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View Full Version : How many 5 year-olds could you take out?



Seedler
04-10-2006, 03:45 AM
Time is ripe for this shit again:

The question: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?

The specifics:

- You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.
- You are not allowed to touch a wall.
- When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."
- I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
- The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.
* The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.

I set my magic number at 40 (30 originally, but I've been working out), but upon reflection, I think I could take on a few more. How many could you take on?

tesco
04-10-2006, 03:52 AM
I don't think it's as easy as you think it is...
Maybe 15-20.

thewizeard
04-10-2006, 05:16 AM
it's a non starter for me...knocking kids unconcious...

DanB
04-10-2006, 10:06 AM
Does beating a five year old up make you feel hard?

Cheese
04-10-2006, 10:26 AM
I think you're being a tad optimistic with 40. I'd say about 10 would be a struggle.

It would be quite funny to watch some Canadian get beaten up by a bunch of 5 year-old fatties though.

DanB
04-10-2006, 10:32 AM
The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.


Is being a healthy American a discernable abnormality then?

Virtualbody1234
04-10-2006, 10:33 AM
Zero. It's sick and cruel.

manker
04-10-2006, 10:46 AM
I half-watched a Jackie Chan film on BBC1 last night, so I'm feeling kinda tough.

Put me down for 45 :smilie4:

Barbarossa
04-10-2006, 10:51 AM
5 year olds are quite small and puny. Even American ones, as they have only taken in 5 years worth of saturated fat. I reckon I could take down as many as you could throw at me, until I got hungry lyke. :dabs:

Cheese
04-10-2006, 10:54 AM
I'd disguise some Mexican midget wrestlers as children to show you all up.

Seedler
04-10-2006, 11:33 AM
Does beating a five year old up make you feel hard?

No, I don't jack off to 5 yr olds if that's what you mean:P



I think you're being a tad optimistic with 40. I'd say about 10 would be a struggle.

It would be quite funny to watch some Canadian get beaten up by a bunch of 5 year-old fatties though.

Nah, I'll like pick up one of the kid and start swinging him around. I'll use him as a weapon, so I stand with 40.




The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.


Is being a healthy American a discernable abnormality then?

I guess so, seeing that over like 2/3 of Americans are overweight, and 1/3 are like obese.

But no, when I said Americans I meant well-nourished, but not fat. None of those skinny African fuckers.



Zero. It's sick and cruel.

Ah your view hasn't changed from 1/2 a year ago. You said almost the same thing::no2:




You're asking me to knock-out, unconscious, 5 year old boys and girls with the possibility of permanent injury or even death.

I want no part in that.

Sicko!



I half-watched a Jackie Chan film on BBC1 last night, so I'm feeling kinda tough.

Put me down for 45 :smilie4:

45? What are you gonna do? Spam them to death?:lol:

manker
04-10-2006, 11:43 AM
I half-watched a Jackie Chan film on BBC1 last night, so I'm feeling kinda tough.

Put me down for 45 :smilie4:

45? What are you gonna do? Spam them to death?:lol:No.

I'm going to use a roundhouse kick as a means of offence and a dragon-punch for close quarter combat.

If I'm in danger of getting overwhelmed at any point, I'll run up a wall and use my momentum to back-flip onto the menagerie of toddlers while spinning my torso to deliver a multiple hammer-like blows to the back of their little necks.

That ought to sort 'em :smilie4:

Seedler
04-10-2006, 12:01 PM
45? What are you gonna do? Spam them to death?:lol:No.

I'm going to use a roundhouse kick as a means of offence and a dragon-punch for close quarter combat.

If I'm in danger of getting overwhelmed at any point, I'll run up a wall and use my momentum to back-flip onto the menagerie of toddlers while spinning my torso to deliver a multiple hammer-like blows to the back of their little necks.

That ought to sort 'em :smilie4:

:no2: Too much Jackie Chen...

DanB
04-10-2006, 12:31 PM
No, I don't jack off to 5 yr olds if that's what you mean:P

No what I meant was does it make you feel big and tough :huh:

fkdup74
04-10-2006, 12:52 PM
No, I don't jack off to 5 yr olds if that's what you mean:P

No what I meant was does it make you feel big and tough :huh:

I think Seedler is deeply disturbed........

IncurableChevy
04-11-2006, 04:59 PM
I watched a five year old take out his dad on the beach yesterday. :D One good headbutt to the bollocks as said dad tried to part him from a beachball that wasn't his saw dad reduced if not to unconscious then a state near to it. Or possibly just a wish to be unconscious. :sick:

So... put that one at the front of the queue with enough motive and I'm guessing you'd all be curled up in the fetal position begging for mercy within seconds... :ph34r:

Seedler
04-13-2006, 02:18 AM
No what I meant was does it make you feel big and tough :huh:

I think Seedler is deeply disturbed........

...that was a joke. That's why I finished the sentence with a :lol: smilie and not a :naughty: smilie.