Exgirlfriend - serious replies only please

[zapjb]

Serious replies only please.

Ok I'm on a dry streak. Not fun. I'm limited because I don't go with crazy chicks. And I'm not a hunk (good looking - yes) & not rich.

Ex is fine & very upbeat & spiritual. About 3-4 years ago we went together for ~6-7 months. Saw her (yes) 2-6x a year for the following 2 years or so. At one time I had two girlfriends. Her & another. Not bragging just background. Open & honest with both. They each had their assigned nights. And knew I was seeing another & were fine with it. Other was average but very nice & kind. Then the fine one wanted to be exclusive. Ended it with average gal. Ended on friendly terms with fine one a month & a half later. So I was SOL again.

So anyways out of the blue the fine one calls. Says she saw my car with a 4sale sign. I said no, I've had another car for a year. Yada yada she's fine, I'm fine. I'm lying. I'm lonely. For a good slap & tickle yes. But to as large a degree or more, intimacy. Asked her if she'd been up to anything or anywhere exciting, she said no. I told her about 3 exciting trips I've been on.

So her "real" reason for calling. She knows somebody who needs spiritual help. I don't walk on water. But I work on my spirituality. And I've helped & been helped by others before. So yeah she can give the guy (a stranger to her) my phone number.

Then she says, "It's good to know I can always count on you. And you can always count on me if you need anything." So I do believe her "real" reason.

But I'm wondering if she's up for some slap & tickle? 99.99% she's single. I'd like more. But I don't think she's up for that. Thus far I've decided to play it cool & call her in about a week & a half.

So what do you think? Please, constructive comments only. Thanks.

[Busyman™]

Okayyyy:unsure:

She's up for a fuck. Seriously.

Neva hoid uv slap and tickle before.:lol:

[100%]

She has you in her mind and hence refers to you to her friends - whether this is a sexual thing is up to you to decipher. If you want to make this into something more with her then i suggest accepting the dude.. (her friend) hence you will have more incommon etc.
What do you want? quicky or real?

[peat moss]

I fine the hardest thing is just being yourself . Does n't matter that your member can crush walnuts .


You have a good heart ,we can see it so will she . Move on find new lady friend , it drives them nuts !

[zapjb]

@100% The guys is a stranger to her.

And the chance of real, do you mean 4ever? Nah 4ever, very very very slim. But it's always been real with us.

@pm The problem is most (99%) of the women I attract are nuts. I know, I know. But not this one.

[peat moss]

She 's playing you , talk to one of her girrrrl friends to hear the truth .

To be honest I give bad advice in love and sex , but I still try .

[zapjb]

She's a loner. Spirituality, work & family. Girlfriends from work & church. And I don't know any of them.

[peat moss]

You don't have children Zap ? Your lucky then .

[zapjb]

I don't know for sure. And the older I get I don't know about the kids thing. I mean if I have a kid out there & I get to participate, great. But to start one now? Wow unless the mother is superwoman.

[j2k4]

She's a loner. Spirituality, work & family. Girlfriends from work & church. And I don't know any of them.

The cynical side of me (that is to say, the left side) would advise she is indeed nuts, probably homicidal.

Bottom line:

Go for the 'slap-n-tickle', on your schedule, and on the appointed night tell her she has to go to the bathroom while you check her purse for weapons.

Hope this is serious enough.

Enjoy! :)

[limesqueezer]

Well don't know if i understand it right, but u did see boath at same time and they knew about it, than its about sex. Some girl once wanted to go out with me back in high school, i said ok why not, cause she was all crazy about it. After 2 week she told me that her best friend would like to go out with me also. At first i though she was joking or she wants to replace herself with the other, but they wanted me boath. After a month or soo i quit on boath, if u can call that quitting, it was wierd, funny that she didn't get it for another 2 weeks or soo. U can't start seriously with christian girls that don't know what they want and are desperate to fuck.

[zapjb]

She's a Unitarian.

Unitarian:

1.An adherent of Unitarian Universalism.
2.A monotheist who is not a Christian.
3.A Christian who is not a Trinitarian.

[Everose]

All that and not crazy. Good luck and hope whatever decision you make works out the best for both of you.

[Busyman™]

All that and not crazy. Good luck and hope whatever decision you make works out the best for both of you.

She's believes in one god. It's not all that.

[Everose]

She's a loner. Spirituality, work & family. Girlfriends from work & church.



All that, Busy, and bug off.

Sorry, zapjb. My way of saying she sounds special and I hope it works for the both of you, in which ever way the both of you want it too.

[limesqueezer]

She's a Unitarian.

Unitarian:

1.An adherent of Unitarian Universalism.
2.A monotheist who is not a Christian.
3.A Christian who is not a Trinitarian.

