Three Fags.

[manker]

I'm sorry to disappoint the melee but I'm actually talking about cigarettes.


I've three ciggies left in the box and I won't be buying any more. I'll probably smoke one now and have a couple when I'm reading in the kitchen later - with a cuppa for extra specialness.

:cry:

I think CrabGirl is with me on this and two of the girls in my office are also giving up tomorrow, so I've got a bit of moral support. I decided against the hypnotherapy this time, since it didn't work last time.

I'm going down the same route as sir Jeremy Clarkson and popping into the chemist tomorrow and getting some foul tasting, industrial strength, nicotine fortified, expensive as feck chewing gum.

[Proper Bo]

he got a koenigsegg (sp?), not gum:no:

I've just finished me last marlboro.

[manker]

Serious. He got the gum.

I read it in his column in the Sun. So it must be true :smilie4:

[Mr JP Fugley]

It's not that difficult to give up, as long as you want to.

Think of this, if you smoke manlet is twice as likely to also smoke. FACT.

[manker]

Bollocks, got the edit watermark in the top post :dabs:


It was because I misspelled 'melee' and noticed a fraction after I hit the link to take me back to the lounge, if you were wondering.

[Proper Bo]

I got something similar from the shop just before, but instead of chewing them, you smoke them. :smilie4:

[Proper Bo]

check the hawt new sig btw:naughty:

[Mr JP Fugley]

Serious. He got the gum.

I read it in his column in the Sun. So it must be true :smilie4:
The gum works.

Eight years since I sucked on a fag.

[manker]

It's not that difficult to give up, as long as you want to.

Think of this, if you smoke manlet is twice as likely to also smoke. FACT.
Yeah, that's why I'm doing it now - before he gets old enough to realise why it's always fucking freezing yet smelling of some gay air freshener in the kitchen.

[manker]

check the hawt new sig btw:naughty:
:glag:

[Mr JP Fugley]

It's not that difficult to give up, as long as you want to.

Think of this, if you smoke manlet is twice as likely to also smoke. FACT.
Yeah, that's why I'm doing it now - before he gets old enough to realise why it's always fucking freezing yet smelling of some gay air freshener in the kitchen.
I stopped because I wanted to dance at number one daughter's wedding. I didn't want to be the sad fuck who everyone felt sorry for because he couldn't even stand up, never mind dance.

Then I realized that there was a reasonable prospect that I wouldn't even be there, never mind dance like a sad old bald man. That sort of put the pleasure of smoking a cigarette into perspective for me.

My life's ambition is now to embarrass my daughter, by dancing like an old man on her wedding day. I feel blessed that she will look on me lovingly while I am doing it.

[Proper Bo]

Quitting smoking just to be a cunt, I like it:smilie4:

[manker]

Yeah, that's why I'm doing it now - before he gets old enough to realise why it's always fucking freezing yet smelling of some gay air freshener in the kitchen.
I stopped because I wanted to dance at number one daughter's wedding. I didn't want to be the sad fuck who everyone felt sorry for because he couldn't even stand up, never mind dance.

Then I realized that there was a reasonable prospect that I wouldn't even be there, never mind dance like a sad old bald man. That sort of put the pleasure of smoking a cigarette into perspective for me.

My life's ambition is now to embarrass my daughter, by dancing like an old man on her wedding day. I feel blessed that she will look on me lovingly while I am doing it.An honourable sentiment indeed.

I've just had enough of smoking now, I know it's bad and I know it stinks but that was tempered with the feeling I've always had that I would give it up at some point.

That feeling kind of went when I failed to give up the last time so I'm doubly determined to do it this time.

Just worried about lapses in the pub, really :ermm:

[Mr JP Fugley]

I stopped because I wanted to dance at number one daughter's wedding. I didn't want to be the sad fuck who everyone felt sorry for because he couldn't even stand up, never mind dance.

Then I realized that there was a reasonable prospect that I wouldn't even be there, never mind dance like a sad old bald man. That sort of put the pleasure of smoking a cigarette into perspective for me.

My life's ambition is now to embarrass my daughter, by dancing like an old man on her wedding day. I feel blessed that she will look on me lovingly while I am doing it.An honourable sentiment indeed.

