the general fecking public

[brenda]

skweeky's 'hilarious' thread reminded me just how mental the general public are, no matter what job you do there is always a never ended number of Joe Public's readyto baffle you with their stupid questions and comments. my favourite 2 are as follows......

1. I worked at the cinema and we sold 2 varieties of popcorn. When a customer asked for popcorn but didn't specify which one we would ask "would you like sugared or salted popcorn?" Around one in 3 people would ask "what's the difference?" :blink:

2. This happened only a couple of days ago in the coffee shop. A guy ordered a coffee, I said "is that just a regular white coffee?" he replied "no I'll have a black coffee with some milk in it thanks" :unsure:

[Aaron_T]

A similar type of thing happened to me at work today, somebody wanted 30 bags of ice and there was a call put out for me to come to the desk.

a woman was waiting and i asked what it was she wanted and she said i want "30 bags of frozen ice, make sure its frozen" i stood there in bewilderment at that for about 2 minutes before i finally made my way into the back :lol:

[Skweeky]

I agree.

my whole point to that thread was that there are some obvious things everyone just knows amd yet there is still the odd weirdo out there who seems to have spent his or her entire life on some different planet.

A classic I remember from my years at uni;

We were asked to pick a password for our recording sessions during English so we could access our recordings at home as well.
A girl was getting quite upset at the PC and shouted the lecturer over because it wouldn't allow her to enter a password.
She said 'I'm trying to put in "orange", but every time I try to type it in, the screen just shows me ******'

[DorisInsinuate]

Just about everyone will say:

"I'm crap at maths."

and be quite proud of it.

[Tempestv]

I was at work this summer, framing a deck, and a guy walks on the job site and asks me if I'm the electician. (at the time, I was nailing together the deck with a nail gun, wire no where to be seen)

I was sitting in geography class discussing current events and a current event about someone doing something very stupid came up (I forget what the exact story was) and one of the people in the class described the stupid person in the story as "this person that has the brain of a rock". anyways, a good ten minutes later, one of the slower people in the class says "wait, I don't get it, rocks don't have brains"

[j2k4]

I've got one.

There is a member here (who must also be a member of some public, somewhere) who thought a living will was a good idea, because if you died, and you then you wanted to change it, why, it would be much easier.

[Chewie]

Isn't it incredible the number of complete numpties there are in the world?

I work in a truck dealership parts dept.

When ordering a part for a customer it's not uncommon for the conversation to go:
"That'll be here for you first thing in the morning."
"What time do you open?"
"We open at 6"
"6 in the morning?"

Those that endeavour to turn up at the last possible minute often like to entertain us in similar fashion:
"What time are you closing?"
"8 o'clock sharp."
"8 o'clock tonight?"

Last Saturday I served a guy who claimed to be a tyre fitter running his own company. He turned up at 06:15 and wanted a bumper corner. I asked him for the vehicle registration or chassis number as the bumpers changed design. He couldn't tell me. I also pointed out that they're different on long- and short- wheelbase models too, but he didn't know.
After about 30 minutes of him trying to contact the owner of the vehicle or someone who could look at the reg plate, he finally decided to guess.
On Monday evening (having changed to the late shift for this week) he turned up again, with the part I'd sold him. It was the wrong one obviously, and he'd come to change it for the right one.
That done, he told me he wanted a part for another vehicle.
"OK, what's the reg?"
"I haven't got it."
"Chassis number?"
"Um... he didn't say."
Now what sort of professional can forget what kind of information he's going to need a mere two days after he's had so much trouble for not having it?

[j2k4]

Here's one from my days selling auto parts.

One Saturday, a nice-looking lady came through the door with a look of trepidation on her face...there was a bit of a lull in customer traffic, so I stepped out from behind the counter to ask if I could be of assistance.

She told me her husband's birthday was looming, and, as he was a fairly accomplished hobbyist mechanic/handyman, she wanted to get him some sort of nice toolage, but he already had so many implements she wanted to see for herself what we had on display.

I walked her up and down the aisles, showing her this and that, with an eye toward certain esoterica which would not ordinarily be owned by your average spanner-spinner, and soon enough, her head began to spin-she told me she might better consult with her son as to what might be appropriate, and to insure she didn't mistakenly purchase something he already had; she told me she would go home, talk to her son and call me within the hour.

Sure enough, about an hour later she called, relating that she'd been in our store a short time ago, shopping for her husband's birthday.

I told her I had waited on her, and told her I was ready to help her further; she replied, "No, it wasn't you."

I asked her to describe the fellow she had spoken to, and was told, "It was a big guy...the biggest guy behind the counter."