She is what the trend is or what can convice her or who can convince her, we had here everything from socialism, communism to christianity to atheism to energy stones, all with same ppl, mostly politics but also i know many people who gone from communists to biggest christians. I don't understand those isms and im not taking seriously those kind of ppl, not that i understanded all the weekly new genres of belives that appear. I don't get it what u said also, but probably u mean those kind of univeral spirits that belive in different colors of energy.

[j2k4]

She's a Unitarian.

Unitarian:

1.An adherent of Unitarian Universalism.
2.A monotheist who is not a Christian.
3.A Christian who is not a Trinitarian.

She is what the trend is or what can convice her or who can convince her, we had here everything from socialism, communism to christianity to atheism to energy stones, all with same ppl, mostly politics but also i know many people who gone from communists to biggest christians. I don't understand those isms and im not taking seriously those kind of ppl, not that i understanded all the weekly new genres of belives that appear. I don't get it what u said also, but probably u mean those kind of univeral spirits that belive in different colors of energy.


Do everyone a favor and search the term word brick.

Report back when you've done this.

Honestly, no comment on the content of your posting (that will come later), but unless you learn to do it legibly, we won't read it as a matter of form.

[limesqueezer]

She is what the trend is or what can convice her or who can convince her, we had here everything from socialism, communism to christianity to atheism to energy stones, all with same ppl, mostly politics but also i know many people who gone from communists to biggest christians. I don't understand those isms and im not taking seriously those kind of ppl, not that i understanded all the weekly new genres of belives that appear. I don't get it what u said also, but probably u mean those kind of univeral spirits that belive in different colors of energy.


Do everyone a favor and search the term word brick.

Report back when you've done this.

Honestly, no comment on the content of your posting (that will come later), but unless you learn to do it legibly, we won't read it as a matter of form.

Im not from USA and i can't do it as legibly like you. Whats word brick ?

[j2k4]

Do everyone a favor and search the term word brick.

Report back when you've done this.

Honestly, no comment on the content of your posting (that will come later), but unless you learn to do it legibly, we won't read it as a matter of form.

Im not from USA and i can't do it as legibly like you. Whats word brick ?

A word brick is an unbroken wad of words; as you post, it tends to look (to someone trying to read it) like this:

Sheiswhatthetrendisorwhatcanconviceherorwhocanconvinceher,wehadhereeverythingfromsocialism,communismtochristianitytoatheismtoenergystones,all withsameppl,mostlypoliticsbutalsoiknowmanypeoplewhogonefromcommuniststobiggestchristians.Idon'tunderstandthoseismsandimnottakingseriously thosekindofppl,notthatiunderstandedalltheweeklynewgenresofbelivesthatappear.Idon'tgetitwhatusaidalso,butprobablyumeanthosekindofuniveralspiritsthatbeliveindifferentcolorsofenergy.

Also you will notice we try to avoid the use of 'i' to refer to one's self, preferring the bigger 'I'.

'U', as used to refer to others, is for youngsters who are eager to be noticed as, well, youngsters.

Proper paragraphs, and double-spacing between, is also favored.

If you work on implementing these things into your posting, we in turn promise to abuse you properly, rather than out-of-hand. :)

[Virtualbody1234]

Do everyone a favor and search the term word brick.

Report back when you've done this.

Honestly, no comment on the content of your posting (that will come later), but unless you learn to do it legibly, we won't read it as a matter of form.
... Whats word brick ?He just said "Do everyone a favor and search the term word brick."


@zapjb. The best thing to do is talk to her some more to find out what's really up.

[limesqueezer]

Im not from english spoken country. I really don't understand if this was necessary, i speak 4 languages, do i need to know your usa language which isn't even the same as UK english, basicly you speak wrong english. Isn't this offtopic ? Can i have my own oppinon ? Or do i have to follow the usa traditions in this forums to be able to talk "inteligent" bullshit like you do all the time, especiyl on lounge.

[j2k4]

Im not from english spoken country. I really don't understand if this was necessary, i speak 4 languages, do i need to know your usa language which isn't even the same as UK english, basicly you speak wrong english. Isn't this offtopic ? Can i have my own oppinon ? Or do i have to follow the usa traditions in this forums to be able to talk "inteligent" bullshit like you do all the time, especiyl on lounge.

It's not a matter of language at all, it is a matter of form.

You can observe form and still post your pish, if you like.*

By the way, this is The Drawing Room, not The Lounge...



*Note how easy on the eyes my post is.

[Busyman™]

She's a loner. Spirituality, work & family. Girlfriends from work & church.



All that, Busy, and bug off.

Sorry, zapjb. My way of saying she sounds special and I hope it works for the both of you, in which ever way the both of you want it too.