No, a selfish one but thanks for speaking well of me.

[manker]

As an aside, I anxiously await someone else posting in this thread given its title and the only people to have posted in it thus far.

:dabs:

[Proper Bo]

:lol: :earl:

[Fromagepas]

C'mon the hoops.

That doesn't really work, does it.

[manker]

C'mon the hoops.I fecking pwn at smoke rings :cry:

[Fromagepas]

C'mon the hoops.I fecking pwn at smoke rings :cry:
:lol:

[manker]

Twelve hours since my last cigarette and things aren't really going too well. I haven't smoked tho' :smilie4:

The chemist near me only had the 2mg chewing gum so I decided to go for patches instead. I have to use these ones for 6 weeks and then weaker patches for 2 weeks and then the for the last two weeks I reckon the patches they'll be making me pay fifteen quid for are more or less placibos.

They make me feel all tingly :dabs:

I'm eating loads of normal chewing gum and drinking a shedload of tea.


I'll be using this thread as a whinge-blog.

[Barbarossa]

I'll be using this thread as a whinge-blog.

Why? Are you off work for 8 and a half weeks? :ermm:

[manker]

I'll be using this thread as a whinge-blog.

Why? Are you off work for 8 and a half weeks? :ermm:
:lol: :lol:

Quality sig, btw.

[Gripper]

Good luck with it.
It didn't take long for 3 fags to come out of the woodwork did it :)

[Cheese]

Good luck. Get the patches so you can have the trippy dreams, the dreams will be most likely about zombies. :sage:

[manker]

Cheers, lads :D

Just realised that after I have an appointment, I always used to smoke - just scrabbled about for ages in drawers looking for one, before I remembered that I don't smoke anymore. I've done that on three occasions today.

In other news:

There's a variety of Wrigley's Airwaves called Black Mint.

V. Nice they are, not as nice as a ciggie but rather good all the same.

[100%]

good move & good on you.

[manker]

Thanks, zed.

Day two and last night wasn't so bad. I was in on my own with me lad for most of the evening, so that kept me occupied.

I dreamed of smoking tho' :dabs:

[DorisInsinuate]

Thanks, zed.

Day two and last night wasn't so bad. I was in on my own with me lad for most of the evening, so that kept me occupied.

I dreamed of smoking tho' :dabs:
When your kid's older are you going to teach him to smoke? Kids today just look like complete gimps when they smoke, because their dads didn't teach them how to do it right.

[manker]

Thanks, zed.

Day two and last night wasn't so bad. I was in on my own with me lad for most of the evening, so that kept me occupied.

I dreamed of smoking tho' :dabs:
When your kid's older are you going to teach him to smoke? Kids today just look like complete gimps when they smoke, because their dads didn't teach them how to do it right.I think if a Dad sees his kid smoking cigarettes, it's mandatory for them to lock the kid in a cupboard and make them smoke ciggie after ciggie til they're sick and so never try them again.

The same principle also applies with other stuff, my Dad caught me drinking cider, locked me in a cupboard and wouldn't let me out til I'd finished a whole crate of Diamond White.

It could have been worse, my sister was caught chasing the dragon :no:

[CrabGirl]

The patches work well, although they itch like fuckery. I, to my shame, have not yet gone cold turkey, although I have the patches all ready. I've had a cunt of a week so far, beginning in half my house being ripped to pieces, and culminating thus far in being taxed 22% on my paltry wages because the tax office can't get to grips with someone being employed after being self-employed.

Manker, best of luck, and when you do finally dare to go to the pub, warn all your smoker friends not to give you cigs, and also that you will be a complete and utter moody fucktard.

[Guillaume]

Manker, best of luck, and when you do finally dare to go to the pub, warn all your smoker friends not to give you cigs, and also that you will be a complete and utter moody fucktard.
Not to mention, you'll beg for cigs like a starving dog when drunk.

[CrabGirl]

Manker, best of luck, and when you do finally dare to go to the pub, warn all your smoker friends not to give you cigs, and also that you will be a complete and utter moody fucktard.
Not to mention, you'll beg for cigs like a starving dog when drunk.

And hate your mates when they refuse you.

[Guillaume]

Not to mention, you'll beg for cigs like a starving dog when drunk.

