View Full Version : Really bad jokes.
Agrajag
09-12-2006, 08:05 PM
Bloke sees a sign in a baker's window
Pies 50p, Wanks £1.
So he goes into the shop and asks the rather nice young lady "Are you the one who gives wanks for a £1?" to which she replies "Yes, yes I am". The bloke then hands her a £1 saying "Fine, well go and wash your hands and get me two pies"
Proper Bo
09-12-2006, 08:08 PM
:pinch:
Agrajag
09-12-2006, 08:10 PM
A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman walk into a pub. The barman says "Is this supposed to be some kind of joke".
Proper Bo
09-12-2006, 08:13 PM
Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.
Workcheese
09-12-2006, 08:14 PM
Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.
Yeah, I'm not a big Bill Bailey fan either.
Agrajag
09-12-2006, 08:15 PM
Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.
:lol:
That's not a really bad joke. :mellow:
/ Reported for spam.
Agrajag
09-12-2006, 08:15 PM
Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.
Yeah, I'm not a big Bill Bailey fan either.
He's not that big.
Proper Bo
09-12-2006, 08:17 PM
Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.
Yeah, I'm not a big Bill Bailey fan either.
Sorry, I didn't realise this was the "Really bad jokes (which you've written yourself)" thread:mellow:
edit: you ginger cunt.
DorisInsinuate
09-12-2006, 08:46 PM
Are bar jokes bad jokes then?
A workman walks into a pub with a slab of asphalt under his arm.
"What'll you have?" Asks the barman.
The workman replies, "I'll have a pint, and one for the road."
Agrajag
09-12-2006, 08:49 PM
Two chickens are standing at the side of the road.
Chicken 1 "I'm going over to the other side".
Chicken 2 "Please don't, we'll never hear the end of it"
What's invisible and smells like rabbit?
bunny farts
Bloke sees a sign in a baker's window
Pies 50p, Wanks £1.
So he goes into the shop and asks the rather nice young lady "Are you the one who gives wanks for a £1?" to which she replies "Yes, yes I am". The bloke then hands her a £1 saying "Fine, well go and wash your hands and get me two pies"
actually that is a good and well brought up joke
Agrajag
09-12-2006, 09:00 PM
What's invisible and smells like rabbit?
bunny farts
What's orange and sounds like a parrot.
A carrot.
DorisInsinuate
09-12-2006, 10:39 PM
What do you call a black man flying a plane?
A pilot.
I think I got that one from here actually :unsure:
Spider_dude
09-13-2006, 03:20 AM
why can't stevie wonder read?
cos he's black.
manker
09-13-2006, 08:41 AM
OMGWTFBBQ L01k3 L457 70 W4NK 0N C4K3 3475 17 :01:
Skweeky
09-13-2006, 09:38 AM
What's green and smells like yellow paint?
Green paint
Skweeky
09-13-2006, 09:38 AM
What's pink and fluffy?
Pink fluff
CrabGirl
09-13-2006, 11:25 AM
Whats yellow and smells of bananas?
Monkey sick
MagicNakor
09-13-2006, 01:01 PM
"What's the name of it?"
"The Aristocrats."
:shuriken:
Spider_dude
09-13-2006, 03:26 PM
what do you get hanging from trees?
sore arms.
GepperRankins
09-13-2006, 03:34 PM
a man walks into a bar.
idiot. lol
JPaul
09-13-2006, 04:31 PM
What's black and white and sits on a wall.
Humpty Baseball Boot.
JPaul
09-13-2006, 04:32 PM
She opened the door in her dressing gown.
Funny place to have a door I thought, in your dressing gown.
A man walks into a bar.
Ow it was an iron bar.
Whats brown and sticky?
A stick.
2 condoms are walking down the road and pass a gay bar. One condom says to the other ''shall we go in and get shitfaced?''
i can't anymore take of these
said the punchline
JPaul
09-13-2006, 05:09 PM
What's the gheyest thing in all of gheydom.
Sending your phoatie over the interweb to a Welshman who talks like a wee lassie.
CrabGirl
09-13-2006, 10:08 PM
Why are Pirates called Pirates....
Because they ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
Proper Bo
09-13-2006, 10:13 PM
pursted this in the spam fred not long ago but it still makes me glag slightly:
A man from Ashington visits his doctor, in the hope of getting a sick note.
