Things people say that annoy the feck out of you...

[Cheese]

When you are cleaning a window:

"You missed a spot." or "You can come do mine."

At work, when someone gives me the exact amount of the purchase:

"Keep the change."

As previously discussed in its own thread, when asking how many sugars someone takes:

"None, I'm sweet enough."

When you tell someone you go to University:

"I went to the University of Life."



Some counter quotes to these would be appreciated.

[Mr. Mulder]

cynicism, on the interweb? :o

When your kicking a small child in the face for messing up all the wallpaper you just tidied and your boss says "should you be doing that?"

[Cheese]

When you slightly bang your elbow/foot/hand/child's head on an object:

"Just wreck the place why don't you."

[manker]

Some counter quotes to these would be appreciated.'Fuck up, cuntoid' should do the job.

Always grates with me when some cuntoid standing next to me in the urinal farts and says:

'Better out than in'

No it isn't :dry:

[Barbarossa]

'Good morning'.

That one is sure to piss me off on a daily basis. :angry:

Also, any comments on the weather, specifically:

'Nice weather for ducks'

Fucktard. Who cares about ducks?

There are too many to mention, I will be bookmarking this thread and posting periodically throughout the day... :nono:

[Proper Bo]

Some counter quotes to these would be appreciated.'Fuck up, cuntoid' should do the job.

Always grates with me when some cuntoid standing next to me in the urinal farts and says:

'Better out than in'

No it isn't :dry:

Yes it is:01:

Shuffling a deck of cards, eh dave?:schnauz:

[Yogs]

Peaps winingg boot zpellin..............:frusty:

[Proper Bo]

Peaps winingg boot zpellin..............:frusty:

yeah, idiots, zpellin rule!:01:

[Cheese]

Some counter quotes to these would be appreciated.'Fuck up, cuntoid' should do the job.

Always grates with me when some cuntoid standing next to me in the urinal farts and says:

'Better out than in'

No it isn't :dry:
People talking to me when at the urinals annoys the piss out of me. If I want to talk to someone with my dick in my hand I'll go to Sheringham.

[GepperRankins]

same difference

[Cheese]

Peaps winingg boot zpellin..............:frusty:
yeah, idiots, zpellin rule!:01:

Apart from the Hindenburg...

[Cheese]

In a high voice mixed with mock outrage, "How much?"

[manker]

If I want to talk to someone with my dick in my hand I'll go to Sheringham.http://www.sighost.us/members/danb/glag.gif

[Proper Bo]

oh, the humanity.

[Cheese]

"Beauty is only skin deep".

Let's cut you open and find out then.

[GepperRankins]

i could care less

[Barbarossa]

People who talk in clichés get right on my tits. :dabs:

[Cheese]

If asked about children:

"None that I know of."

Fank thuck for that.

[GepperRankins]

"you're just jealous"

[Barbarossa]

"Cheer up, it'll never happen"

[Proper Bo]

at the end of the day
it's a game of two halfs
and errrrrrrrm

and the all time classic sir bobby one "If they hadn't scored - we would have won."

[Guillaume]

About the age of kids:

"He's (some number) months old."

Next time, I'll ask how many hours old he is.

[Barbarossa]

About the age of kids:

"He's (some number) months old."

Next time, I'll ask how many hours old he is.

We're still counting in weeks and days... :happy:

[Cheese]

Not sure if this counts:

People who cheer when a barmaid smashes a glass.

What does rawk though is when the pub cricket team gets pissed up and cheers each and every person who enters the pub. Then boos them seconds later, confuses the feckery out of people.

[Wolfmight]

"When that other guy in the elevator farts"
Did you just fart?

"When you finish giving a hot girl directions"
YOU: Hey, you look nice by the way.
HER: Why thank you..- HEY! Timmy, stop hitting your sister!

[Barbarossa]

"Do you want to 'Go Large' for an extra 30p?"
"Do you want fries with that?"

NO. If I'd wanted large don't you think I'd have fucking asked for large, and the same with the fries, if I'd fucking wanted your limp yellow pathetic excuses for proper chips, I'd have asked for those too, you cunt! :angry:

[Cheese]

When your bank phones you then asks you to confirm who you are for security reasons. Yeah, I can see the reasons but it is still annoying to have someone phone you and then ask you to prove who you are.

[asmithz]

How bout when you get hurt and someone walks in and says anything but are you ok. Or if they ask you to do something.