And hate your mates when they refuse you.
Yep. Quitting smoking = fun, fun, fun. :01:

[Cheese]

I had the same trouble when I gave up killing midgets.

[CrabGirl]

I had the same trouble when I gave up killing midgets.

You've not given up. I'm still watching my back. :unsure:

[Mr. Mulder]

:dorolf:

[manker]

The patches work well, although they itch like fuckery. I, to my shame, have not yet gone cold turkey, although I have the patches all ready. I've had a cunt of a week so far, beginning in half my house being ripped to pieces, and culminating thus far in being taxed 22% on my paltry wages because the tax office can't get to grips with someone being employed after being self-employed.

Manker, best of luck, and when you do finally dare to go to the pub, warn all your smoker friends not to give you cigs, and also that you will be a complete and utter moody fucktard.Ask your employers for a P46 form, fill it in to the effect that your current job (with them) is your main job and take it direct to their accounts dept. That should sort the BR tax rate out - and get you a nice refund of the tax you've overpaid since you started.

I got horribly drunk yesterday but luckily it was on a mini-bus where smoking wasn't allowed :01:

So I didn't smoke at all, and haven't since Sunday night. FA Cup final day on Saturday tho' and I'm off to a pub-type environment Friday with teh missus to watch some Bill Hicks tribute thing - she won't let me smoke but I bet some cunt of a mate will keep offering me ciggies til I accept on Saturday :dabs:


What's happened to your house?

[Guillaume]

Ask your employers for a P46 form, fill it in to the effect that your current job (with them) is your main job and take it direct to their accounts dept. That should sort the BR tax rate out - and get you a nice refund of the tax you've overpaid since you started.
Making stuff up is teh evil. :no:

Congrats on your first few days smoke-free.
Did you bite manlet's head off yet?

[manker]

Ask your employers for a P46 form, fill it in to the effect that your current job (with them) is your main job and take it direct to their accounts dept. That should sort the BR tax rate out - and get you a nice refund of the tax you've overpaid since you started.
Making stuff up is teh evil. :no:

Congrats on your first few days smoke-free.
Did you bite manlet's head off yet?
I've been surprisingly even tempered :smilie4:

Patches are teh roka - and at half past one, I get to put a new one on!

[Proper Bo]

rly? hope that's going well. I think i'm going to have a tab:smilie4:

[Proper Bo]

I = cuntage of the highest order:01:

[manker]

Sir, your cuntishness is only superseded by your predictability.

[Proper Bo]

thanks, gay.:lookaroun

[Proper Bo]

http://img216.imageshack.us/img216/3396/image0gv.gif

Predict that, cock boy!

[Guillaume]

Patches are teh roka - and at half past one, I get to put a new one on!
Erm... Huzzah? :unsure:

[manker]

Get the patches so you can have the trippy dreams, the dreams will be most likely about zombies. :sage:I dreamed last night that I went beach fishing with Wayne Rooney. We used maggots instead of ragworm but still pwned the competition and won some receptacle that looked suspiciously like the Jules Rimet trophy :smilie4:

I was doing the baiting up, casting and reeling in but he was claiming all of the accolades and got to shout at people who, upon seeing how well we were doing, tried to steal our bait.

I didn't mind :happy:

[manker]

http://img216.imageshack.us/img216/3396/image0gv.gif

Predict that, cock boy!
Feckin' quality!

You must weally wub me to make such a thing - I was only away for a day :wub:

[Proper Bo]

rodoff:dabs:

[manker]

:schnauz:

[Proper Bo]

I made it while eating the jam you sent me:lookaroun

[manker]

Did I mention that my Mam is buying the patches for me :schnauz:


I was down there last week going; "Fifteen quid a week on patches! I might as well carry on smoking, tis only marginally more expensive".

She took the hint, bless.

[Proper Bo]

silly bugger:no:

[Gripper]

Your mum>my mum :(

[DorisInsinuate]

http://img81.imageshack.us/img81/5058/image0gv4pw.gif

[manker]

:lol: :01:

I'll keep them in til teh sig nazis notice.