"Me leg’s bad, man. Ah divven’t knaa what’s up with it."
"Can you walk?" the doctor asked.
"Work? Y'a kiddin' man, A cannet even waak!"
:pinch:
Lilmiss
09-13-2006, 10:58 PM
My girlfriend's going on holiday to the Caribbean.
That sounds nice, Jamaica?
No, she's going of her own accord. :pinch:
Proper Bo
09-13-2006, 11:03 PM
A man with a cucumber in his ear, a carrot in his nose, and a tomato in his eye walks into the doctor's office. He says, "Doc, I'm not feeling well. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor says, "First of all, you're not eating right...."
:no:
Proper Bo
09-13-2006, 11:06 PM
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put it in a microwave till it's bill withers
:pinch:
Lilmiss
09-13-2006, 11:20 PM
Tiger Woods drives his Beamer into a petrol station to fill her up.
He greets the attendent before bending over to pick up the nozzle, and two tees fall out of his pocket onto the ground.
"What are those?" asks the attendent.
"They're called tees," replies Tiger.
"What are they for?" the attendent asks him.
"They are for resting my balls on when I'm driving," says Tiger.
"Bloody 'ell," says the attendent, "BMW think of everything!"
:ermm:
cpt_azad
09-14-2006, 08:34 AM
Tiger Woods drives his Beamer into a petrol station to fill her up.
He greets the attendent before bending over to pick up the nozzle, and two tees fall out of his pocket onto the ground.
"What are those?" asks the attendent.
"They're called tees," replies Tiger.
"What are they for?" the attendent asks him.
"They are for resting my balls on when I'm driving," says Tiger.
"Bloody 'ell," says the attendent, "BMW think of everything!"
:ermm:
:lol::lol:
Am I going to hell for laughing at that :(?
Barbarossa
09-14-2006, 08:37 AM
Why did the tomato blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing :pinch:
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the seaweed :pinch:
What did the big orange say to the little orange?
Nothing, oranges can't talk :pinch:
Why did the pervert cross the road?
He'd got his dick stuck in the chicken :pinch:
Agrajag
09-14-2006, 07:17 PM
pursted this in the spam fred not long ago but it still makes me glag slightly:
A man from Ashington visits his doctor, in the hope of getting a sick note.
"Me leg’s bad, man. Ah divven’t knaa what’s up with it."
"Can you walk?" the doctor asked.
"Work? Y'a kiddin' man, A cannet even waak!"
:pinch:
:lol:
I read that in your accent, only in me head like.
Agrajag
09-14-2006, 07:28 PM
freedom fries lol
Not over here they don't
Seedler
09-15-2006, 02:35 AM
so bad it actually rofls.
Riddleclown
09-15-2006, 09:40 AM
A man walks in a Bar.
Ouch.
DorisInsinuate
09-15-2006, 12:06 PM
A man walks inside a Bar.
Ouch.
I like how that joke gets worse every time it's told.
Gripper
09-15-2006, 09:15 PM
What lays on the bottom of the sea shivering?
A nervous wreck.
Agrajag
09-15-2006, 09:19 PM
What's green and puts out forest fires.
Smokey the Grape
Gripper
09-15-2006, 09:23 PM
Why are camels called the ships of the desert?
'Cause they're full of arab semen
Agrajag
09-15-2006, 09:27 PM
Why are camels called the ships of the desert?
'Cause they're full of arab semen
:pinch:
Spider_dude
09-16-2006, 12:27 AM
i old several of these jokes tonight when pished. i got a few laughs.
Agrajag
09-16-2006, 08:09 AM
Which version of the classic "a man walks into a bar ..." did you tell.
DorisInsinuate
09-16-2006, 09:22 AM
B3ta's been all bad jokes recently:
http://img168.imageshack.us/img168/7631/dogggg2nv2.jpg
Agrajag
09-16-2006, 09:42 AM
What's Smokey the Grape's middle name.
the
What happened when the elephant sat on the chair?
it broke
Seedler
09-16-2006, 01:59 PM
The chair jumped up and mushroom slapped the elephant silly?
mushrooms don't slap, they creep up on you and sort make you all moldy
:checkyourcrotch:
Proper Bo
09-16-2006, 10:59 PM
man 1: "My dog hasn't got a nose"
man 2: "Really? How does it smell?"
man 1: "Fucking awful"
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