America has no culture? Shut up before I bomb you.

[orcutt989]

America has no culture? Says who?

I'm sick and tired of people claiming that America has no "culture". That's completely untrue, America is full of culture. Sure, we don't have as much as other countries, such as Japan, but the simple fact that we dont eat cats (which is one of the few things we as Americans don't eat) shouldn't exclude us from culture altogether. Even if the culture of Native Americans doesn't count (it should, because we owned them so technically they are the same as us, right?) we still have plenty of it.

You are what you eat
http://img389.imageshack.us/img389/7987/peoplealley30603062005233v10s1.jpg

If this is true (it's said a lot so it probably is), then America has culture like no other country. In fact, America really lives up to the name it aquired in the school house rock cartoon- The Great Mixing Pot (or something equally stereotypical and retarded). In this great nation you can pick up a phone, dial 7 numbers, and have the great cuisine of any country you so wish- but without any of that needless quality. An average American has probably had more Ethiopian food than the entire country of Ethiopia. Now that's what I call culture.


We're right because our bombs say we are
http://img256.imageshack.us/img256/3249/img17159go.jpg

For all you doubters to the greatness of America's culture, let me tell you this- we will bomb you. If you do not grasp the concept of America's greatness, you probably belong on the axis of evil. If not, you better be willing to give us a lot of oil. Even the president says our culture is superb. Now I don't know about you, but I was always taught that the president is never wrong. America's culture is so great, so right, that we want other nations to adopt it. Forget for a second our extremely high crime rates and gun problems. Forget about the drugs. Everyone wants to be an American- thanks to our culture.


Less is more
Unless it's important stuff like guns or fast food
http://img382.imageshack.us/img382/2732/jldress3eo.jpg

America has mastered the art of less is more, a very important part to our awesome culture. Clothes on women? Less is more. Welfare? Less is more. Social security? Less is more, and soon enough, none is most. Teachers and classrooms? You guessed it- less is more. However, some things just cannot be cut down on. Mcdonalds for example. Or guns. You can never have enough guns. Lawyers too- lawyers are among the best people alive.

You're stupid- you're probably a homosexual
http://img310.imageshack.us/img310/931/wcusign4jz.jpg

Homophobia is a crucial part of America's culture. Unlike the rest of the world, we are so great we see homophobia as not a problem but something to embrace. Even our president is homophobic, so how can we be wrong?! As the saying goes, if two men are involved who has the vagina? You think about that, think long and hard. Actually, no, don't think. You're new at this so you might make some mistakes. Watch Fox news instead, if culture was a channel- it would be Fox news.

Who's more attractive- Jessica Alba or Winston Churchill?
http://img248.imageshack.us/img248/6936/jesalba4jo.jpghttp://img248.imageshack.us/img248/1117/churchill7xj.jpg

In your fucking face, Great Britain.

NASCAR
http://img248.imageshack.us/img248/4377/nascarfan5sp.jpg

If anything sums up our culture, it's NASCAR. Nobody can turn left better than us Americans. Nobody. Rubbin's racin' as they say, which is an apt metaphore for American culture in that in makes no sense. What other country has fans that get drunk, pile into stadiums, and watch southerns that are somewhat illiterate drive in circles for hours? No other country, that's for sure. Go play your panzy ass soccer, rest of the real world- we have NASCAR!

Number 3 never forget!!!

I shouldn't have to say this, but I feel I have to. This is a satire thread. Anything said in this thread is for comedic value and nothing more. Yes I used stereotypes. If I offended you, go fuck yourself or fuck your girlfriend or fuck you mom, just don't post in this thread saying that I offended you. No, I don't agree with what's in this thread, it's all sarcasm. If you do agree with what's in this thread, then you may be a terrible human being. Thanks.


From SomethingAwful Forums.

I am American.

[cpt_azad]

lol, i found it pretty funny :lol:

even though I figured at as sarcasm (being everything in that post is Right wing like a mofo and ur avatar is communistic....) I still imagine it's something some redneck would say :lol:

[j2k4]

...everything in that post is Right wing like a mofo...

Or so the liberal rhetoric goes...

Time for you to begin thinking with a bit more discrimination, mon capitain...

[Tikibonbon]

...everything in that post is Right wing like a mofo...

Or so the liberal rhetoric goes...

Time for you to begin thinking with a bit more discrimination, mon capitain...

You better be careful, you don't want to piss him off. Just think, if he broke a man arm with one punch at the tender age of 8, think what he could do to you now that he is all growed up. Not to mention he has access to top secret air force weaponry to drop on yo ass.

[Rat Faced]

An average American has probably had more Ethiopian food than the entire country of Ethiopia.

The average american does probably eat more food than the entire population of Ethiopia.. considering they appear to live off rocks most of the time due to famine.

You could certainly hide an entire village in the average Americans pair of jeans.. :P

[ahctlucabbuS]

Quality.

Less is more :ph34r:

[orcutt989]

Haha. Let us have fun.

I hope Peerzy reads this post.

[Peerzy]

Why?

[Busyman]

Why?
Probably has something to do with you being a bitch and all...but I could wrong.

[cpt_azad]

...everything in that post is Right wing like a mofo...

Or so the liberal rhetoric goes...

Time for you to begin thinking with a bit more discrimination, mon capitain...

Done and done :)

[Peerzy]

Why?
Probably has something to do with you being a bitch and all...but I could wrong.

And you claim that i troll :blink:


If anyone should be reading the thread it's you Busy. It's taking the piss out of your great country; America. Everything it mentions is true, yet good old Busy turns a blind eye to it, cause America rawks. Now wait here while i get my 7 guns and giant American flag on a pole, and lets go Arab hunting.

[manker]

Nobody can turn left better than us Americans. Nobody ... No other country, that's for sure. Go play your panzy ass soccer, rest of the real world- we have NASCAR!Real lol :01:

[Busyman]

Probably has something to do with you being a bitch and all...but I could wrong.

And you claim that i troll :blink:


If anyone should be reading the thread it's you Busy. It's taking the piss out of your great country; America. Everything it mentions is true, yet good old Busy turns a blind eye to it, cause America rawks. Now wait here while i get my 7 guns and giant American flag on a pole, and lets go Arab hunting.
Therrrrre we go. Thaaaaat's more like it. :rolleyes:

[maebach]

The drink sizes and portions of food in America are huge compared to Canada. Who actually needs to super-size?

[peat moss]

I'd swear that most of our differences can be solved with humor . I'm a Canadian who always counted our southern neighbour as a friend and always thought very highly of my EU friends .


Found this in my e-mail last week sorry if you have seen it . But explains nicely my message to a tee. Every one loves Robin Williams ,black or white .



Go Robin!
You gotta love Robin Williams...... Even if he's nuts! Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan What we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message.

Robin Williams' plan....(Hard to argue with this logic!)

I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan."

1..) "The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those 'good ole boys,' We will never "interfere" again.

2..) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea, the Middle East, and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.

3..) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are..

They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.

4..) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!!!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

5..) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.

6..) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

7..) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go some place else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)

8..) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

9..) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10.) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The Language we speak is

ENGLISH.....learn it...or LEAVE.....

Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?

"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'You want a piece of me?' "