Eh? I'm just saying that being Unitarian doesn't sound crazy. You fuck off cos for some reason you have a bug up your ass.:dry:

[limesqueezer]

You are a real christian & patriot sir. I wonder how many ex-christian girlfriends you had. All you need to do when you go out with a religious fanatic girl is to convince her, that you are the same religion like she is and you got yourself a new toy. The problem is that such girls give it to everybody "holy" enough. Easy girls come and go, unless you got a lot of cash. ;)

[Everose]

You are a real christian & patriot sir. I wonder how many ex-christian girlfriends you had. All you need to do when you go out with a religious fanatic girl is to convince her, that you are the same religion like she is and you got yourself a new toy. The problem is that such girls give it to everybody "holy" enough. Easy girls come and go, unless you got a lot of cash. ;)




I hear tell the same can be said for easy boys. ;)

[Mr JP Fugley]

Hoi, spammers, the chap wanted serious (presumably on-topic) answers only.

Some people.

[zapjb]

Thanks to everyone so far EXCEPT the citrus molester.

@VB I've done this dance with her before. She doesn't like to say whats really going on. Like a lot of us, she's got a blind spot. And it's an inward one.


A friend gave me advice which I'll take. He said invite her to coffee just to catch up. Do that a couple more times. And don't escalate. Like no dinner, movies or sex.

I know her. If she's interested this will drive her crazy. And when we've had a thing in the past. From casual to serious. It's doesn't work if she has the power. If I'm too attentive, nice, etc. But when I keep her guessing. Not mean. Just on the nice side of blase. Then she's sweet, passionate & lustful. I know, yes I know. So I might not be able to hold out.

I'm not IN love with any of my exs. I love them & want the best for them.

With her she's a giver (subtlety intended). No give & take like my other gfs. And this time around I want her to be able to receive. I know this is codependent. And probably won't work.

But I want to try. If I force this upon her. She will punish me, for making her take a look inside. To see her long standing issue.

So I have to be careful. Protect myself, cause no harm & TRY to help. I helped a few women through things like this. And it has given me great joy.

But I'll see. This is one of the few times if not the first time I've written about my life on the net. At least at this depth.

So thanks for the constructive. comments. And those of you who don't have the personal experience & or intelligence. Go to the Lounge. This is not the lounge.

[j2k4]

Thanks to everyone so far EXCEPT the citrus molester.

@VB I've done this dance with her before. She doesn't like to say whats really going on. Like a lot of us, she's got a blind spot. And it's an inward one.


A friend gave me advice which I'll take. He said invite her to coffee just to catch up. Do that a couple more times. And don't escalate. Like no dinner, movies or sex.

I know her. If she's interested this will drive her crazy. And when we've had a thing in the past. From casual to serious. It's doesn't work if she has the power. If I'm too attentive, nice, etc. But when I keep her guessing. Not mean. Just on the nice side of blase. Then she's sweet, passionate & lustful. I know, yes I know. So I might not be able to hold out.

I'm not IN love with any of my exs. I love them & want the best for them.

With her she's a giver (subtlety intended). No give & take like my other gfs. And this time around I want her to be able to receive. I know this is codependent. And probably won't work.

But I want to try. If I force this upon her. She will punish me, for making her take a look inside. To see her long standing issue.

So I have to be careful. Protect myself, cause no harm & TRY to help. I helped a few women through things like this. And it has given me great joy.

But I'll see. This is one of the few times if not the first time I've written about my life on the net. At least at this depth.

So thanks for the constructive. comments. And those of you who don't have the personal experience & or intelligence. Go to the Lounge. This is not the lounge.

Sounde like you're of a serious mind and have a good handle on things (don't read anything in to that).

Best of luck to you and the lady, Zap.

[Snee]

Well don't know if i understand it right, but u did see boath at same time and they knew about it, than its about sex. Some girl once wanted to go out with me back in high school, i said ok why not, cause she was all crazy about it. After 2 week she told me that her best friend would like to go out with me also. At first i though she was joking or she wants to replace herself with the other, but they wanted me boath. After a month or soo i quit on boath, if u can call that quitting, it was wierd, funny that she didn't get it for another 2 weeks or soo. U can't start seriously with christian girls that don't know what they want and are desperate to fuck.

I just gotta' ask...are you saying christian girls are especially easy, and if so in comparison to what?

In my experience religious women are hardly easy :/




And zap, I just keep reading it as "hippie" when someone refers to "sprituality" :/

[zapjb]

You don't like spirituality or hippies? Or both?

[Snee]

Yup.

[j2k4]

I just keep reading it as "hippie" when someone refers to "sprituality" :/

I wouldn't say "hippie" necessarily, but I've always been a bit baffled when someone claims to be spiritual, or attributes that quality to another.

