How many 5 year-olds could you take out?

[Seedler]

The question: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?

The specifics:

- You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.
- You are not allowed to touch a wall.
- When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."
- I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
- The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.
* The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.

I set my magic number at 30, but upon reflection, I think I could take on a few more. How many could you take on?

[maebach]

My cousin is 5 and she can almost take me down. I bet I could take 5. :unsure:

[Darth Sushi]

All of them...with a wet fart! :sick:

[cpt_azad]

other than they are all healthy Americans.

so they're all freakin fat....ill take my chances with 2 of em, god knows if they'll crush me first.

[Skiz]

First I'd like to say, "That's one heck of a first post!" :O

Secondly, where'd you paste it from?

Third, I'd kick the shit out of all of them. I'm a well built fellow at 6' 1" and 195 lbs. :01:

[Virtualbody1234]

Why is this posted in Funny stuff?

And what's the point? This is just a stupid exercise in violence.

Just think about it. You're asking me to knock-out, unconscious, 5 year old boys and girls with the possibility of permanent injury or even death.

I want no part in that.

Sicko!

[S!X]

This is just as bad as child pornography.

[Virtualbody1234]

Yup. Child abuse.

[ziggyjuarez]

I throw a toy metal truck at my 7yrld cuz before.His face was full of blood.

[manker]

I've read this before, either on Snopes or Wiki :huh:

I thought it was quite funny as it is soooo obviously hypothetical. I mean, after an adult had beat the shit out of one 5 year old, the rest would start crying.

A five year old is typically very, very annoying, wondering how many you could beat up is akin to a customer service rep wondering how many customers he could take down with a Star-Trek phaser from behind his desk. It's obviously never gonna happen but thinking about it passes the time in an amusing manner.

I don't see the harm in the post :D

[Rip The Jacker]

I don't get it.

[manker]

I don't get it.http://img309.imageshack.us/img309/816/dabs5sy.gif

[Barbarossa]

It depends.

If I was wearing a stormtrooper costume and the 5 year olds were wearing ewok costumes then I would probably get beaten to a pulp by about 7 of them... :(

[Guillaume]

I've read this before, either on Snopes or Wiki :huh:
And here's the 12 years-old variant. (http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2005/4/8schweiger.html)

And VB's outraged reaction can't be anything but a rod, can it?

[manker]

I've read this before, either on Snopes or Wiki :huh:
And here's the 12 years-old variant. (http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2005/4/8schweiger.html)

And VB's outraged reaction can't be anything than a rod, can it?VB1234 doesn't like newbies - it's the reason rossco demoted him from moderator to forum star.

[Skiz]

Oh yeah, are we talking normal 5 yr olds or the kind like that body builder kid...? :huh:

[Seedler]

First of all, my friends and I were just talking the other day and we just thought of this idea and I decided to turn the idea into my first post. This post is just for fun and very hypothetical. Just let loose your imagination and see wut tactics u can come up with.

When I said "healthy american 5-year olds", I neither meant ripped body builders or fatass Lays-lovers. Just normal youngsters trying to mob u.

Tactics my friends and I discussed includes aiming for the head with hard blows and trying to stay standing the whole time. After some serious reconsideration I decided if i got really pissed off and get a massive adrenaline rush, I could probably take out 45-50 as I do regularly work out. Friggin kids, just hope they won't bite, especially in that unpleasant place...

[QualityPapers]

First of all, my friends and I were just talking the other day and we just thought of this idea and I decided to turn the idea into my first post. This post is just for fun and very hypothetical. Just let loose your imagination and see wut tactics u can come up with.

When I said "healthy american 5-year olds", I neither meant ripped body builders or fatass Lays-lovers. Just normal youngsters trying to mob u.

Tactics my friends and I discussed includes aiming for the head with hard blows and trying to stay standing the whole time. After some serious reconsideration I decided if i got really pissed off and get a massive adrenaline rush, I could probably take out 45-50 as I do regularly work out. Friggin kids, just hope they won't bite, especially in that unpleasant place...

So you sit around with your friends, imagining how many 5years you could beat up? And you try and work out the tactics that you use?? And rather than keeping this disturbing behaviour to yourself, you decide to post it on a messageboard and see how other people would handle the situation.

This is not normal.

It is very, very odd.

What has happened to the Funny Stuff section?? First it was henrikjack with his odd pictures of children and then this guy and his playgroup matrix fetish.

Heres something else for you to think about..cars...women...food...football...sex...blowjobs...haircuts...computers...jobs...music...movies...anything else really, just not beating up 5year olds.

Its not cool.

I think we need a new section here, for these strange people to put their first few posts. There could be some kind of warning or disclaimer underneath it.

[Virtualbody1234]

After you finish your "activity", I hope you have fun in jail. You'll have a new challenge when your jailmates hear about why you got your time.

I wonder how many of them you could "take on"?

[manker]

Sometimes, when I'm chatting with friends - maybe drunk or a bit stoned or whatever - we talk about the best way to overthrow the government or chat about how euthanasia wouldn't be a vote winner but would solve a lot of the welfare state's problems.

However:

We're not really going to do it!!!1

[Virtualbody1234]

Manker, if someone would want to discuss, hypothetically, how many children you could molest at once, would you want to participate?

Same thing here. It's abuse.

Another thing... I was talking hypothetically about jailmates. ;)

[manker]

Manker, if someone would want to discuss, hypothetically, how many children you could molest at once, would you want to participate?

Same thing here. It's abuse.

Another thing... I was talking hypothetically about jailmates. ;):lol:

Okay.

Of course I wouldn't, but I don't agree that it's the same thing. The guy who started this thread and his friends didn't make this scenario up - it's been on the interweb for years. I expect one of them read it and started up the conversation.

