baccyman
08-25-2006, 03:50 PM
1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX? (because they are plugged into a genius)
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX? (they don't have enough time)
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG? (they don't stop to ask directions)
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? (because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
5. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN? (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
6. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN? (don't know.....it never happened)
7. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH? (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
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A man requested a blonde painter to paint him in the nude.
"No" the talented blonde artist said. "I don't do that sort of thing."
"I'll increase your fee two times," he said.
"No, no thanks."
"I'll give five times as much as you normally get."
"Okay," said the artist, "But you have to let me at least wear my socks. I need somewhere to place my brushes."
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1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent.
3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
6. Lift your head and spread your legs.
7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.
8. Just turn your back and drop it.
9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls.
10. Damn, I missed the hole again.
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX? (they don't have enough time)
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG? (they don't stop to ask directions)
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? (because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
5. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN? (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
6. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN? (don't know.....it never happened)
7. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH? (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
---------------------------------------------------------
A man requested a blonde painter to paint him in the nude.
"No" the talented blonde artist said. "I don't do that sort of thing."
"I'll increase your fee two times," he said.
"No, no thanks."
"I'll give five times as much as you normally get."
"Okay," said the artist, "But you have to let me at least wear my socks. I need somewhere to place my brushes."
-----------------------------------------------------------
1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent.
3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
6. Lift your head and spread your legs.
7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.
8. Just turn your back and drop it.
9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls.
10. Damn, I missed the hole again.