baccyman
08-15-2006, 04:03 PM
Q: What happens when a paranoid has low self-esteem?
A: He thinks that nobody important is out to get him.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One hot July day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight. Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny and hair all matted down. We felt sorry for her and put her in a carrier and took her to the vet.
She had no name so we named her Pussycat. The vet decided to keep her for a day or so and said he would let us know when we could come and get her.
My husband, (the complainer) said "OK, but don't forget to wash her, she stinks. My husband and my vet don't see eye to eye. He calls my husband El-Cheap-O'. My husband calls him 'El-Take-0'. They love to hate each other.
The next day my husband had an appointment with his doctor, which is located next door to the vet. The doctor's office was full of people waiting to see the doctor. A side door opened and in leaned the vet; he had obviously seen my husband arrive. He looked straight at my husband, "Your wife's pussy is finally clean and shaved. She now smells like a rose. And, by the way, I think she's pregnant. God knows who the father is!" And he quietly closed the door.
Now that's revenge!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was election time and a politician decided to go out to the local reservation and try to get the Native American vote. They were all assembled in the Council Hall to hear the speech. The politician had worked up to his finale, and the crowd was getting more and more excited. "I promise better education opportunities for Native Americans!" The crowd went wild, shouting "Hoya! Hoya!" The politician was a bit puzzled by the native word, but was encouraged by their enthusiasm. "I promise gambling reforms to allow a Casino on the Reservation!"
"Hoya! Hoya!" cried the crowd, stomping their feet.
"I promise more social reforms and job opportunities for Native Americans!" The crowd reached a frenzied pitch shouting "Hoya! Hoya! Hoya!"
After the speech, the Politician was touring the Reservation, and saw a tremendous herd of cattle. Since he was raised on a ranch, and knew a bit about cattle, he asked the Chief if he could get closer to take a look at the cattle.
"Sure," the Chief said, "but be careful not to step in the hoya."
A: He thinks that nobody important is out to get him.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One hot July day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight. Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny and hair all matted down. We felt sorry for her and put her in a carrier and took her to the vet.
She had no name so we named her Pussycat. The vet decided to keep her for a day or so and said he would let us know when we could come and get her.
My husband, (the complainer) said "OK, but don't forget to wash her, she stinks. My husband and my vet don't see eye to eye. He calls my husband El-Cheap-O'. My husband calls him 'El-Take-0'. They love to hate each other.
The next day my husband had an appointment with his doctor, which is located next door to the vet. The doctor's office was full of people waiting to see the doctor. A side door opened and in leaned the vet; he had obviously seen my husband arrive. He looked straight at my husband, "Your wife's pussy is finally clean and shaved. She now smells like a rose. And, by the way, I think she's pregnant. God knows who the father is!" And he quietly closed the door.
Now that's revenge!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was election time and a politician decided to go out to the local reservation and try to get the Native American vote. They were all assembled in the Council Hall to hear the speech. The politician had worked up to his finale, and the crowd was getting more and more excited. "I promise better education opportunities for Native Americans!" The crowd went wild, shouting "Hoya! Hoya!" The politician was a bit puzzled by the native word, but was encouraged by their enthusiasm. "I promise gambling reforms to allow a Casino on the Reservation!"
"Hoya! Hoya!" cried the crowd, stomping their feet.
"I promise more social reforms and job opportunities for Native Americans!" The crowd reached a frenzied pitch shouting "Hoya! Hoya! Hoya!"
After the speech, the Politician was touring the Reservation, and saw a tremendous herd of cattle. Since he was raised on a ranch, and knew a bit about cattle, he asked the Chief if he could get closer to take a look at the cattle.
"Sure," the Chief said, "but be careful not to step in the hoya."