[Barbarossa]

How bout when you get hurt and someone walks in and says anything but are you ok. Or if they ask you to do something.

eh? :blink:

[Barbarossa]

When your bank phones you then asks you to confirm who you are for security reasons. Yeah, I can see the reasons but it is still annoying to have someone phone you and then ask you to prove who you are.

Same is true for wrong numbers.

Someone phones up and says, "Is Bob there",
and I go, "There's no Bob's here, you must have the wrong number",
and they go "O Rly? Who's this then?",
and I go "None of your business, fucktard, learn how to use the phone, now get the fuck off the line!".

:angry:

[Virtualbody1234]

...People talking to me when at the urinals annoys the piss out of me...
The piss out of you at the urinals? Perfect place for that. You should thank them.

[Barbarossa]

"How's the baby, is she sleeping through the night yet?"


This is in fact the most annoying thing is ever said to me. I am inclined to rip the throat out of the next person who says this to me today... :angry:

[Cheese]

My girlfriend was reading the thread and sent me these (:ph34r:):


"Have you cut your hair?"

No. It retracted back into my skull you twonk.

"Is your hair naturally curly?"

No, I wanted to look like Crystal Tips.

The worst though is simply "is your hair natural?"

No you fuckweed, its synthetic. I get it all the time and it really pisses me off.

[Guillaume]

Trance/Hard House...
Anyone into it on this board? :dry:

[clocker]

Customer walks into computer shop...."Hi, I'm computer illiterate".

Please Jebus, just kill me now.

[Busyman]

When your bank phones you then asks you to confirm who you are for security reasons. Yeah, I can see the reasons but it is still annoying to have someone phone you and then ask you to prove who you are.

Same is true for wrong numbers.

Someone phones up and says, "Is Bob there",
and I go, "There's no Bob's here, you must have the wrong number",
and they go "O Rly? Who's this then?",
and I go "None of your business, fucktard, learn how to use the phone, now get the fuck off the line!".

:angry:
Telemarketing mortgage/home improvement/bill consolidator people......

Telemarketer - "Hello may I speak to Bob Wilford?"

Me - "You have the wrong number."

Telemarketer - "Well may I speak with the current homeowner?"

No MOTHERFUCKER!!:angry:

Now I fuck with them and act like an immigrant that can't understand what they're saying.

Mortgage specialist:ermm: - "Hello may I speak with Alex Benjo?"

Me - "Yes ha yes (in a smiley voice)"

MS - "Yes Alex I'm calling from 1st FuckYouOver Mortgage and would to show you how you can decrease your monthly mortgage payment by half. Does that sound good to you?"

Me - "Yes ha yes"

MS - "If you don't mind my asking what is your current mortgage at?"

Me - "Yes ha yes"

MS - "Sir, what is your current mortgage, sir....?"

Me - "Uh Ok yes (still smiling)"

MS - "No sir I was asking your current mortgage."

Me - "Uh...ok yes."

MS - "Is your wife available?"

Me - "Yes ha yes"

MS - "May I speak with her, sir?"

Me - "Yes ha yes"

MS - ".......Sir, whaaaat isssss yoooouuurr moorrttggaagge attt cuurrreeennttlly? I oonnlly wwaanntt tthhhee innnffooorrrmmaattiiiooon ttoo ssavve yyouu BIGGG mmmonneyy"

Me - "Money.....yes ha yes, money"

MS - "Yeeeaahhh, that's right, monnnney. So.....how much is your mortgage?"

Me - "Yes ha yes"

Believe or not. I'm the one that has to hang up.:ermm: My gf is fucking laughing her ass off falling on the floor with tears coming out of eyes.

I get these calls everyday on an identaring line. I'll be changing my number as soon as the new Yellow Pages gets listed.

Either way it's a nice predinnertime laugh.

[Cheese]

For telemarketers just say:

"Stop fucking around Bob, have you got the bodybag and chainsaw yet?"

[Busyman]

For telemarketers just say:

"Stop fucking around Bob, have you got the bodybag and chainsaw yet?"
Well If I have time I just fuck with them.

I'll give all this bogus information and then they drive out to that location to give a presentation and the people's houses they go to don't wtf the "mortgage specialist" is talking about.

On the flip, I always find out what they're selling first. I got my very first charge card (American Express) and also my lowest rate credit card (5.9% fixed) through telemarketers.

[DorisInsinuate]

"Asian chicks are hawt."

"I'd hit that."

"She's hawt."

and so on so forth.

[clocker]

Cashier at Best Buy during pre-Christmas rush...."Did you find what you were looking for?"
No dipshit, I enjoy standing in lines.

Paying for gas during sub-zero snowstorm..."Would you like a carwash today?"