[DorisInsinuate]

I think I broke it, it's out of sync with the other ones :mellow:

[manker]

I put the patch on my left arm instead of the right at 1:30 today - it's itching like a bitch so hopefully it will come to life and chew me off like a bitch.

[Fromagepas]

Day two and last night wasn't so bad. I was in on my own with me lad for most of the evening, so that kept me occupied.

Sorry about the excesive harshness old bean, I forgot you were de-fagging.

[manker]

Day two and last night wasn't so bad. I was in on my own with me lad for most of the evening, so that kept me occupied.

Sorry about the excesive harshness old bean, I forgot you were de-fagging.
It was funny as feck!

I was going to make a fred but didn't know whether you'd want people to know of your phone secks shame.

[Fromagepas]

Sorry about the excesive harshness old bean, I forgot you were de-fagging.
It was funny as feck!

I was going to make a fred but didn't know whether you'd want people to know of your phone secks shame.
I won't spoil your fagblog by detailing it, however please feel free to start another fred. I would be interested to see your perspective anyway. It's a Rabbie Burns thing.

You don't start enough freds anyway.

Oh and it directly led to P-Bo rodding me in private. True story.

[Proper Bo]

Oh and it directly led to P-Bo rodding me in private. True story.

:schnauz:

did you pretend to be from the sexual health clinic on t'phone?:smilie4:

[Mr JP Fugley]

Oh and it directly led to P-Bo rodding me in private. True story.

:schnauz:

did you pretend to be from the sexual health clinic on t'phone?:smilie4:
I shall not spoil Mr so called manker's rendition of events as he perceived them.

Suffice it to say, your subsequent rodding of me was fuelled by my feeling of endebted to you and as such being more emo than had previously been thought possible.

The fact that you took advantage speaks volumes for your general view on humankind.

To think that this all began with the milk of human kindness. For shame.

[Proper Bo]

:lol: :earl:

[manker]

I've not thought about smoking since before I watched the footie but then I read the 'JP is harsher than a mofo' thread and Nikki was talking about blowing smoke in my ear.

Now I want one :emo:

[Proper Bo]

you want an ear?:blink:

[manker]

:dabs:

[manker]

Sacre Coeur!

It's quarter past eleven and this is the first time today that I've thought about having a cigarette.

Not gonna tho' :happy:

[Proper Bo]

I've quit* tabs.




*ran out of

[manker]

I'm trying to hide the fact that I've given up smoking from the missus. Fuck knows why 'cos she doesn't smoke and will be really pleased. I just didn't tell her on Monday and since then for some unknown reason, I've been trying to hide my nicotine patch from her.

:blink:

We're going out tonight so I guess she'll realise since I won't be smoking.

The thing is, she's probably seen the patch anyhow cos I don't wear 'owt to bed ... she's just not mentioned it. Plus I haven't been nipping out the patio for a ciggie. AND I'd already told her that I planned to give up this week.

Nicotine patches make you mental, FYI.

Still haven't smoked, btw.

[Guillaume]

This gives you the perfect opporunity to do something really annoying that only teh females usually do.
Berating someone for lack of support over a trifle matter FTW.

[manker]

This gives you the perfect opporunity to do something really annoying that only teh females usually do.
Berating someone for lack of support over a trifle matter FTW.
:lol: :lol:

A woman, any woman, probably would do that given I'd already mentioned that I would be giving up this week - but the thought hadn't even transpired to take place in my mind.

Odd how it occured to you, Mr. so called Guillaume :smilie4:

[Guillaume]

Did I finally blow up my cover? :unsure:

Humbugs. :fist:

[Barbarossa]

You thought you still had an unblown cover? :o

[Guillaume]

http://img85.imageshack.us/img85/3693/fantomas4sa.jpg
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha!

[manker]

I'm off out for my first visit to a pub since the beforetime when I smoked.

Hrm.

[Mr JP Fugley]

Tell your mates not to fag you up. Tell them you really mean it and that when you ask later they should say non.

[manker]

I had one cigarette last night :dabs:

On the positive side, teh missus said it stopped me being a moody self-obsessed cunt (paraphrased). Musta been magic or something.

Off out on an all dayer now to watch the Hammers stuff the scousers. It doesn't bode well for non-smokage but I'll give it a go, loike.