I told her she had the right guy, I was indeed the biggest guy in the store, and even described her (to her) to establish my bone fides.

She replied, "No, it wasn't you, I'm quite sure."

Sensing an impasse, I decided to default to merely offering my help anew, to which she said, "But the man I talked to knows what he showed me...I'll just have to come down there again."

I hung up, wondering what would happen next.

About a half-hour later, the door opens, and here she comes.

She marches straight up to me, and says "My God, I just called here and had the strangest conversation...":blink:

I wasn't about to tell her I'd just had one myself. :whistling

[hamm]

~there is still the odd weirdo out there who seems to have spent his or her entire life on some different planet.
Yes, of course. The aliens walk among us. :alien:

[Tempestv]

A friend of mine was telling me that he sold a car to a friend of his. The car was one of those ones with the gas fill spout hidden behind the license plate, which ment that the friend could not find it. So he thought that it was under the hood. He found near empty plastic jug with no markings, and as the gas gauge said the tank was near empty, if the jug was near empty, that must be it, so he filled it right up to the top with gas. he got about two miles when he reilized what happens when you fill the radiator overflow with gas!!

back when I was in high school, I was sitting in classand one of the kids mentioned that he needed a new oil plug. The teacher asked what happened and the kid said, compleatly serously "I was driving home the other day, and the oil light came on. Then like five minutes later, the engine just quite. I got out and looked and the oil plug was gone, so I think I need a new oil plug."

I was in a welding class in highschool and there were two compleat idiots in class.

the first one never tried to learn to weld, then when he found out that he would fail the course if he didn't turn in some welds, he tried to bribe those in the class that knew how to weld such as myself to do his welds for him. I remember when he came up to me holding a piece of aluminum and a piece of steel, and asked me to weld them together. I told him that if he was going to try and beg someone to do his welds, that he should at least bring them something that was weldable.
later, he decided that he wanted to make a weapon, so he convinced one of the other welders (as I said, he didn't know how to weld) to weld a hooked blade shaped cutoff about 2ft across on to a five foot piece of square tube. keep in mind that building weapons in class is illeagal. anyways, fresh off the bench, he grabs it and takes it and runs around where the teacher is and exclaims "look, it's a back scratcher" of course the teacher took it away and the kid couldn't understand why the teacher wouldn't beleve him
the second kid claimed that he could weld aluminum to a brick. enough said

[tesco]

the second kid claimed that he could weld aluminum to a brick. enough said:lol:

[100%]

While stressedly trying to hang up an art work in the national hospital which they had commissioned me for.
It was right by the big open seating area by the entrance
A woman came up to me and asked
"is that art"
I turned and said
"yes, unless you don't think so"
she turned away and said to the seating area
"now we know where all our tax money goes to, hmmf"
I continued my work

I have not to this day taken welfare. The money to make this piece came from the hospital foundation which is built up on the rent of the rich people who donated it to the city, in order to make the hospital less "hospital".
But that type of cliche statement mentality is the worst of the worst.

in after thought a direct confrontation on my behalf would have brought ....

[j2k4]

While stressedly trying to hang up an art work in the national hospital which they had commissioned me for.
It was right by the big open seating area by the entrance
A woman came up to me and asked
"is that art"
I turned and said
"yes, unless you don't think so"
she turned away and said to the seating area
"now we know where all our tax money goes to, hmmf"
I continued my work

I have not to this day taken welfare. The money to make this piece came from the hospital foundation which is built up on the rent of the rich people who donated it to the city, in order to make the hospital less "hospital".
But that type of cliche statement mentality is the worst of the worst.

in after thought a direct confrontation on my behalf would have brought ....

Given the general state of idiocy prevalent in the idea of tax money funding "art", I think that, on the occasion privately funded art draws such commentary, it behooves the artist to relieve the commentator of his/her ignorance.

Whether or not such art has mass appeal pales alongside it's legitimacy, and the funding for which is the result of greater due diligence on the part of those responsible for it's commission.

[100%]

Given the general state of idiocy prevalent in the idea of tax money funding "art",

Agreed as stated above


I think that,

ok tell me - allthough i had to read your post a few times to remember who i was


on the occasion privately funded art draws such commentary, it behooves the artist to relieve the commentator of his/her ignorance.

I agree and have had to this day recurrant experiences of it, however that one bothered me immensenly as i was pressed for time and the naivity of the question was pointless, but yes i thought of many smart ass answers afterwards. That moment, that place was a monument for more people to understand, oh the regret.


Whether or not such art has mass appeal pales alongside it's legitimacy, and the funding for which is the result of greater due diligence on the part of those responsible for it's commission.

This is the part i absolutly do not at all understand, please rephraise.

[j2k4]

Whether or not such art has mass appeal pales alongside it's legitimacy, and the funding for which is the result of greater due diligence on the part of those responsible for it's commission.

Privately funded art hanging in a public space I find more legitimate in any case, and will be generally more recognizable as genuine "art"; that is to say that it's qualities as art will be more readily discernable to those who view it...all this owing to the greater responsibility felt by the patrons who contract for such pieces.

They know art, and know good art is worth their patronage.

Publically-funded art is another bucket of slop altogether, and much more of a needle-in-a-haystack proposition.

[Tempestv]

here at MSU a certain percentage of the cost to build each building has to go to fund public art. but hey, thats how we got the "wind arc" (we call it the noodle)
http://www.montana.edu/cpa/gallery/051121/mediafiles/l6.jpg
http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g290/tempestv/bw1003.jpg

[j2k4]

...we call it the noodle...
http://www.montana.edu/cpa/gallery/051121/mediafiles/l6.jpg
http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g290/tempestv/bw1003.jpg

I don't wonder why.

You have my sympathy. :huh:

I must say, the "noodle"-support looks like a quality piece of work.

I do like stainless steel. :)

[Tempestv]

actually, it's pretty well liked, particularly when you consider what the other stuff looks like- I'm not even going to try to describe it, its just to weird.

[j2k4]

actually, it's pretty well liked, particularly when you consider what the other stuff looks like- I'm not even going to try to describe it, its just to weird.

An (uncooked) noodle is the best of a marginal lot, then?

[CrabGirl]

We need a "shit stuff in my town" thread.

[Proper Bo]

We need a "shit stuff in my town" thread.

start one then:huh:

[CrabGirl]

Can't. Broken.

[Tempestv]

An (uncooked) noodle is the best of a marginal lot, then?

Balls of barb wire making the shape of an infinity sign hanging from the ceiling of the lobby in the engineering building? I guess I can explain that one. the others really are beyond beilef.

[Seedler]

You're part of it.:dry;

[j2k4]

An (uncooked) noodle is the best of a marginal lot, then?

Balls of barb wire making the shape of an infinity sign hanging from the ceiling of the lobby in the engineering building? I guess I can explain that one. the others really are beyond beilef.

That's the trouble with publically-funded art.

What's that?

That? Oh, thats art.

Really? How do you know?

I read the plaque...




The way I see it, if you need to be told, it ain't art.

[CrabGirl]

http://www.inplymouth.com/pix/barbican-prawn.jpg

We've got a prawn/lobster thing on a pole. Many people hate it but I think it's cool.

[DorisInsinuate]

Looks like a city eating monster. Does it have super-powers like radiation breath or supersonic wing flaps?

[CrabGirl]

It's meant to have lights in its eyes and mouth but they are never on.

This is because:-

1. It looks pretty fecking terrifying.
2. Its right by the lock where the boats come into the harbour from the Sound, and stupid fisherman might mistake the lights as the entrance and crash into the harbour wall.

[j2k4]

http://www.inplymouth.com/pix/barbican-prawn.jpg

We've got a prawn/lobster thing on a pole. Many people hate it but I think it's cool.

It looks like one of those creatures occasionally dragged off the bottom by a net.

Art?

Eye of the beholder, I'd say.

It is at least recognizable, however marginally.

[j0hn]

The way I see it, if you need to be told, it ain't art.
couldnt agree more.
that definition should be used in the dictionary somewhere.

[Tempestv]

The way I see it, if you need to be told, it ain't art.

http://www.dispatch.co.za/2003/05/21/foreign/KILLED.HTM


Goldfish in blenders, on show at Trapholt Art Museum in Kolding, Denmark, was created by Chilean-born Danish artist Marco Evaristi. Visitors to the exhibit activated the blenders which killed the fish. Peter Meyer, the museum director, was charged with animal cruelty, but was acquitted on the grounds the fish were killed "instantly and humanely". (AP)

http://www.dispatch.co.za/2003/05/21/foreign/Images/FISHBLEN.JPG


http://archives.cnn.com/2000/STYLE/arts/02/15/goldfish.ap/index.html
Notice that the fish in the far right blender on the cnn page has infact been turned into fish soup.

