip The Jacker
08-11-2005, 10:49 PM
It's okay, apostrophe's also suck. :P

I never know when to use them, so I always use them, because they make the sentence look neater.

apostrophes = looks funny to me.
apostrophe's = teh win.

manker
08-11-2005, 10:58 PM
:no:






:cry:

Santa
08-11-2005, 11:03 PM
how to write a cv etc etc you choose how you want your life to look
http://www.google.no/search?hs=za0&hl=no&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial&q=Curriculum+Vitae&btnG=S%C3%B8k&meta=

manker
08-11-2005, 11:03 PM
Wasn't gonna but I can't help myself - it's some strange affliction.

===

Use them when contracting, that is when you're missing a letter out:

here is = here's.

Never use them when pluralising

pizzas = teh roka.
pizza's = teh suck.

Use them when indicating possession:

manker's PC = the PC that belongs to manker.



I think that'll do for now :ermm:

Spicker
08-11-2005, 11:04 PM
don't forget the hello kitty stickers :D

Peerzy
08-11-2005, 11:06 PM
:no:






:cry:


Did you eyes start to bleed :ermm:

manker
08-11-2005, 11:10 PM
:no:






:cry:


Did you eyes start to bleed :ermm:I just felt overwhelming sadness when he said that apostrophes suck :(

Peerzy
08-11-2005, 11:17 PM
Makes you wonder if life is worth living doesn't it :cry:

manker
08-11-2005, 11:22 PM
Yup.

I could have coped if it was a hyphen or a semi-colon ... but not an apostrophe :no:

DarthInsinuate
08-12-2005, 12:22 AM
be sure to spray your resume with Lynx. Spray more, get more. so i'm told

fkdup74
08-12-2005, 12:57 AM
Do you have the name of the person doing the interveiw ? Its impressive if you direct it to him or her . And it looks like you researched the company .

hell I don't even know the name of the company :lol:
s'ok though, I gotta guy on the inside :shifty:

oh and as for the 'sex' checkbox...I just put 'it fails every time' :(


:P

manker
08-12-2005, 01:48 AM
s'ok though, I gotta guy on the inside :shifty:
http://www.sighost.us/members/danb/ghey.gif

maebach
08-12-2005, 02:17 AM
Do you have the name of the person doing the interveiw ? Its impressive if you direct it to him or her . And it looks like you researched the company .

hell I don't even know the name of the company :lol:
s'ok though, I gotta guy on the inside :shifty:

oh and as for the 'sex' checkbox...I just put 'it fails every time' :(


:P

research works. find competitors, history, companies it owns or is owned by. If they call for an interview, get in a fukin suit.

fkdup74
08-12-2005, 12:27 PM
s'ok though, I gotta guy on the inside :shifty:
http://www.sighost.us/members/danb/ghey.gif

meh. :dry:

SpatulaGeekGirl
08-12-2005, 12:30 PM
pwned.

Guillaume
08-12-2005, 12:38 PM
get in a fukin suit.

Of the birthday type or the leather and straps one?
Cause I really need to maximize my chances. :mankerism: