baccyman
05-08-2006, 12:55 PM
The teenager was developing rapidly, so her mother thought it about time that she understood the facts of life.
"Liza," she began, "I think it would be nice if we had a little chat about how life is formed. As you know, a baby grows in a lady's tummy and..."
"It might be interesting to hear you tell it, Mom," interrupted the daughter, "but what I really want to know is how to fake an orgasm."
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What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes!
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Why are tornadoes & blondes so much alike?
At first there is a lot of sucking & blowing then you lose your house!
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The Italian man says... Last week, my wife and I had great sex. I rubbed her body all over with olive oil. We made passionate love, and she screamed for five full minutes at the end.
The Frenchman boasts... Last week, when my wife and I had sex. I rubbed her body all over with butter. We then made passionate love, and she screamed for fifteen minutes.
The Jewish man says... Well, last week, my wife and I also had sex. I rubbed her body all over with schmaltz (chicken fat). We made love, and she screamed for over six hours.
The Italian and Frenchman were stunned. They asked, What could you have possibly done to make your wife scream for six hours?
The Jewish man says... I wiped my hands on the bedspread!!!
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Two hookers were standing on the side of the road waiting for some business, when one hooker said, “It smells like cock…its going to be a busy day.”
The other hooker replies, “No I just burped.”
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Did you hear about the blonde who:
Had more on her body than on her mind?
Took an hour to cook Minute Rice?
Went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker?
Brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?
Thought Moby Dick was a venereal disease?
Thought that intercourse was a state highway?
"Liza," she began, "I think it would be nice if we had a little chat about how life is formed. As you know, a baby grows in a lady's tummy and..."
"It might be interesting to hear you tell it, Mom," interrupted the daughter, "but what I really want to know is how to fake an orgasm."
---------------------------------------------------------
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes!
-------------------------------------------------------
Why are tornadoes & blondes so much alike?
At first there is a lot of sucking & blowing then you lose your house!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
The Italian man says... Last week, my wife and I had great sex. I rubbed her body all over with olive oil. We made passionate love, and she screamed for five full minutes at the end.
The Frenchman boasts... Last week, when my wife and I had sex. I rubbed her body all over with butter. We then made passionate love, and she screamed for fifteen minutes.
The Jewish man says... Well, last week, my wife and I also had sex. I rubbed her body all over with schmaltz (chicken fat). We made love, and she screamed for over six hours.
The Italian and Frenchman were stunned. They asked, What could you have possibly done to make your wife scream for six hours?
The Jewish man says... I wiped my hands on the bedspread!!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Two hookers were standing on the side of the road waiting for some business, when one hooker said, “It smells like cock…its going to be a busy day.”
The other hooker replies, “No I just burped.”
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the blonde who:
Had more on her body than on her mind?
Took an hour to cook Minute Rice?
Went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker?
Brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?
Thought Moby Dick was a venereal disease?
Thought that intercourse was a state highway?