[Barbarossa]

When you've lost something, people who say:

a. Where did you lose it?

b. It'll be in the last place you look for it.




I don't think I need to elaborate on either point... :angry:

This thread is making me angrier and angrier! :frusty:

[Mr. Mulder]

when you've had your hair cut - "have you had your ears lowered?" :frusty:


have you had your face gheyd? :geptard:

[Barbarossa]

On the flip-side, if you haven't had your hair cut...


"Are you growing your hair?" :angry:


Well, I don't know about anyone else, but my hair just sort of grows itself, I don't have to consciously make an effort, ya know? :geptard:

[Busyman]

On the flip-side, if you haven't had your hair cut...


"Are you growing your hair?" :angry:


Well, I don't know about anyone else, but my hair just sort of grows itself, I don't have to consciously make an effort, ya know? :geptard:
Well that one.....They mean "are purposely trying to grow it out or you just missed going to the barber."

RU growing your hair does sound stupid though. Insert 'trying' and it sounds better without being too literal about it.

[maebach]

When you've lost something, people who say:

a. Where did you lose it?

b. It'll be in the last place you look for it.




I don't think I need to elaborate on either point... :angry:

This thread is making me angrier and angrier! :frusty:

Those 2 are the main points after 'what did you loose?'

[Barbarossa]

On the flip-side, if you haven't had your hair cut...


"Are you growing your hair?" :angry:


Well, I don't know about anyone else, but my hair just sort of grows itself, I don't have to consciously make an effort, ya know? :geptard:
Well that one.....They mean "are purposely trying to grow it out or you just missed going to the barber."

RU growing your hair does sound stupid though. Insert 'trying' and it sounds better without being too literal about it.

"Trying" just puts an aggressive slant on the whole conversation.

e.g. "Are you trying for an Even Steven with a Temp Taper Fade at the back?" implies that you do in fact look like a geptard instead. :geptard:

[Busyman]

Well that one.....They mean "are purposely trying to grow it out or you just missed going to the barber."

RU growing your hair does sound stupid though. Insert 'trying' and it sounds better without being too literal about it.

"Trying" just puts an aggressive slant on the whole conversation.

e.g. "Are you trying for an Even Steven with a Temp Taper Fade at the back?" implies that you do in fact look like a geptard instead. :geptard:
Well most people don't bother with "Are you letting your hair grow for a long hairstyle?"
Oh but even that "letting your hair grow" might churn your butter so one should simply say, "Are you purposely skipping haircuts?" :1eye:

[Cheese]

I actually toyed with posting "Are you growing a beard?" as a stupid thing people say when you haven't shaved for a few days.

[maebach]

:lol: . My dad gets that (he use to have a full beard) and he hates it.

[Chewie]

Phone calls to the auto spares store in which I used to work:

"Hello, Motos."
"Hello, is that Motos?"
------------
"Hello, Motos."
"Hello, what time to you close?"
"We close at 7."
"7 o'clock?"
(No, 7 bananas)
------------
"Hello, Motos."
"Hello, what time do you close?"
"7 o'clock."
"7 o'clock tonight?"
------------
And I've had this sort of conversation on several occasions...

"Can you give me the price for <xx part>, please?"
"I'm afraid you'll need to go to a franchised dealer for that, sir."
"Will they have one?"
"I don't know sir, you'll need to speak to the dealer."
"How much would it cost?"
"I really couldn't say, the only people that could tell you that would be the dealer."
"What would be a reasonable price for one?"
"Well, what I think is reasonable and what a dealer may charge may be two completely different figures, sir."
"What would be a rough estimate, then?"
(finally giving in) "I'd say somewhere between £15 and £500."
"That's a lot just for <xx part>"

[Busyman]

:lol: . My dad gets that (he use to have a full beard) and he hates it.
Thankfully, I always have a beard. Had it since the Even Steven with the Temp Taper fade.:rolleyes:

[Proper Bo]

do you call it an Odd Barry with a Perma Taper fade?

[Busyman]

do you call it an Odd Barry with a Perma Taper fade?
RIF

[Proper Bo]

you used this "RIf" before, yet you still haven't explained to us what it means:dabs:

[Cheese]

you used this "RIf" before, yet you still haven't explained to us what it means:dabs:
Reading is fundamental. I think Busy is a secret AOLer.

[enoughfakefiles]

I actually toyed with posting "Are you growing a beard?" as a stupid thing people say when you haven't shaved for a few days.