Point is that the scenario was prolly first cognised by a kindergarden teacher, or similar, who was theorising of how much easier her job would be if she could smack the annoying five year olds upside the head. She thought it was funny so posted it in a blog and it grew from there.

She'd never actually do it, nor would/could anyone - so there is no harm.

When I fist read it, I thought it kinda funny and wondered if I could get more than the writer thought she could. Perhaps I'm a weirdo too.

:drool:

[Virtualbody1234]

... She'd never actually do it, nor would/could anyone - so there is no harm.
Most wouldn't molest children either. But do you really think that all who read here can sort out the difference? I don't think so.

Anyway, it's not something to toy with imo. There's better things to do.

[GepperRankins]

i reckon i could do 100, a five year old is tall enough for me to kick in the face without risking falling over

[Peerzy]

You could knee a a 5 year old in the head quite easly.

@VB - Im sure you joke arround with your friends about things but never would even think of doing it. The idea of this exercise is to imagine. Beating your bush to a 5 year old girl/boy naked is not the same as talking about what if you were in an imaginary room where 5 years old got combat training and were hell-bent on killing you. Infact the story is also quite offensive to the older person (us) as we will be having hundreds of kids trying to kill us.

[maebach]

If this thread is going nowhere, maybe it should be closed? I think its an awkward subject but it is funny in a way. I first thought it was stupid then I realised, it is funny. My cousin is five and her brother is 3 and they both can take me down (the 3 year old bites hard :pinch: ). I'm pretty non-violent so after maybe taking out 2 I'd try to run away, but 5-year olds are fast and dont get tired, they even stop taking naps (some).

[Seedler]

Manker, if someone would want to discuss, hypothetically, how many children you could molest at once, would you want to participate?

Same thing here. It's abuse.


Personally, I truthfully don’t perceive this thread to be in any way detrimental. I have to say that I whole-heartedly disagree with VB when he stated that discussing about child molestation and this theoretical situation are indifferent. This thread is a joke, and it is ridiculous to think that my scenario can actually be carried out in real life, whereas child molestation can be easily accomplished if one desires, so it is unmoral to even think about it.

Also, if someone doesn’t agree with a thread, they should maybe post a reply or two and just leave. There is no point trying to argue on the internet, because just like a hilarious pic on the net says, “arguing on the internet is just like running in the Special Olympics, because even if you win, you’re still retarded.” Now I’m not saying anything concerning anyone’s intelligence, all I’m trying to say is that, if you come across a post that you don’t approve, endeavor your hardest not to post a negative comment and just leave. If you’re absolutely disgusted by the post, then maybe you should talk to the forum moderators instead of attempting to argue with someone 10000 km away.

[manker]

Manker, if someone would want to discuss, hypothetically, how many children you could molest at once, would you want to participate?

Same thing here. It's abuse.


Personally, I truthfully don’t perceive this thread to be in any way detrimental. I have to say that I whole-heartedly disagree with VB when he stated that discussing about child molestation and this theoretical situation are indifferent. This thread is a joke, and it is ridiculous to think that my scenario can actually be carried out in real life, whereas child molestation can be easily accomplished if one desires, so it is unmoral to even think about it.

Also, if someone doesn’t agree with a thread, they should maybe post a reply or two and just leave. There is no point trying to argue on the internet, because just like a hilarious pic on the net says, “arguing on the internet is just like running in the Special Olympics, because even if you win, you’re still retarded.” Now I’m not saying anything concerning anyone’s intelligence, all I’m trying to say is that, if you come across a post that you don’t approve, endeavor your hardest not to post a negative comment and just leave. If you’re absolutely disgusted by the post, then maybe you should talk to the forum moderators instead of attempting to argue with someone 10000 km away.I argue/debate stuff on the interweb almost every day. So do most people who post on forums, it encourages forum activity, for one thing, and stops your brain from vegetating.

If you're not confident enough to put your point across if someone disagrees with you, then that's a matter for you to deal with - to imply that the millions of other people who enjoy an online debate are retarded in some way is plain offensive.

[ziggyjuarez]

Virtualbody1234=Peerzy
Now
Peerzy=normal person 0_o

[Samurai]

Probably 50-60

As much as I know I'm fit enough, I know I'd tire at some point, and would probably start using one of them as a shield at some point :01:

[Virtualbody1234]

This is your first post (thread) here. It looks like you're off to a good start at being a productive member here. :dry:

Perhaps you could start by introducing yourself better and maybe even think about posting in existing threads until you get known around here.

Anyway. This thread is a hypothetical discussion about child abuse. I think it's a bad topic and think that there are much better things to talk about.

That's my opinion. Not an argument.

[Samurai]

I'd probably take on 10-20 VB's too. I think after 20, his whining will drive me crazy enough to give up :01:

[Peerzy]

This is your first post (thread) here. It looks like you're off to a good start at being a productive member here. :dry:

Perhaps you could start by introducing yourself better and maybe even think about posting in existing threads until you get known around here.

Anyway. This thread is a hypothetical discussion about child abuse. I think it's a bad topic and think that there are much better things to talk about.

That's my opinion. Not an argument.

If i hypothetically kick you in the head will you shut the fook up:unsure:

Also who are you to say a new member isn't allowed to start a new thread and has to wait untill you know who he is before he can.

[Virtualbody1234]

If i hypothetically kick you in the head will you shut the fook up:unsure:

Also who are you to say a new member isn't allowed to start a new thread and has to wait untill you know who he is before he can.
No I won't. Violence will get you nowhere fast on the internet.

And I didn't say he wasn't allowed, I only suggested it. See the "Perhaps" and "maybe"?

:frusty: