fake British univerity certificate?

[jimbo12345]

Hey,

Anywhere know where i can get one? asap! Long story....pm me!

[GepperRankins]

does it begin with "i" and end with "lied on my CV" ?

[Jagarga]

he just doesn't want to be the next burger king wonderboy like you dave.

[jimbo12345]

no, it has something to do with a visa problem i'm having, nothing to do with work, but yes, i lied on my original application, and now they want to see a copy of it, or i get deported.....so quite serious!

Any advice? I'm in China!

[jimbo12345]

and when i say lie...it was, what i thought, a white lie, kinda like telling your g/f her arse doesnt look big in those pants...

So come on, help me out! Or i'll have to spend 5 days in a Chinese jail, which can't be good.

[Barbarossa]

Any advice? I'm in China!

Take a trip to Hong Kong, they have some amazing fountains at the top of the funicular railway. :smilie4:

[Alien5]

and if you get caught with the fake British univerity certificate its...goodnight peeking.

[jimbo12345]

ahhh...but i didnt! All is sorted now....visa is in my passport

[Virtualbody1234]

"univerity" ?

[jimbo12345]

"univerity" ?


He's too Kool for Skool....or too poor to go.

[Virtualbody1234]

"univerity" ?


He's too Kool for Skool....or too poor to go.Who's "he"?

[jimbo12345]

sorry..."it"

[Alien5]

sorry...fook off

[jimbo12345]

well, dont feel you need to reply here. Save your time.

Hang around an office around closing time, go in, say you ar the cleaner, steal new keyboard, problem solved

[Alien5]

well, dont feel YOU need to reply here jimbo12345 why not Save YOUR time!

Hang around an office, learn to SPELL!

lol you spell "are" with an "e" you donkey.

i'll post here more often now i know how much you 2 like me here....hahahaha n00bs.

[jimbo12345]

sorry...fook off


Srry, i was only playing! Really, you spilt water on your keyboard? It seems to be fixed?

[Barbarossa]

lol you spell "are" with an "e".

No, he spells "are" without an "e" :dabs:

[jimbo12345]

and you spell fuck, well, like fuck. YOu fooking idiot

[jimbo12345]

no, i spell ar as ar. sort it out pmt possy.

[MCHeshPants420]

lol you spell "are" with an "e".

No, he spells "are" without an "e" :dabs:

Is it my imagination or is this community rep chap a bit of a cunt? I mean, it's alright for me to act like a cunt because I'm not repping any communities but for a community rep to act like a twat seems a bit off.

Anyhow, what the feck is a community rep? :dabs:

[jimbo12345]

dont blame me...i started the thread, it was kept reasonablynormal to these numb-nuts invaded.

[MCHeshPants420]

dont blame me...i started the thread, it was kept reasonablynormal to these numb-nuts invaded.

I don't blame you, you are obviously retarded and can't be held accountable for your actions. ;)

[Alien5]

haha

[jimbo12345]

community reps....they are the ones who plant flowers, fix fences when on commnity service.

Wtf is a professional flufeer and a fake shemp? Do youguys choose these or are they automatic?

[jimbo12345]

right, the threads all yours.

I'll stay away from now on.

[Alien5]

i got spilt water on my keyboard...sorry i'll shut up now.

[Barbarossa]

Wtf is a professional flufeer and a fake shemp? Do youguys choose these or are they automatic?

A professional fluffer is less of a job and more of a calling. It's a bit like the priesthood, but you wear fewer robes.

[MCHeshPants420]

well, dont feel YOU need to reply here jimbo12345 why not Save YOUR time!

Hang around an office, learn to SPELL!

lol you spell "are" with an "e" you donkey.

i'll post here more often now i know how much you 2 like me here....hahahaha n00bs.

The word "to" does not have any numbers in it, nor should it be replaced with a number (particularly when you are attempting to ridicule someone about their spelling). Also, before berating someone about their spelling, it might be an idea to brush up on your grammar.


Edit: Oh, and how many times are you going to edit that post? It's never going to be "good".

[Barbarossa]

No, he spells "are" without an "e" :dabs:

Is it my imagination or is this community rep chap a bit of a cunt? I mean, it's alright for me to act like a cunt because I'm not repping any communities but for a community rep to act like a twat seems a bit off.

Anyhow, what the feck is a community rep? :dabs:

Maybe he's representing a community of cunts. :idunno:

"Community Rep" is an anagram of "Me I'm Pro Cunty". :blink:

[Alien5]

No, he spells "are" without an "e" :dabs:

Is it my imagination or is this community rep chap a bit of a cunt? I mean, it's alright for me to act like a cunt because I'm not repping any communities but for a community rep to act like a twat seems a bit off.

Anyhow, what the feck is a community rep? :dabs: ok i am a bit of a cunt, so are you.

[MCHeshPants420]

"Community Rep" is an anagram of "Me I'm Pro Cunty". :blink:

:D

Sweet.

[Alien5]

well, dont feel YOU need to reply here jimbo12345 why not Save YOUR time!

Hang around an office, learn to SPELL!

lol you spell "are" with an "e" you donkey.

i'll post here more often now i know how much you 2 like me here....hahahaha n00bs.

The word "to" does not have any numbers in it, nor should it be replaced with a number (particularly when you are attempting to ridicule someone about their spelling). Also, before berating someone about their spelling, it might be an idea to brush up on your grammar.


Edit: Oh, and how many times are you going to edit that post? It's never going to be "good". my keboard is fooked, i didnt know it was a spelling contest.

[Alien5]

be carefull - "Barbarossa" is an anagram of "A BAR ASS ROB" :huh:

[Barbarossa]

lol you spell "keyboard" with a "y".

:dabs:

Do you see what I did there?

[Alien5]

lol

[Alien5]

well, dont feel YOU need to reply here jimbo12345 why not Save YOUR time!

Hang around an office, learn to SPELL!

lol you spell "are" with an "e" you donkey.

i'll post here more often now i know how much you 2 like me here....hahahaha n00bs.

The word "to" does not have any numbers in it, nor should it be replaced with a number (particularly when you are attempting to ridicule someone about their spelling). Also, before berating someone about their spelling, it might be an idea to brush up on your grammar.


Edit: Oh, and how many times are you going to edit that post? It's never going to be "good". yeah like you innit

[manker]

The word "to" does not have any numbers in it, nor should it be replaced with a number (particularly when you are attempting to ridicule someone about their spelling). Also, before berating someone about their spelling, it might be an idea to brush up on your grammar.


Edit: Oh, and how many times are you going to edit that post? It's never going to be "good". yeah like you innit
For a mong, that was a great comeback :clap:

[CrabGirl]

yeah like you innit
For a mong, that was a great comeback :clap:


Careful, he might rhyme manker with wanker next, awing and shocking us all. :dry:

[MCHeshPants420]

The word "to" does not have any numbers in it, nor should it be replaced with a number (particularly when you are attempting to ridicule someone about their spelling). Also, before berating someone about their spelling, it might be an idea to brush up on your grammar.


Edit: Oh, and how many times are you going to edit that post? It's never going to be "good". my keboard is fooked, i didnt know it was a spelling contest.


So this community you rep, is it the Valley of the Idiots? Land of the Lackwits? Mongtard Mansion?

[Alien5]

now a woman wants to slag me off too, go do the ironing or sumthin you tramp.

[manker]

For a mong, that was a great comeback :clap:


Careful, he might rhyme manker with wanker next, awing and shocking us all. :dry:
It'll be to his financial detriment, I do believe Busyman has patented that particular monolith of merkin wit.

===

Btw, did I read that you've given up drinking for a month - what's all that about?

You do know that a month has at least 4 weekends contained within it.

[manker]

'Mongtard Mansion' :glag:

[MCHeshPants420]

now a woman wants to slag me off too, go do the ironing or sumthin you tramp.

Ah, so you rep a community of misogynists.

[Alien5]

you forgot to insult me manker

[manker]

you forgot to insult me manker
No I didn't - you just didn't understand when I did :)

[Alien5]

insult me properly next time

[CrabGirl]

now a woman wants to slag me off too, go do the ironing or sumthin you tramp.

A tramp ironing? Surely that's a contradiction in terms?

[CrabGirl]

===

Btw, did I read that you've given up drinking for a month - what's all that about?

You do know that a month has at least 4 weekends contained within it.


Just cutting back for a bit before Christmas. Giving my liver, my wallet and my waistline a break. I'm going on a work's do next tuesday...If I can get away with not drinking on a night out with a wine-trading company then indeed my will is great.

[Alien5]

exactly

[CrabGirl]

Cockshaft.

[JPaul]

now a woman wants to slag me off too, go do the ironing or sumthin you tramp.

Hoi, don't call my Sister a tramp.

Community Rep, you do know that's supposed to mean that you represent something. Insulting women is it, that's both big and clever.

[CrabGirl]

now a woman wants to slag me off too, go do the ironing or sumthin you tramp.

Hoi, don't call my Sister a tramp.

Community Rep, you do know that's supposed to mean that you represent something. Insulting women is it, that's both big and clever.

Cheers big bro...

He's just a kid though, and a bit of a thicky, and I get the feeling he's a bit awkward around women. He's probably just voicing the way he feels about the female members of his family, because they've found out about his little nocturnal "accidents". Poor confused dear.

[JPaul]

Transefence you say. That would certainly make sence.

What's the opposite of oedipal.

[Alien5]

http://img515.imageshack.us/img515/5440/sxct003hv7.png

[Snee]

Transefence you say. That would certainly make sence.

What's the opposite of oedipal.

Something like an Elektra complex? :unsure:


EDit: Naw, that's more its counterpart.

[NeoTheOne]

"univerity" ?


He's too Kool for Skool....or too poor to go.

LMFAOOOOOOOOOo thats the funniest line ever

[Smith]

Enjoy the country you get deported to :)

[jimbo12345]

like i said...certificate arrived, and passed the "stringent" testing system here....

So no more problems. Cheers to the girl that PM'd me to sort this out for me. 25 pounds a bargain.

I hope she aint got crabs tho....natural yoghurt love, yeah?

[CrabGirl]

Are you trying to "subtly" infer that I helped you obtain a fraudulent university certificate?

Perjury for sure.

[jimbo12345]

Haha....not you!

You removed the "cnut" from your post i see...

That is generally the area of said Clap.

[CrabGirl]

Haha....not you!

You removed the "cnut" from your post i see...

That is generally the area of said Clap.


Fine, then I'll un-report your post.

I didn't remove a cnut. I removed a cunt.

[jimbo12345]

I mean, the crab quote was about you. The people who sorted my certificate out sent me the PM poll going around about you.

I said i dont reckon you do...so back off a bit! Have a dig at the guys who started it.

And by the number of replies, i see you are quite popular here.

Christ....get a grip love.

[CrabGirl]

I mean, the crab quote was about you. The people who sorted my certificate out sent me the PM poll going around about you.

I said i dont reckon you do...so back off a bit! Have a dig at the guys who started it.

And by the number of replies, i see you are quite popular here.

Christ....get a grip love.

Actually I do, and I'm proud of it.

But thanks for the advice love.

[jimbo12345]

Stunned...to say the least.

Considering your range of language, and the fact you are from Devon, suggested to many that it was unlikely the cobwebs had been swept away from that particular area in a long while. Also, back to the Devon issue, i didnt think you could catch crabs off sheep/other such livestock/poultry/your own family....

i stand corrected

[Barbarossa]

Anyway, which fake British university did you get a certificate for, as a matter of interest :unsure:

[jimbo12345]

well, as your interested, i have a Ba, but i said i had an MBA. They wouldnt accept my Ba, so i needed an MBA asap.

I wont say which uni, as i am studying my MBA online there. But i finish in a few months, so i dont see it as so much a bad thing, just bad logistics for me time-wise, i'm definitely gonna get the MBA.

[CrabGirl]

Stunned...to say the least.

Considering your range of language, and the fact you are from Devon, suggested to many that it was unlikely the cobwebs had been swept away from that particular area in a long while. Also, back to the Devon issue, i didnt think you could catch crabs off sheep/other such livestock/poultry/your own family....

i stand corrected

Why is Devon covered in cobwebs, and why am I responsible for that? Am I some sort of county-covering spider? Does the fact that I do not originate in Devon change my arachnid status? You can't catch crabs off sheep or the other sources you mentioned because crabs live in intertidal and shallow coastal areas, not in fields.

Please re-stand corrected.

[jimbo12345]

pmsl...i refer to the cobwebs covering your sexual organs...i.e they haven't been used in a while.

Crabs is (a very well known) phrase for pubic-lice.

I don't feel i need to stand again, as i was never really wrong was i?

[jimbo12345]

and as part ofthe education process, and for the fact words confuse you so much, here's a picture of a pubic-louse i found on google...can you see why they're called crabs now?

Poor Devon....trying to get rid of their stigma, and you move in!

[manker]

like i said...certificate arrived, and passed the "stringent" testing system here....

So no more problems. Cheers to the girl that PM'd me to sort this out for me. 25 pounds a bargain.

I hope she aint got crabs tho....natural yoghurt love, yeah?
Natural yoghurt is good for the treatment of thrush rather than pubic lice ... but don't let that put you off posting.

It's nice to have someone literate join up :happy:

[jimbo12345]

Are you trying to "subtly" infer that I helped you obtain a fraudulent university certificate?

Perjury for sure.


And, i think you need to know that perjury is the act of lying or making verifiably false statements on a material matter under oath or affirmation under a court of law or in any of various sworn statements in writing.

This is neither a court of law, and, in no way means a statement about you supplying false certification.

This is closer to slander( and thats not an actor on Friends), although slander refers to an oral deffamation of character, and this is clearly a written comment.

[manker]

So libel, then :dabs:

[jimbo12345]

Ah, natural yoghurt does cure thrush, but natural yoghurt contains natural enzymes and bacterium which will (slowly) kill said pubic-lice.

Other than over the counter remedies, petrol will do a good job. But not a good idea to be near a naked flame during this process, as the burning sensation will be slightly worse than a splash of thrush.

[jimbo12345]

defamation - an abusive attack on a person's character or good name.

She doesnt have a good name. And lacks character some what.

Maybe the lice could sue...they seem to have the worse deal here, and the hgher IQ

[manker]

Ah, natural yoghurt does cure thrush, but natural yoghurt contains natural enzymes and bacterium which will (slowly) kill said pubic-lice.
I think you just got mixed up :)

[CrabGirl]

Ah, natural yoghurt does cure thrush, but natural yoghurt contains natural enzymes and bacterium which will (slowly) kill said pubic-lice.

Other than over the counter remedies, petrol will do a good job. But not a good idea to be near a naked flame during this process, as the burning sensation will be slightly worse than a splash of thrush.

The only way yoghurt can kill pubic lice is if it drowns them. Which natural enzymes present in yoghurt can kill a louse? And how does a single bacterium contribute to the death of said louse?

[CrabGirl]

defamation - an abusive attack on a person's character or good name.

She doesnt have a good name. And lacks character some what.

Maybe the lice could sue...they seem to have the worse deal here, and the hgher IQ


Do you know, you are spot on sunshine! Everybody here hates me, I'm a bit bland and insipid, and I left school at 15 to become a single mum. I've now got four kids by three different dads and I've got a part time job in a third-rate supermarket. Most of what I own is on hire purchase, and most of my income comes from the state. Stop rubbing your superiority in my face will you. You make me feel bad about myself

[manker]

CrabGirl is one of my babymommas :happy:

[CrabGirl]

CrabGirl is one of my babymommas :happy:

Yeh and you know you owe me. Lil Tyrone needs new shoes honey.

[manker]

CrabGirl is one of my babymommas :happy:

Yeh and you know you owe me. Lil Tyrone needs new shoes honey.
Oh no you didn't.

Girl, if you've not moved your computer to the kitchen you better high-tail yo fine black ass back in there right now.

[jimbo12345]

ok...back to how yoghurt kills crabs.

Yoghurt contains three very useful forms of bacteria...namely Bifidobacteria, Acidophilus and Lactobacillus. A combination of these in yoghurt create lactose acid, which literally breaks down certain proteins.

Now. This is the interesting part. The exxo-sceleton of a pubic louse is made up of complex proteins, creating a soft shell for the little dude to survive within. Over time (as i pointed out earlier) the 3 bacterium and the lactose acid above will dissolve the louse outer shell, thus killing it in a most terrible way.

Also, 2 of the three bacteria above help the body stimulate the production of vitamin b, as its the bodies way of breaking down lactose acid, both internally an externally. Go to your chemist, as i do not remember the name, and you'll find that in several remedies a chemical compound, based on the properties of vitamin b, is present, as in large doses of many vitamins, even to humans, is highly poisonous.

So the yoghurt fucks the louse from two angles.

Yoghurt, because of the vit b compound, is also used as a moisturiser, because it breaks down dead skin cells and, again, promotes the production of Vitamin B. No food, the little fuckers have no way of surviving.

Go on....ask me another.

[manker]

I daresay that you're right - enough yoghurt, applied regularly enough, will eventually break down a louse's outer shell ... but we're talking about pubic lice.

Why would anyone spread yoghurt over their genitals for long enough to kill crabs when they could buy a remedy from the chemist which would complete the task in less than an hour.

They wouldn't. End of.

[jimbo12345]

I also left school without qualifications, lived off the state for a year, and had a kid. No family for help, drug probs.....etc...etc..

My turning point was when a friend said 'are you gonna lie down and let your scenario screwyou for life?'

So i put myself through college, while working at a supermarket and also as a binman.

I also put myself through uni, and i'm putting myself through my mba now, as was the point of this thread. I now work as a business analyst for a great company. My son is now 8yo, goes to a good school. Yes, his mother and me arent the best of friends, but hes happy i believe.

So why you tell me this, is beyond me. Maybe for others to offer you pity that you started an argument, and lost. Badly.And continued it.

Your 29, u have 3 beautiful kids and live in a nice part of the world. To me,you have success in a different way, that other would be very envious of. And, you are only 29...you have all the possibilities ahead of you.

You say you get money off the state, most people do! But they also do grants for single parents to return to education, i.e. if you spent less time posting on here and more time on an online uni course, u can get to where you dreamed.

Rise and conquer Ms Crab.... the fuures yours for the taking.


defamation - an abusive attack on a person's character or good name.

She doesnt have a good name. And lacks character some what.

Maybe the lice could sue...they seem to have the worse deal here, and the hgher IQ


Do you know, you are spot on sunshine! Everybody here hates me, I'm a bit bland and insipid, and I left school at 15 to become a single mum. I've now got four kids by three different dads and I've got a part time job in a third-rate supermarket. Most of what I own is on hire purchase, and most of my income comes from the state. Stop rubbing your superiority in my face will you. You make me feel bad about myself

[MCHeshPants420]

I eat shedloads of yoghurts but I still catch crabs so, in conclusion, poppycock!

[MCHeshPants420]

Where the hell does Crabgirl keep these kids then? I'm pretty sure I haven't seen any around our flat. :dabs:

[manker]

So i put myself through college, while working at a supermarket and also as a binman.So, you're an expert in the field ... what do you think of this little beauty :smilie4:

http://img158.exs.cx/img158/6865/picture002456vi.jpg

[100%]

Why not simply go for a swim, bath etc - suffocation seems faster than degrading the shell, in that case why not simply swim in vinegar.

Youghurt is used by women to remove vaginal mushroom harvesting.

You guys are killing my love for yoghurt by the way.

edit: nice bin nice, polish regularly?

[manker]

I also left school without qualifications, lived off the state for a year, and had a kid. No family for help, drug probs.....etc...etc..

My turning point was when a friend said 'are you gonna lie down and let your scenario screwyou for life?'

So i put myself through college, while working at a supermarket and also as a binman.

I also put myself through uni, and i'm putting myself through my mba now, as was the point of this thread. I now work as a business analyst for a great company. My son is now 8yo, goes to a good school. Yes, his mother and me arent the best of friends, but hes happy i believe.

So why you tell me this, is beyond me. Maybe for others to offer you pity that you started an argument, and lost. Badly.And continued it.

Your 29, u have 3 beautiful kids and live in a nice part of the world. To me,you have success in a different way, that other would be very envious of. And, you are only 29...you have all the possibilities ahead of you.

You say you get money off the state, most people do! But they also do grants for single parents to return to education, i.e. if you spent less time posting on here and more time on an online uni course, u can get to where you dreamed.

Rise and conquer Ms Crab.... the fuures yours for the taking.




Do you know, you are spot on sunshine! Everybody here hates me, I'm a bit bland and insipid, and I left school at 15 to become a single mum. I've now got four kids by three different dads and I've got a part time job in a third-rate supermarket. Most of what I own is on hire purchase, and most of my income comes from the state. Stop rubbing your superiority in my face will you. You make me feel bad about myself
Sarcasm > jimbo.

[jimbo12345]

I daresay that you're right - enough yoghurt, applied regularly enough, will eventually break down a louse's outer shell ... but we're talking about pubic lice.

Why would anyone spread yoghurt over their genitals for long enough to kill crabs when they could buy a remedy from the chemist which would complete the task in less than an hour.

They wouldn't. End of.

Quite.

Why do people spread a pot of yoghurt over their burny bits instead of going to the doctor and getting a pretty instant cure for thrush? Two reasons:

1 - the embarrassment of going to the doctor and asking for the stuff

2 - some of the chemicals in the medication are pretty harsh to some people skin and dangerous to pregnant people, so a natural, more gentle cure is the only way they can go.

And it would only take a dose or two over an hour or two to get rid of the lice.

Also, considering the Devon area stereotype, i would have thought yoghurt was a pretty easy thing to get hold of.

Saying that, shaving the bush would be a good option also.

End of.

[jimbo12345]

I eat shedloads of yoghurts but I still catch crabs so, in conclusion, poppycock!


You have to apply to infected area. Eating it does sod all for thrush/crabs.

But you will have healthier skin, better breathe, less chance of gum disease and a tasty snack.

[manker]

I eat shedloads of yoghurts but I still catch crabs so, in conclusion, poppycock!


You have to apply to infected area. Eating it does sod all for thrush/crabs.

But you will have healthier skin, better breathe, less chance of gum disease and a tasty snack.
Sarcasm > jimbo.

[jimbo12345]

So i put myself through college, while working at a supermarket and also as a binman.So, you're an expert in the field ... what do you think of this little beauty :smilie4:

http://img158.exs.cx/img158/6865/picture002456vi.jpg

Thats a beauty mate....the ones i dealt with were less shiney and had wheels on.
And stunk.

[jimbo12345]

You have to apply to infected area. Eating it does sod all for thrush/crabs.

But you will have healthier skin, better breathe, less chance of gum disease and a tasty snack.
Sarcasm > jimbo.


Sarcasm > manker

i've read your other posts...:P

[MCHeshPants420]

I eat shedloads of yoghurts but I still catch crabs so, in conclusion, poppycock!


You have to apply to infected area. Eating it does sod all for thrush/crabs.

But you will have healthier skin, better breathe, less chance of gum disease and a tasty snack.

I apply it to the infected areas and then eat it? :pinch:

To be honest I'll stick to shaving all my body hair off every few weeks.

[CrabGirl]

I also left school without qualifications, lived off the state for a year, and had a kid. No family for help, drug probs.....etc...etc..

My turning point was when a friend said 'are you gonna lie down and let your scenario screwyou for life?'

So i put myself through college, while working at a supermarket and also as a binman.

I also put myself through uni, and i'm putting myself through my mba now, as was the point of this thread. I now work as a business analyst for a great company. My son is now 8yo, goes to a good school. Yes, his mother and me arent the best of friends, but hes happy i believe.

So why you tell me this, is beyond me. Maybe for others to offer you pity that you started an argument, and lost. Badly.And continued it.

Your 29, u have 3 beautiful kids and live in a nice part of the world. To me,you have success in a different way, that other would be very envious of. And, you are only 29...you have all the possibilities ahead of you.

You say you get money off the state, most people do! But they also do grants for single parents to return to education, i.e. if you spent less time posting on here and more time on an online uni course, u can get to where you dreamed.

Rise and conquer Ms Crab.... the fuures yours for the taking.

Sarcasm > jimbo.


Well done on your achievements in the face of adversity. You should be proud of yourself. Now, if you'd only stop allowing people to crank your handle then you'd fine. Thanks for the advice about the online course honey but I don't need to fake my credentials, I already have them from a proper university.

My pseudo-kids are fugly, not beautiful, which is why I hide them in a cupboard when Cheese comes home.

[manker]

I daresay that you're right - enough yoghurt, applied regularly enough, will eventually break down a louse's outer shell ... but we're talking about pubic lice.

Why would anyone spread yoghurt over their genitals for long enough to kill crabs when they could buy a remedy from the chemist which would complete the task in less than an hour.

They wouldn't. End of.

Quite.

Why do people spread a pot of yoghurt over their burny bits instead of going to the doctor and getting a pretty instant cure for thrush? Two reasons:

1 - the embarrassment of going to the doctor and asking for the stuff

2 - some of the chemicals in the medication are pretty harsh to some people skin and dangerous to pregnant people, so a natural, more gentle cure is the only way they can go.

And it would only take a dose or two over an hour or two to get rid of the lice.

Also, considering the Devon area stereotype, i would have thought yoghurt was a pretty easy thing to get hold of.

Saying that, shaving the bush would be a good option also.

End of.
I like the shaving of the bush option. Any sensible person would opt for that.

I doubt, however, that two liberal applications of yoghurt would kill all of the lice - and certainly not the eggs. Also, what if they're those lice that burrow and lay eggs under the skin.

I may have made that up, about the burrowing, but I'm fairly confident a bloke in the pub told me it's true.

[manker]

Sarcasm > jimbo.


Sarcasm > manker

i've read your other posts...:P
Yeah, I'm just a beginner.

[jimbo12345]

Sarcasm > jimbo.


Well done on your achievements in the face of adversity. You should be proud of yourself. Now, if you'd only stop allowing people to crank your handle then you'd fine. Thanks for the advice about the online course honey but I don't need to fake my credentials, I already have them from a proper university.

My pseudo-kids are fugly, not beautiful, which is why I hide them in a cupboard when Cheese comes home.


I feel abused....do it again!;)

[CrabGirl]

Quite.

Why do people spread a pot of yoghurt over their burny bits instead of going to the doctor and getting a pretty instant cure for thrush? Two reasons:

1 - the embarrassment of going to the doctor and asking for the stuff

2 - some of the chemicals in the medication are pretty harsh to some people skin and dangerous to pregnant people, so a natural, more gentle cure is the only way they can go.

And it would only take a dose or two over an hour or two to get rid of the lice.

Also, considering the Devon area stereotype, i would have thought yoghurt was a pretty easy thing to get hold of.

Saying that, shaving the bush would be a good option also.

End of.
I like the shaving of the bush option. Any sensible person would opt for that.

I doubt, however, that two liberal applications of yoghurt would kill all of the lice - and certainly not the eggs. Also, what if they're those lice that burrow and lay eggs under the skin.

I may have made that up, about the burrowing, but I'm fairly confident a bloke in the pub told me it's true.

You're thinking of Botfly. Yoghurt can't kill those.

[jimbo12345]

Sarcasm > manker

i've read your other posts...:P
Yeah, I'm just a beginner.


Posts: 29,975

Fuck....i'd hate to know what an expert is on here.


When will my NooB statues change, by the way.

[manker]

So, you're an expert in the field ... what do you think of this little beauty :smilie4:

http://img158.exs.cx/img158/6865/picture002456vi.jpg

Thats a beauty mate....the ones i dealt with were less shiney and had wheels on.
And stunk.
Oh so you meant that you emptied household rubbish bins into dustcarts and you're not an expert on kitchen bins. My bad. I had no idea. Absolutely none.

I'll have to look elsewhere to get an informed opinion on my hawt piece of chrome.

[manker]

Yeah, I'm just a beginner.


Posts: 29,975

Fuck....i'd hate to know what an expert is on here.


When will my NooB statues change, by the way.
When you log into your user control panel and change your user title to something else.

[jimbo12345]

I like the shaving of the bush option. Any sensible person would opt for that.

I doubt, however, that two liberal applications of yoghurt would kill all of the lice - and certainly not the eggs. Also, what if they're those lice that burrow and lay eggs under the skin.

I may have made that up, about the burrowing, but I'm fairly confident a bloke in the pub told me it's true.

You're thinking of Botfly. Yoghurt can't kill those.


Yeah, yoghurt and vinegars great, but botflies, buggared if i know.
and what the hell would you be doing to get those infecting your bush?

[CrabGirl]

Isn't vinegar for colds, with cabbage leaves, plastered on one's chest? I'm sure my mum told me that.

Some species of botfly apparently burrow into the testes of rodents. So yeh, I did rude things to a rat.

[manker]

You're thinking of Botfly. Yoghurt can't kill those.


Yeah, yoghurt and vinegars great, but botflies, buggared if i know.
and what the hell would you be doing to get those infecting your bush?
Duno, I'll ask my mate - who is absolutely, positively not me - wtf he was shagging to get infected with that :ermm:

[jimbo12345]

Thats a beauty mate....the ones i dealt with were less shiney and had wheels on.
And stunk.
Oh so you meant that you emptied household rubbish bins into dustcarts and you're not an expert on kitchen bins. My bad. I had no idea. Absolutely none.

I'll have to look elsewhere to get an informed opinion on my hawt piece of chrome.


Yep, i never worked in the bin retail sector.

But, in my uneducated opinion,thats a cracking bin. You must be proud. I can only aspire to own such a piece of workmanship.

Is that you in the reflection? Are you the killer in the Scream movies?

[jimbo12345]

Yeah, yoghurt and vinegars great, but botflies, buggared if i know.
and what the hell would you be doing to get those infecting your bush?
Duno, I'll ask my mate - who is absolutely, positively not me - wtf he was shagging to get infected with that :ermm:

Not sure if abortions the way to go here.Tell him to keep them. he could be the first man to give birth. Must be a money-making scheme somewhere.

[manker]

Oh so you meant that you emptied household rubbish bins into dustcarts and you're not an expert on kitchen bins. My bad. I had no idea. Absolutely none.

I'll have to look elsewhere to get an informed opinion on my hawt piece of chrome.


Yep, i never worked in the bin retail sector.

But, in my uneducated opinion,thats a cracking bin. You must be proud. I can only aspire to own such a piece of workmanship.

Is that you in the reflection? Are you the killer in the Scream movies?
Techically, it's not mine - altho' one day I aspire to own such a piece of craftsmanship.

It was a gift for a loved one :smilie4:

[jimbo12345]

Isn't vinegar for colds, with cabbage leaves, plastered on one's chest? I'm sure my mum told me that.

Some species of botfly apparently burrow into the testes of rodents. So yeh, I did rude things to a rat.


Vinegars great! Not sure abot the legitamacy of the botflies burrowing into rodent testis....surely they are too small a target.

If i was a bot fly, i'd go for an elephant. A sure thing.

[jimbo12345]

Yep, i never worked in the bin retail sector.

But, in my uneducated opinion,thats a cracking bin. You must be proud. I can only aspire to own such a piece of workmanship.

Is that you in the reflection? Are you the killer in the Scream movies?
Techically, it's not mine - altho' one day I aspire to own such a piece of craftsmanship.