Later :dabs:

[DorisInsinuate]

I had one cigarette last night :dabs:

On the positive side, teh missus said it stopped me being a moody self-obsessed cunt (paraphrased). Musta been magic or something.

Off out on an all dayer now to watch the Hammers stuff the scousers. It doesn't bode well for non-smokage but I'll give it a go, loike.

Later :dabs:
Pffffffft, there's no point trying now, you might aswell give up, chuck yourself off a bridge.

[Guillaume]

I was going to post something about how you are a weak-willed wanker,but Doris did it so much better.

[manker]

Only smoked one yesterday too. I'm claiming a moral victory.

[DorisInsinuate]

You get an extend 'pfft' for that.

Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft.

[Guillaume]

Only smoked one yesterday too. I'm claiming a moral victory.
Pussy. :snooty:

[Fromagepas]

manker,

Your doing well.

You should try stopping smoking now.

[manker]

My Mam says I'm doing well :snooty:

[Fromagepas]

My Mam says I'm doing well :snooty:
She also thinks your pretty tho'

[manker]

My Mam says I'm doing well :snooty:
She also thinks your pretty tho'
Are you calling my Mam a poof.

[Fromagepas]

She also thinks your pretty tho'
Are you calling my Mam a poof.
No, not at all.

Please accept my apologies if it came across that way.

I'm sure she's a wonderful person with many great attributes.

Not that her being a poof would make her a bad person.

[manker]

I knew it would be like law that you'd have to fall for that Mam-rod :happy:

[Fromagepas]

I knew it would be like law that you'd have to fall for that Mam-rod :happy:
Oh no, silly me. I really believed you thought I had called your Mam a poof and had taken offence at it.

Or is that the rod.

[manker]

I knew it would be like law that you'd have to fall for that Mam-rod :happy:
Oh no, silly me. I really believed you thought I had called your Mam a poof and had taken offence at it.

Or is that the rod.
Yup.

[Fromagepas]

Oh no, silly me. I really believed you thought I had called your Mam a poof and had taken offence at it.

Or is that the rod.
Yup.
Oh, right.

Blast, I wish that had dawned on me at the time.

[infamousalbo101]

i love my newports

[manker]

Only two cigarettes in seven days is quite an achievement.

Time goes really slow for you non-smokers, eh? It seems like I started this thread a month ago :dabs:

[Guillaume]

Only two cigarettes in seven days is quite an achievement.
Poof. :snooty:

[manker]

Only two cigarettes in seven days is quite an achievement.
Poof. :snooty:
If that's what you think then you'll be surprised to know that I was recently granted Jedi status because of the mind-control involved with not buying a packet of Marlboro at the Spar after fortyleven pints of Tetley Extra Smooth on Saturday evening.

:smilie4:

[Guillaume]

No wonder the Jedi council has fallen then. :geek:

Try quitting without smoking one every other and patches and gums and other ghey stuff. :01:

[Cheese]

I had to wear a patch yesterday because Crabgirl said I was getting grumpy from nicotine withdrawal after smoking all day on Saturday. But, if you have only smoked two cigarettes in seven days and have been out drinking then that is pretty damned good. Like Steven Gerrard good. :sage:

Heh, heh....withdrawal.

[manker]

Nobody can be as good as Steven Gerrard. He's not even human and I'm pretty damn sure he isn't really scouse :smilie4:

[manker]

Try quitting without smoking one every other and patches and gums and other ghey stuff. :01: Ermm ... why :unsure:

[Cheese]

I'm pretty damn sure he isn't really scouse :smilie4:
Are you saying that he is like Tarzan, Mowgli or Superman in that he was raised by wild animals but is in fact from superior stock? I agree.

[manker]

I'm pretty damn sure he isn't really scouse :smilie4:
Are you saying that he is like Tarzan, Mowgli or Superman in that he was raised by wild animals? I agree.
:lol: :lol: :earl:

It hadn't occured but I'm fucking well sticking to it.

[manker]

Fuck's sake.

I'd more or less forgotten that I'd given up smoking, not posted here with a whinge for a few days.

Patches rawk.