[j2k4]

http://www.dispatch.co.za/2003/05/21/foreign/KILLED.HTM


Goldfish in blenders, on show at Trapholt Art Museum in Kolding, Denmark, was created by Chilean-born Danish artist Marco Evaristi. Visitors to the exhibit activated the blenders which killed the fish. Peter Meyer, the museum director, was charged with animal cruelty, but was acquitted on the grounds the fish were killed "instantly and humanely". (AP)

http://www.dispatch.co.za/2003/05/21/foreign/Images/FISHBLEN.JPG


http://archives.cnn.com/2000/STYLE/arts/02/15/goldfish.ap/index.html
Notice that the fish in the far right blender on the cnn page has infact been turned into fish soup.


Aye, and if you asked the artist, he would probably tell you the blender signifies the U.S., and the goldfish embodies the mid-east/Africa/any other 3rd-world country.

[vidcc]

Aye, and if you asked the artist, he would probably tell you the blender signifies the U.S., and the goldfish embodies the mid-east/Africa/any other 3rd-world country.

You may, even if slightly paranoid, have a point there.

Although I wonder what significance is held with "the goldfish embodies the mid-east/Africa/any other 3rd-world" when an American in raising it makes an error in calling that fish a goldfish ;)

[tesco]

Why was the blender even plugged in?
If it wasn't then the art must have been moved so it wasn't guarded too well... :blink:

[Tempestv]

Why was the blender even plugged in?
If it wasn't then the art must have been moved so it wasn't guarded too well... :blink:

they were plugged in and people were invited to run them. at the stuff I have read about it says that at least one person turned some of them on, killing at least two fish. they got off on the charges of animal cruelty because witnesses that saw the fish get pureed said that the fish died quickly, and weren't tortured.

http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g290/tempestv/goldfish.jpg

Look at the circled blender on the right of the picture- Fish Soup anyone?

[{I}{K}{E}]

Here's one from my days selling auto parts.

One Saturday, a nice-looking lady came through the door with a look of trepidation on her face...there was a bit of a lull in customer traffic, so I stepped out from behind the counter to ask if I could be of assistance.

She told me her husband's birthday was looming, and, as he was a fairly accomplished hobbyist mechanic/handyman, she wanted to get him some sort of nice toolage, but he already had so many implements she wanted to see for herself what we had on display.

I walked her up and down the aisles, showing her this and that, with an eye toward certain esoterica which would not ordinarily be owned by your average spanner-spinner, and soon enough, her head began to spin-she told me she might better consult with her son as to what might be appropriate, and to insure she didn't mistakenly purchase something he already had; she told me she would go home, talk to her son and call me within the hour.

Sure enough, about an hour later she called, relating that she'd been in our store a short time ago, shopping for her husband's birthday.

I told her I had waited on her, and told her I was ready to help her further; she replied, "No, it wasn't you."

I asked her to describe the fellow she had spoken to, and was told, "It was a big guy...the biggest guy behind the counter."

I told her she had the right guy, I was indeed the biggest guy in the store, and even described her (to her) to establish my bone fides.

She replied, "No, it wasn't you, I'm quite sure."

Sensing an impasse, I decided to default to merely offering my help anew, to which she said, "But the man I talked to knows what he showed me...I'll just have to come down there again."

I hung up, wondering what would happen next.

About a half-hour later, the door opens, and here she comes.

She marches straight up to me, and says "My God, I just called here and had the strangest conversation...":blink:

I wasn't about to tell her I'd just had one myself. :whistling


:lol:

[CrabGirl]

I had a bad day yesterday in terms of nasty/stupid customers. This one woman in particuar rings in and gives me ten tons of shite because we'd apparently shipped her wine to a storage facility instead of to her house. I apologised and told her I'd remove it and ship it to her straight away.

Thus began a lenghty and confusing conversation about whether it was the right wine, Cremant de loire rose (http://www.laithwaites.co.uk/product~product_code~50371~mscssid~8F6DF8D3E61045C9B1737DCC4FF33BCE~imi~GOOGLE.pasp), her telling me that she wanted a "Loire valley sparking rose". I assured her that the case was the same as other cases she had previously bought and that it was the same wine, but she was loath to believe me.

I advised her I'd waive the carriage fee for her, seeing as we'd mistakenly put the case into storage but it would still take about 10 days because cases coming out of storage just do. She hit the roof and told me she wanted it sooner. I spent ages talking to the storage facility trying to get it delivered quicker, and eventually succeeded.

So, all done and dusted, customer has her wine coming to her."Great", I think. "She'll be off the phone soon", but no, she wants to order some more wine while she's at it. Another case of the Cremant de loire rose, coz she likes it. I say "Ok that's fine, that one will be with you in about four working days as is subject to normal delivery", thinking she'll be pleased to get it so quick.

