baccyman
03-15-2006, 07:45 PM
Thought for the day:
As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice:
When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS"?
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A tourist in Canada celebrated the 4th of July by getting stone drunk. He became obnoxious and disorderly, and was hauled into court for disturbing the peace.
"How do you plead?" the Judge asked.
"Not guilty!" replied the accused.
"How can you plead 'not guilty. You're drunker than a skunk," the judge said.
"Well, you see, it's like this, your honor. I was only following orders. When I got into town, there was this big sign that said, DRINK CANADA DRY.
And that's what I did."
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Did you hear about the depressed proctologist?
He was feeling down in the dumps.
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I noticed my husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his ample stomach.
Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this maneuver, I quipped, "I don't think that is going to help much, hon."
"Sure it does," he said. "How else can I can see the numbers?"
As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice:
When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS"?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A tourist in Canada celebrated the 4th of July by getting stone drunk. He became obnoxious and disorderly, and was hauled into court for disturbing the peace.
"How do you plead?" the Judge asked.
"Not guilty!" replied the accused.
"How can you plead 'not guilty. You're drunker than a skunk," the judge said.
"Well, you see, it's like this, your honor. I was only following orders. When I got into town, there was this big sign that said, DRINK CANADA DRY.
And that's what I did."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the depressed proctologist?
He was feeling down in the dumps.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I noticed my husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his ample stomach.
Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this maneuver, I quipped, "I don't think that is going to help much, hon."
"Sure it does," he said. "How else can I can see the numbers?"