What they seem to be saying when they say it belies the very idea of "spirituality"; that is to say those who claim to be "spiritual" are...effecting an affect, I'd say.

When I was younger it was code for, "He smokes good dope". :D

[zapjb]

Didn't think I'd have to resort to a simple definition.

Sprituality:

1. the quality or fact of being spiritual.
2. incorporeal or immaterial nature.
3. predominantly spiritual character as shown in thought, life,
etc.; spiritual tendency or tone.
4. Often, spiritualities. property or revenue of the church or of an
ecclesiastic in his or her official capacity.


I base my use of the word in this instance on #3.

[j2k4]

3. predominantly spiritual character as shown in thought, life, etc.; spiritual tendency or tone.

But what, precisely, does it mean to be spiritual?

To be cognizant of fate?

What is it to exhibit a"spiritual tendency or tone"?

To wax philosophical?

To speak of one's existance in meta-physical terms?

All one can do is distill one's milieu to it's truest form and determine how to interact successfully with it.

This is, of course, subject to individual interpretation, which variable eliminates any commonality, and which also eliminates any communally recognizable "spirituality".

Unless, of course, you are speaking in the religious sense, and by this I most definitely am not referring to Scientology. :)

[zapjb]

3. predominantly spiritual character as shown in thought, life, etc.; spiritual tendency or tone.

But what, precisely, does it mean to be spiritual?

To be cognizant of fate?

What is it to exhibit a"spiritual tendency or tone"?

To wax philosophical?

To speak of one's existance in meta-physical terms?

All one can do is distill one's milieu to it's truest form and determine how to interact successfully with it.

This is, of course, subject to individual interpretation, which variable eliminates any commonality, and which also eliminates any communally recognizable "spirituality".

Unless, of course, you are speaking in the religious sense, and by this I most definitely am not referring to Scientology. :)
Three minutes after posting this. You sent me a conciliatory pm. Wtf?

Ime nonbelievers & religious people are afraid. Afraid of people who believe but are not necessarily religious.

[j2k4]

Three minutes after posting this. You sent me a conciliatory pm. Wtf?

Ime nonbelievers & religious people are afraid. Afraid of people who believe but are not necessarily religious.

Because though I feel the word is misused, and thrown around too lightly, I didn't want to offend.

BTW-

What is someone who is not religious taking the time and making the effort to believe in, if you don't mind my asking?

Sorry again for the timing vis a vis my latest PM; your answer pounced first, so this response is once again out-of-phase.

[MagicNakor]

Well, keep in mind that my own beliefs would possibly be considered "spiritual" since I'm no member of an organized religion.

Of course, I am a hippie too so...





I'm also drunk. Yay family dinners.

:shuriken:

[zapjb]

Three minutes after posting this. You sent me a conciliatory pm. Wtf?

Ime nonbelievers & religious people are afraid. Afraid of people who believe but are not necessarily religious.

Because though I feel the word is misused, and thrown around too lightly, I didn't want to offend.

BTW-

What is someone who is not religious taking the time and making the effort to believe in, if you don't mind my asking?

Sorry again for the timing vis a vis my latest PM; your answer pounced first, so this response is once again out-of-phase.
To answer your question. Your statement implies that your view of religion is like a sword hanging over ones head. You better believe or else. Not all people believe this.

Some spiritual people believe in people & doing good. Just that doing good is it's own reward.

Btw it's hard for me to believe that you don't understand these things. I think you feign ignorance. So that you can teach, inform or convince others.

[j2k4]

Because though I feel the word is misused, and thrown around too lightly, I didn't want to offend.

BTW-

What is someone who is not religious taking the time and making the effort to believe in, if you don't mind my asking?

Sorry again for the timing vis a vis my latest PM; your answer pounced first, so this response is once again out-of-phase.
To answer your question. Your statement implies that your view of religion is like a sword hanging over ones head. You better believe or else. Not all people believe this.

Some spiritual people believe in people & doing good. Just that doing good is it's own reward.

Btw it's hard for me to believe that you don't understand these things. I think you feign ignorance. So that you can teach, inform or convince others.

I see.

My only point is that spirituality has it's roots in religion, much as law has it's roots in the Commandments.

I share your opinion that belief in people and good deeds can keep one on an even keel and lend mightily to inner peace and serenity.

I also feel that those who speak of such things shouldn't be troubled by even the mention of religion and it's positive effects on those who do not practice any formal religion.

I would posit that spirituality presupposes a higher power, or powers, though some prefer the term fate.

Religion gets a bad rap, too often as a matter of course, and occasionally I like to try to remind others how they've been influenced by it, whether or not they care to acknowledge same.

Since it appeared your initial dilemma had been sorted decently, I thought I'd nudge a worthy thread in another direction, but I certainly understand any reluctance to have it wander this way.