Scottish weddings

[Skweeky]

I have to go to one on Saturday :fear:

Is there anything I should know about? It's been 12 years since I went to a wedding. We don't really do that anymore in Belgium, us being all continental like.

[Lilmiss]

Wear something with big pockets so you can stash the leftover buffet in them. :smilie4:

[CELEBS]

thye have a haggis orgy at the end of it. pretty much like a belgian wedding but with haggis stains on your cawk.

[JPaul]

I have to go to one on Saturday :fear:

Is there anything I should know about? It's been 12 years since I went to a wedding. We don't really do that anymore in Belgium, us being all continental like.
You'll need to learn "The Slosh" before a Scottish wedding.

[Skweeky]

I suppose what I really want to know... is the drink free?

edit: I have a feeling I'll regret this... but what's 'The Slosh' ?

[CELEBS]

and be prepared to dance to dexys midnight runners singing "cum on eileen she takes it up the shitter"

[CELEBS]

the slosh is a dance where you clap your hands under your legs and generally look like a tit. last comment does not affect female relations, cos they always look like tits when dancing. and the drink will not be free.

[Skweeky]

Shite

[JPaul]

the slosh is a dance where you clap your hands under your legs and generally look like a tit.
It is however mandatory for the burds.

With the matriarchal figures looking on smiling approvingly. Remembering by-gone shags in country parks.

If you do not take part it will be considered a great affront to the Bride and Groom.

[Skweeky]

I might have developed a sore back by then.

With all the outdoors shagging and that

[JPaul]

I might have developed a sore back by then.

With all the outdoors shagging and that
There will be wummin with replacement hips and rickets doing it.

Your post coital back-ache will not be considered a reasonable excuse.

[Skweeky]

Is there any way out of this?

[JPaul]

Is there any way out of this?


Of course there is, fake your own death.

Short of that, learn "The Slosh" and accept you will have to do it in public. If this is your first public appearance with the hun bf expect particular scrutiny.

[CELEBS]

also expect to spit at the cross and slaughter lambs to their pagan gods.

[j2k4]

Logic would seem to dictate you are exempt from accumulating any haggis-stains on your cawk, though.

My guess, anyway. :huh:

[Skweeky]

The chap in question is a Celtic fan and Catholic too...
I doubt there will be any spitting at the cross.

My bf is refusing to go to church, He says he's scared of catholic masses since we went to a funeral once and I knew the thing by heart :lol: ( in Dutch, but it would be more of a sin not to say anything because I didn't know the words in English right??)

I quite like haggis though...

[JPaul]

also expect to spit at the cross and slaughter lambs to their pagan gods.
:glag::earl:

They haven't done that for weeks. However they should be allowed to, because it is part of their proud heritage. In fact we should all join in and make it into some sort of McMardi Gras.

[Biggles]

Might be an idea to learn a reel or two. Not so that you can dazzle them with your cultural adeptness but purely in order to survive the dance with all your limbs attached.

Note: reels are excellent for sweating the alcohol out and thus increase ones drinking capability.

[JPaul]

The chap in question is a Celtic fan and Catholic too...

Can I just say it's awesome the order you chose to place them in. Denoting that the former does not pre-suppose the later.

[JPaul]

Might be an idea to learn a reel or two. Not so that you can dazzle them with your cultural adeptness but purely in order to survive the dance with all your limbs attached.

Note: reels are excellent for sweating the alcohol out and thus increase ones drinking capability.
That's where you've been going wrong right mate. The reel sweats out the watter, making the alcohol more concentrated.

[Skweeky]

What's a reel?

[JPaul]

What's a reel?
Just remember, there is no spoon.

[Skweeky]

:cry: Stop scaring me

[CELEBS]

remember scottish food is like making love to an easy woman. start from the outside and work your way inwards. take notes seedler and the lolboys.

[JPaul]

:cry: Stop scaring me
Reels are great fun.

Here's the trick. If there is something which looks like a "formal dance", join in and laugh a lot. Yell "Wheee" every so often and just have a larf.

You're quids in mate.

Irish Scottish weddings are great fun.

[j2k4]

What's a reel?
Just remember, there is no spoon.

Just a lot of bending at the waist, in both directions, for any of a number of purposes...

[Skweeky]

Would they allow me to bring a coolbox?

[CELEBS]

yeah, only if its pure full of mental mad buckie likes.

[j2k4]

Would they allow me to bring a coolbox?

I'm quite sure the temperature of it is immaterial, though that might be safer..:naughty:

[Biggles]

Would they allow me to bring a coolbox?

A bit dangerous during a reel I would have thought :ermm:

http://www.abdn.ac.uk/students/societies/ausds/photos/sdance5.jpg

[Skweeky]

I'm going into Blantyre... it'd be dangerous to transport buckie

[CELEBS]

hide it in your methadone bottle.

[JPaul]

I'm going into Posh Hamilton ... it'd be dangerous to transport buckie
Fixed.

[Biggles]

I'm going into Blantyre... it'd be dangerous to transport buckie

It is not a wine that travels well it is true.

[CELEBS]

so they use the phrase ring sting in glesga?

[Skweeky]

Hamilton?
Posh?
:lol: :lol:

What's next? Springburn upmarket? :lol:

[manker]

thye have a haggis orgy at the end of it. pretty much like a belgian wedding but with haggis stains on your cawk.
:glag; at practically everything spd said in this thread.