Leech_Killer
04-15-2003, 11:36 AM
# If practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, why practice?
# What cruel person put an "s" in "Lisp?
# If a tin whistle is made out of tin (and it is), then what, exactly, is a fog horn made out of?
# If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
# Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
# Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
# Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
# Did Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
# What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
# What WAS the best thing before sliced bread?
# If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
# Since the British throw rice at weddings, do Orientals throw hamburgers?
# Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
# Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
# Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?
# Why is the alphabet in that order?
# What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way.
# Do fish get cramps after eating?
# How come abbreviated is such a long word?
# Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
# Why is there only one Monopolies commission?
# Why do scientists call it "re"search when looking for something new?
# Tell a man that there are 400 Billion stars and he'll believe you, Tell him a bench has wet paint and he still has to touch it!
# Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients BUT dish washing liquid contains real lemons?
# How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
# Why buy a product that takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
# Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?
# What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
# If, instead of talking to your plants, you yelled at them, would they still grow, only be troubled and insecure?
# When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
# Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? (Sorry WeeMouse)
# What should you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
# Why do they report power outages on TV?
# Is it possible to be totally partial?
# After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
# How can there be self-help "groups"?
# If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?
# When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're sitting there, staring at carpeting?
# Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
# What cruel person put an "s" in "Lisp?
# If a tin whistle is made out of tin (and it is), then what, exactly, is a fog horn made out of?
# If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
# Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
# Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
# Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
# Did Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
# What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
# What WAS the best thing before sliced bread?
# If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
# Since the British throw rice at weddings, do Orientals throw hamburgers?
# Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
# Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
# Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?
# Why is the alphabet in that order?
# What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way.
# Do fish get cramps after eating?
# How come abbreviated is such a long word?
# Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
# Why is there only one Monopolies commission?
# Why do scientists call it "re"search when looking for something new?
# Tell a man that there are 400 Billion stars and he'll believe you, Tell him a bench has wet paint and he still has to touch it!
# Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients BUT dish washing liquid contains real lemons?
# How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
# Why buy a product that takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
# Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?
# What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
# If, instead of talking to your plants, you yelled at them, would they still grow, only be troubled and insecure?
# When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
# Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? (Sorry WeeMouse)
# What should you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
# Why do they report power outages on TV?
# Is it possible to be totally partial?
# After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
# How can there be self-help "groups"?
# If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?
# When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're sitting there, staring at carpeting?
# Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?