I'm off out to the pub after work today, if I get it organised, to watch Arsenal spawn victory against the gallant Spaniards ... I'll try to go without smoking at all, that's right, even in the pub :smilie4:

[Gripper]

:cheers: Puff, betcha:D

[Chip Monk]

Fuck's sake.

I'd more or less forgotten that I'd given up smoking, not posted here with a whinge for a few days.

Patches rawk.

I'm off out to the pub after work today, if I get it organised, to watch Arsenal spawn victory against the gallant Spaniards ... I'll try to go without smoking at all, that's right, even in the pub :smilie4:
Well remembered, I'm sure you've been planning a good night out to watch the game for ages.

I think I may have a wee sherry myself and watch it.

C'Mon the Barca.

[manker]

The Arsenal fans behind me were right cunts.

I started off not really minding who won but as soon as I heard one of them speak, Barca winning suddenly became important to me.

Didn't smoke all night and refused a few tokes of a spliff :01:

[Chip Monk]

The Arsenal fans behind me were right cunts.

I started off not really minding who won but as soon as I heard one of them speak, Barca winning suddenly became important to me.

Didn't smoke all night and refused a few tokes of a spliff :01:
Well done, on all counts.

[DorisInsinuate]

w00t you.

All football fans are pissants.

Piss off and die to be honest.

[manker]

Thanks again.

I don't know why but after breezing through the week, I've found yesterday and today really difficult. I used to stuff half emptypackets of Marlboro in and around my office and sometimes in my house too, in case I ran out. I keep finding them and have to throw them out.

I think they're all done now but that last one (five minutes ago) was really wanting to be smoked. If I hadn't sent Bo all the lighters that were in my office, I might have smoked them :o

:o :o :o

Meh, I think water got under my patch this morning in the shower and washed a lot of the precious nicotine from under it away from my wanton upper-arm. Maybe that's it.

I now haven't smoked at all for seven days and have only had two cigarettes in thirteen days.


:dabs:

[manker]

I didn't re-read that so if it's gibberish, it's gibberish ... meh.

[Chip Monk]

Why are you working on a Saturday, the banks aren't even open?

Anyway, well done with the fag thing, the hardest bit is over and you now know that you don't need to smoke.

If you feel like one and think meh I'll smoke if I feel like it, just member that manlet will be twice as likely to take it up if you smoke.

[DorisInsinuate]

You should keep hold of your lighters, Ray Mears said so. They come in handy for all kinds of stuff like making dinner, and stopping bullets from penetrating your heart.

[manker]

Why are you working on a Saturday, the banks aren't even open?To be honest, I came in to get away from teh missus - who is currently killing me with kindess. Both her and my Mam are forcefeeding me because I casually remarked that the only time where I truly don't want to smoke is when I eat. I'm getting molly-coddled.

Had to turn my phone off too. Women :dry:










Love them really :lookaroun

[Chip Monk]

Why are you working on a Saturday, the banks aren't even open?To be honest, I came in to get away from teh missus - who is currently killing me with kindess. Both her and my Mam are forcefeeding me because I casually remarked that the only time where I truly don't want to smoke is when I eat. I'm getting molly-coddled.

Had to turn my phone off too. Women :dry:










Love them really :lookaroun

Ah, you're a half-wit with an eating disorder.

Cross-thread references ftw.

[manker]

I think I called Darthy a jacko sycophant in about four different threads yesterday.

Well, it was more trolling than anything but I'd had enough of his jibber jabber.

[Chip Monk]

:lol::earl:

"jibber jabber" is a cool phrase, it's one of those things that sounds like the thing it is.

[manker]

it's one of those things that sounds like the thing it is.
They should make up a word for that, just one word to encompass that whole sentence. That way, people wouldn't have to keep saying 'one of those things that sounds like the thing it is'.

What do you think. I reckon it could catch on :naughty:

[Chip Monk]

it's one of those things that sounds like the thing it is.
They should make up a word for that, just one word to encompass that whole sentence. That way, people wouldn't have to keep saying 'one of those things that sounds like the thing it is'.

What do you think. I reckon it could catch on :naughty:
Nah there's just not the call for it, how often do you hear people say 'one of those things that sounds like the thing it is'?

That's probably an unfair question, you work in a bank in Wales, so you probably hear it quite a lot.