People usally say are you growing a beard or acting the goat :dabs:

[brotherdoobie]

"Try thinking outside the box." :angry:

Peace bd

[Yogs]

"At the end of the day...............":frusty:

[Yogs]

"Stepping up to the plate..........":wacko:

[Proper Bo]

Yo(insert anything relevant to the post just made here)

[Guillaume]

Yo(insert anything relevant to the post just made here)
Yopersecution :dry:

[SpatulaGeekGirl]

"Just ignore them and they'll go away."

Like fuck they will, you creepy little cock-sucking anti-sympathetic authoritarian bitchass bastard.

[brotherdoobie]

"Let's just be friends." :dabs:

Peace bd

[Yogs]

"It's nothing personal...........":blink:

[bashnu]

Simply when the repeat the same thing over and over again, if you know what i mean. Simply when the repeat the same thing over and over again, if you know what i mean.

[Busyman]

When she says, "Don't cum in my mouth.":ermm:

[HeavyMetalParkingLot]

When she says, "Don't cum in my mouth.":ermm:

Do you just dislike having to pay the extra $5?

[JPaul]

Yo(insert anything relevant to the post just made here)
Yopersecution :dry:
Yoranoia.

[JPaul]

When she says, "Don't cum in my mouth.":ermm:

Do you just dislike having to pay the extra $5?
:babumdish:

[Wolfmight]

When people say,

"Paper or Plastic?" (Uhg, I dunno...paper? NO PLASTIC! NO wait...Paper? Plastic. NOO!!!..........but it was too late :( )

[maebach]

When she says, "Don't cum in my mouth.":ermm:

Do you just dislike having to pay the extra $5?

pwned? :ph34r:

[Lilmiss]

mind how you go.



only cos i find meself saying it nowadays. :unsure:

[Busyman]

When she says, "Don't cum in my mouth.":ermm:

Do you just dislike having to pay the extra $5?
Oh is that the normal pricing structure or do you give freebies for first-timers?

[clocker]

"Don't touch me there".

[asmithz]

"Don't touch me there".

Oh when they wake up and start screaming:01:

[Cheese]

"Do you mind waiting until tomorrow for that."

When they really mean "Fuck you, you will wait until tomorrow because I can't be arsed."

Basically any sentence that starts, "Do you mind..."

[Barbarossa]

Indeed.

Also any sentence that starts "No offence, but..." or "I don't mean to be rude, but..."

[Proper Bo]

"It's not raspberry ripple, it's differently abled":dabs:

[Cheese]

Indeed.

Also any sentence that starts "No offence, but..." or "I don't mean to be rude, but..."

I like the "No offence..." for forum use though.

For example if I wanted to insult the imaginary forum poster Togi I would say:

"No offence mate, but you're a cunt."

[Barbarossa]

Indeed.

Also any sentence that starts "No offence, but..." or "I don't mean to be rude, but..."

I like the "No offence..." for forum use though.

For example if I wanted to insult the imaginary forum poster Togi I would say:

"No offence mate, but you're a cunt."

Just saying "Yogi, you're a cunt" will work just fine. :schnauz:

[Proper Bo]

worthy of posting here too, methinks:schnauz:
http://img228.imageshack.us/img228/3524/yogi5vk.jpg

[enoughfakefiles]

bump

[maebach]

"don't worry"

[Barbarossa]

My lad has always had a good 12 hours sleep in the night, right from when he was born - and for the last year he sleeps right thro'. Just lucky, I guess.

:angry:

[DorisInsinuate]

"lol"

[DorisInsinuate]

"I hope Blight didn't like I probably will next week."

[Barbarossa]

Oh, and of course, the classic:

"So we'll be there next tuesday morning between 9 am and 1 pm to fit your carpets..."

:angry:

[maebach]

"o rly" sometimes

[DorisInsinuate]

When refering to the four-five-one formation.

"It shouldn't work in theory."

[Cheese]

When refering to the four-five-one formation.

"It shouldn't work in theory."

Nonsense, my PAFC team on Fifa Manager 2006 does quite well with it.

[Barbarossa]

O Rly? :mellow:

[Busyman]

"Can I ask a question?"

You just did

"Question"

Just ask it ffs.

[Cheese]

Spain being described as a dark horse team every World Cup. Nah mate, they're just shite.

[JPaul]

Spain being described as a dark horse team every World Cup. Nah mate, they're just shite.
They're not just shite, they're diving bastards as well.

[Barbarossa]

Spain being described as a dark horse team every World Cup. Nah mate, they're just shite.

I quite like the phrase "perennial under-achievers" for Spain with respect to major tournaments... :schnauz:

[maebach]

"I have you on block"