It was a gift for a loved one :smilie4:

Manker....i dont know you, but you've got style mate!

Most guys would buy flowers, chocolates and all the other crap men think women want.

You buy yours a trash can.

i see your thinking "whilst your in their admiring the bin, cook me a pie, petal."

[manker]

Techically, it's not mine - altho' one day I aspire to own such a piece of craftsmanship.

It was a gift for a loved one :smilie4:

Manker....i dont know you, but you've got style mate!

Yeah, I know ... but try telling these cunts that :dry:


i see your thinking "whilst you're in there admiring the bin, cook me a pie, petal.":lol: :smilie4:

[CrabGirl]

Isn't vinegar for colds, with cabbage leaves, plastered on one's chest? I'm sure my mum told me that.

Some species of botfly apparently burrow into the testes of rodents. So yeh, I did rude things to a rat.


Vinegars great! Not sure abot the legitamacy of the botflies burrowing into rodent testis....surely they are too small a target.

If i was a bot fly, i'd go for an elephant. A sure thing.

Well wiki says it so it must be true:P

I know that elephants share 99% of their DNA with the Hyrax, but I'm not sure an elephant can be classified as a rodent.

[CrabGirl]

Techically, it's not mine - altho' one day I aspire to own such a piece of craftsmanship.

It was a gift for a loved one :smilie4:

Manker....i dont know you, but you've got style mate!



Never a truer word spoken in jest.

Apart from his penchant for silver shoes of course. :dry:

[Barbarossa]

I know that elephants share 99% of their DNA with the Hyrax, but I'm not sure an elephant can be classified as a rodent.
You'd certainly know about it if you had an infestation of elephants in your attic :blink:

[manker]

Btw, unless this is some kind of biologist rod ... I can't see a fly burrowing into the supertuff testes of a pachyderm :ermm:

[manker]

Manker....i dont know you, but you've got style mate!



Never a truer word spoken in jest.

Apart from his penchant for silver shoes of course. :dry:
I have gold ones too - for special occasions.

[jimbo12345]

Manker....i dont know you, but you've got style mate!



Never a truer word spoken in jest.

Apart from his penchant for silver shoes of course. :dry:


I was serious...i can just picture the conversation.

"what do you want for your birthday?"
"get me something big and sparkly!!"

I can also imagine the lucky ladies face upon receiving such a fine article of kitchenware.

Silver shoes...mmmmm.:ermm:

[jimbo12345]

Btw, unless this is some kind of biologist rod ... I can't see a fly burrowing into the supertuff testes of a pachyderm :ermm:

This is true....and i also learned a new word for the day - pachyderm. In fact 2...Hyrax as well.

Ok...i meant due to the sizr difference between a rodents nuts and an elephants.

But surely a horses cant be too hard to penetrate?

[manker]

But surely a horse cant be too hard to penetrate?This might be totally unrelated - but are you originally from Cornwall :unsure:

[CrabGirl]

Oh god. Penetrating horses. Just reminds me of the bit in Jackass 2 with the horse semen. I actually retched.

Anyhow my lil interweb-darlings. I'm off to work. See ya'll after nine.

[manker]

Oh god. Penetrating horses. Just reminds me of the bit in Jackass 2 with the horse semen. I actually retched.

Anyhow my lil interweb-darlings. I'm off to work. See ya'll after nine.
Watch Dirty Sanchez. I think it pwns Jackass, but I'm a bit biased.

Laterzzz.

[jimbo12345]

But surely a horse cant be too hard to penetrate?This might be totally unrelated - but are you originally from Cornwall :unsure:

Nah, originally from Wales, then grew up in Yorkshire.

bad combination.

Horse penetration is as common as crome bin-buyers there.

[manker]

http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/9554/glagpinchao4.gif

[JPaul]

Excellent thread.

It's to all of your credit.

[Alien5]

wot even me? :unsure:

[JPaul]

I think it can be taken as read that you are excluded, given your habit of insulting people's sisters.

[Alien5]

Excellent thread.

It's to all of your credit except me for insulting some cunt of a sister

[CrabGirl]

Hoi! Chill the feck out will you?

[CrabGirl]

Oh god. Penetrating horses. Just reminds me of the bit in Jackass 2 with the horse semen. I actually retched.

Anyhow my lil interweb-darlings. I'm off to work. See ya'll after nine.
Watch Dirty Sanchez. I think it pwns Jackass, but I'm a bit biased.

Laterzzz.

I might. But I know someone who shagged Dan Joyce and told me things...so I always shudder a bit.

[Alien5]

Hoi! Chill the feck out will you? i was joking, sorry.

[CrabGirl]

No problem. I am probably a bit of a cunt as a sister actually, so you were probably right!

[Alien5]

no you're not....probably

[JPaul]

No problem. I am probably a bit of a cunt as a sister actually,

I've never found that to be the case. :D

[CrabGirl]

No problem. I am probably a bit of a cunt as a sister actually,

I've never found that to be the case. :D

:lol: That's good to know.

[JPaul]

I've never found that to be the case. :D

:lol: That's good to know.

I'm practicing my equivocating, it's a useful talent in my line of work.

[CrabGirl]

:lol: That's good to know.

I'm practicing my equivocating, it's a useful talent in my line of work.

As an Equivocator? Yes, I can see how that would work.