"Oh no, " she says. "I want that one put into storage"

NNnnnnngggggyyyyaaaaaaaaa!

[100%]

Whether or not such art has mass appeal pales alongside it's legitimacy, and the funding for which is the result of greater due diligence on the part of those responsible for it's commission.

Privately funded art hanging in a public space I find more legitimate in any case, and will be generally more recognizable as genuine "art"; that is to say that it's qualities as art will be more readily discernable to those who view it...all this owing to the greater responsibility felt by the patrons who contract for such pieces.

They know art, and know good art is worth their patronage.

Publically-funded art is another bucket of slop altogether, and much more of a needle-in-a-haystack proposition.

Thanks for the explanation, and must agree with you but the reason why publically funded art is sloppy is because the "jurors" who choose the piece are a "slop" put together of everything and generally aim to please the masses hence nothing of interest will come out of it other than a coca cola commercial + santa



The way I see it, if you need to be told, it ain't art.
couldnt agree more.
that definition should be used in the dictionary somewhere.

What you said is Art.
(cause i told you)

[cpt_azad]

When I used to work at the bay:

Customer: Excuse me, do you know where the socks are in this department?
Me: ... umm right there, just behind you...and all around you
(we were standing in the socks/underwear section)

Customer: Hi there, could you tell me how much this is please?
Me: $18.00 dollars
Customer: Oh, but it says its 17.99 (no joke, it was an old asian lady)

That's all I can think of

[Barbarossa]

Customer: Hi there, could you tell me how much this is please?
Me: $18.00 dollars
Customer: Oh, but it says its 17.99 (no joke, it was an old asian lady)


Do you lot do the same as the merkins, and whack on a load of tax on top of the price on the ticket, at the till?

Cos that really pisses me off :angry:

[Busyman]

Customer: Hi there, could you tell me how much this is please?
Me: $18.00 dollars
Customer: Oh, but it says its 17.99 (no joke, it was an old asian lady)


Do you lot do the same as the merkins, and whack on a load of tax on top of the price on the ticket, at the till?

Cos that really pisses me off :angry:

What, $1.80 is a load?:blink:

[Tempestv]

Do you lot do the same as the merkins, and whack on a load of tax on top of the price on the ticket, at the till?

Cos that really pisses me off :angry:

I agree- which is why I'm quite glad to say that there is no sales tax in Montana. I think Montana, Alaska, Delaware, New Hampshire, and Oregon are the only states that don't have sales tax. also if I go to Idaho, or Washington, I just have to show my Montana drivers license and I get out of paying sales tax.

[j2k4]

Aye, and if you asked the artist, he would probably tell you the blender signifies the U.S., and the goldfish embodies the mid-east/Africa/any other 3rd-world country.

You may, even if slightly paranoid, have a point there.

Although I wonder what significance is held with "the goldfish embodies the mid-east/Africa/any other 3rd-world" when an American in raising it makes an error in calling that fish a goldfish ;)

Okay, tetra, or whatever.

[j2k4]

Privately funded art hanging in a public space I find more legitimate in any case, and will be generally more recognizable as genuine "art"; that is to say that it's qualities as art will be more readily discernable to those who view it...all this owing to the greater responsibility felt by the patrons who contract for such pieces.

They know art, and know good art is worth their patronage.

Publically-funded art is another bucket of slop altogether, and much more of a needle-in-a-haystack proposition.

Thanks for the explanation, and must agree with you but the reason why publically funded art is sloppy is because the "jurors" who choose the piece are a "slop" put together of everything and generally aim to please the masses hence nothing of interest will come out of it other than a coca cola commercial + santa

Which is precisely my point; you recall the old joke...A camel is a horse designed by committee?

Just so. ;)

[Agrajag]

Me, standing at the till in a bookshop, many moons ago.

Customer - Can you tell me where the shampoo is.

Me - Next door, in Boots.

Customer - Thanks, I'll go there.

Fade to blind man walking out of bookshop.

True story.

[DorisInsinuate]

I'm quite impressed that he managed to get to within a door's distance of his destination.

[Agrajag]

As was I.

[DorisInsinuate]

Did he not even have a guide dog?

How do you make a guide dog walk to Boots anyway?

[Agrajag]

Did he not even have a guide dog?

How do you make a guide dog walk to Boots anyway?

That's easy, you say "Hoi, dug, Boots, now".

Well I imagine that would work.

[DorisInsinuate]

If you can make the dog figure out the directions to Boots you might as well give it a fiver and tell him to pick up some milk on the way back.

[Agrajag]

Nah, it would probly just spend the money on apple and tabs.