[manker]

They should make up a word for that, just one word to encompass that whole sentence. That way, people wouldn't have to keep saying 'one of those things that sounds like the thing it is'.

What do you think. I reckon it could catch on :naughty:
Nah there's just not the call for it, how often do you hear people say 'one of those things that sounds like the thing it is'?

That's probably an unfair question, you work in a bank in Wales, so you probably hear it quite a lot.Ignoring that baffling last sentence for a minute (:lol:), What if we extend your definition of this proposed new word to be 'one of those things which suggests, or puts one in mind of, the thing it is'.

Surely, people everywhere would be crying out for this.

There's a murmur it could be a buzz word.

[Chip Monk]

Hold on a minute Peter. You could be on to something there.

[manker]

Zomfg, I've put on a stone already.

According to the missus, that is. I'm a bloke so I don't use weighing scales.

[Cheese]

Zomfg, I've put on a stone already.

According to the missus, that is. I'm a bloke so I don't use weighing scales.

I've put on weight since giving up (well, you know, half-giving up) and am now abstaining from Rustler's brugers and Mars bars in a bid to regain my slender figure.

Though, I might just go and catch some tropical disease that makes me lose all my wieght at once due to constant vomiting and pooing.

[manker]

Zomfg, I've put on a stone already.

According to the missus, that is. I'm a bloke so I don't use weighing scales.

I've put on weight since giving up (well, you know, half-giving up) and am now abstaining from Rustler's brugers and Mars bars in a bid to regain my slender figure.

Though, I might just go and catch some tropical disease that makes me lose all my wieght at once due to constant vomiting and pooing.
I was going to start playing twice the amount of five-a-side games per week as I normally play - but that tropical disease idea is a winnar.

Btw, I read somewhere that if you're pooing and vomiting at the same time, it's better to sit on the toilet since projectile vomit is easier to direct than liquid faeces :smilie4:

[manker]

Unless you're Tubgirl, of course.

[manker]

Feck, just lying naked in the bath is an option too.

Why fight it.

[Guillaume]

According to the missus, that is. I'm a bloke so I don't use weighing scales.
Excuses, excuses. Lardass :dry:

[Barbarossa]

Zomfg, I've put on a stone already.

According to the missus, that is. I'm a bloke so I don't use weighing scales.

Her on top from now on then :naughty:

[manker]

Just joined my mate's team that'll play summer league 5-a-side soccer so I don't turn out to be as lardy as Bo.

They've been training twice a week for a month while I've done nowt since Xmas. Tonight at t'kickabout, I'll be the most unfit bloke there :dabs:

[manker]

I almost died at soccer last night.

Anyway, my patch got sweated off during the game and I haven't put another one on since. I'm hungry too since I haven't eaten yet today.

I could eat a packet of Marlboro atm :dabs:

[Chip Monk]

Drink water, of time the body sends a message that it is dehydrated and we can't tell the difference coz' we just can't so we think we're hungy. Drinking of the water has several positive effects;

1. It removes dehydration, which is bad for you.

2. It fills you up a bit, needing less of the food.

3. It flushes out your cawk, removing unwanted limescale.

There are others but those are the main ones.

[manker]

Cheers, JP. I'm not one for unadulterated council pop but I do like that poofy Evian flavoured water so might get some of that this afternoon.

For now, I've decided to go for Coca Cola with Lime. Regular of course.

[Proper Bo]

you love the cok

[Proper Bo]

now there's a typo in that previous post, someone feel free to correct it:smilie4:

[Guillaume]

now there's a typo in that previous post, someone feel free to correct it:smilie4:
There's more than one, rodtard.

[Proper Bo]

:dabs:

[Chip Monk]

Cheers, JP. I'm not one for unadulterated council pop but I do like that poofy Evian flavoured water so might get some of that this afternoon.

For now, I've decided to go for Coca Cola with Lime. Regular of course.
Careful when you buy water to read the ingredients, that volcano one for example has as much sugar as cokey cola. Folk think they're giving their weans healthy water, but it's actually flat coke.

True story.

[sArA]

Zomfg, I've put on a stone already.

According to the missus, that is. I'm a bloke so I don't use weighing scales.

Wtf have you been eating to put on 2lbs per day (average)....

doughnuts?