Just as being an alcoholic is in mine.

[jimbo12345]

:lol: That's good to know.

I'm practicing my equivocating, it's a useful talent in my line of work.


What line of work??

I'm betting either a lawyer, a teacher, a politician, or a priest....

[Snee]

Or a ninja.

[Alien5]

or a ninja priest...

[Chip Monk]

I'm practicing my equivocating, it's a useful talent in my line of work.


What line of work??

I'm betting either a lawyer, a teacher, a politician, or a priest....

You can't really use "either" then have four options, Shirley.

I'd always taken her to be either a builder or a journalist.

[jimbo12345]

either suggests options...so four is ok. either this,this, this or this

Jpaul is a girl too? Christ...i get this wrong everytime.

[bestman]

Hey ! Guys Watz Up With This Fake British Univercity Cert

[manker]

either suggests options...so four is ok. either this,this, this or this

Jpaul is a girl too? Christ...i get this wrong everytime.
JPaul has no profession, as such - she's a kept man, if you were wondering.


She has a penchant for cookery; coq au vin, garlic bread, omlettes and all that foreign frippery.

[Chip Monk]

either suggests options...so four is ok. either this,this, this or this

Jpaul is a girl too? Christ...i get this wrong everytime.

If it's used as a determiner then it means one or the other, of two. It's coordinating meaning can be more than two however you need to place "or" between the options. So it would be a lawyer or a teacher or a ... etc.

You used the word to do one thing then chose a different, inappropriate meaning. However you are at least making the effort and it is appreciated.

Yes JPaul is a girl, her sister is also a member of the forum. Unmarried mother and a bit of a tax dodger but nice all the same. Certainly easier to get along with than Jean.

[bestman]

Some Is Going To Gail

[bestman]

Ok! Here Is Wat You Do
Why Don't You Skeep Town

[manker]

Ok! Here Is Wat You Do
Why Don't You Skeep Town
Welcome to the forum - from us here at FST, direct to you in Mexico.

[Barbarossa]

Ok! Here Is Wat You Do
Why Don't You Skeep Town

Are you from Barcelona by any chance? :unsure:




EDIT :pinch: too slow

[manker]

Ok! Here Is Wat You Do
Why Don't You Skeep Town

Are you from Barcelona by any chance? :unsure:
That works too - I was thinking of the Americans reading this thread.

Obviously, Barcelona is too far away to be of any consequence to them so they won't have heard of it, as is their wont - but Mexico is where they get fireworks, labour and cheap dental treatment.

[Barbarossa]

You're ever so considerate to our cousins across the pond, it's to your credit :smilie4:

[manker]

I do try.

===

I can't stop saying 'why don't you skeep town' out loud in a Spanish accent :pinch:

Thank feck it's lunchtime so I'm on my own here.

[Chip Monk]

I thought you worked in the attic anyway and your peons were beneath you, literally and figuratively.

[manker]

I thought you worked in the attic anyway and your peons were beneath you, literally and figuratively.
I do work upstairs but Friday is the day they clean the building (no point paying a cleaner when there are already women working for me), so all through the day they're back and forth the kitchen next to my office - getting mops, vacuum cleaners and dusters, I presume.

One of them hearing me speak in a comical accent would destroy the air of mystique I have taken pains to create.

[jimbo12345]

[quote=jimbo12345;1531046
Yes JPaul is a girl, her sister is also a member of the forum. Unmarried mother and a bit of a tax dodger but nice all the same. Certainly easier to get along with than Jean.

Ahh....crabgirl by any chance?

[manker]

CrabGirl? God no.

Whatever gave you that idea.

[Chip Monk]

Ahh....crabgirl by any chance?

Indeed.

Ignore manker, he has a very strange sense of "humour".

[manker]

How very dare you.

[Gripper]

I lost the plot of this thread when you started talking about crab flavoured yoghurt being et off peoples genitalia. :dabs:

[CrabGirl]

Ahh....crabgirl by any chance?

I am only related to at least three people on this forum.

I think

[100%]

genetically or mentally?

[jimbo12345]

I lost the plot of this thread when you started talking about crab flavoured yoghurt being et off peoples genitalia. :dabs:

But did this make you horny? I'm thinking so.

Crab flavoured yoghurt...i have the nastiest hangover i've ever had...and the thought of that make me cough up sick.

I love this forum.

[CrabGirl]

I lost the plot of this thread when you started talking about crab flavoured yoghurt being et off peoples genitalia. :dabs:

But did this make you horny? I'm thinking so.

Crab flavoured yoghurt...i have the nastiest hangover i've ever had...and the thought of that make me cough up sick.

I love this forum.

A hangover at four in the morning? Lightweight.

Tuna-flavoured custard. Chocolate and Sardine muffins.

[jimbo12345]

But did this make you horny? I'm thinking so.

Crab flavoured yoghurt...i have the nastiest hangover i've ever had...and the thought of that make me cough up sick.

I love this forum.

A hangover at four in the morning? Lightweight.

Tuna-flavoured custard. Chocolate and Sardine muffins.

I'm in China, i posted it at 12pm here, 4 hours after i got home. LiteWeight.

[CrabGirl]

So you got home at 8pm? Now that's what I call a rawking night....

Says the girl who went to bed early, had one glass of wine, watched crap tv and read her book

[Jagarga]

i have a hangover from all the jaigermeifter i drank last night.