Worst gift you ever received and given... [Archive]

jimbo12345

11-02-2006, 12:46 PM

Having read Manker bought his loved one a bin as a gift....whats the worst gift anyones ever bought you?

My grandmother buying me the biggest box of condoms i've ever seen when i was 16 "as i was old enough". Then realising upon use of condom, they were all french ticklers and randomly flavored of Jelly bellys.. Maybe worse thinking my nan was a bit perverted.

And whats the worst thing you've bought for someone?

Me....gotta be a blender for my ex...as i like smoothies. She's an ex....so i stole the blender back.

Barbarossa

11-02-2006, 12:49 PM

I bought my missus a vegetable steamer once. It's still in the box :dabs:

MCHeshPants420

11-02-2006, 12:50 PM

Crabs.

CrabGirl

11-02-2006, 12:51 PM

A dangly car-deoderisor thingy. I can't drive, and I don't own a car, let alone a smelly one.

CrabGirl

11-02-2006, 12:52 PM

Crabs.

Hoi. You said you really liked them. Especially Cyril, the operatic crab.

I thought you'd say the bug zapping tennis racket I bought you.

manker

11-02-2006, 12:55 PM

Maybe worse thinking my nan was a bit perverted.She probably meant for you to use them on other girls.

===

Worst present I ever got was when CrabGirl bought me a book on the finer points of grammar for my birthday earlier this year ... talk about trying to teach Grandma to suck eggs (no offence, jimbo).

(Only joking, me dear - it was a great read and some parts had me in stitches ... maybe a bit sad to admit that :unsure:).

CrabGirl

11-02-2006, 12:57 PM

manker

11-02-2006, 12:59 PM

Highlight the post :lol: :rolleyes:

CrabGirl

11-02-2006, 01:02 PM

I did, noob.

manker

11-02-2006, 01:04 PM

// :emo:

jimbo12345

11-02-2006, 01:10 PM

Maybe worse thinking my nan was a bit perverted.She probably meant for you to use them on other girls.

===
Threemonths later i was told i was gonna be a father...not to my nan...thats just wrong.

Maybe should have bought another variety, as on later inspection of the box, stated "not to be used for contaception"

oxymoron...like Internet, not for porn"

Worst present I ever got was when CrabGirl bought me a book on the finer points of grammar for my birthday earlier this year ... talk about trying to teach Grandma to suck eggs (no offence, jimbo).

(Only joking, me dear - it was a great read and some parts had me in stitches ... maybe a bit sad to admit that :unsure:).

You found a grammar book funny? Care to elaborate on which parts. Though simile is close to smile....

jimbo12345

11-02-2006, 01:11 PM

I bought my missus a vegetable steamer once. It's still in the box :dabs:

U r a bloke!??:unsure:

Ooops!

manker

11-02-2006, 01:12 PM

You found a grammar book funny? Care to elaborate on which parts. Though simile is close to smile....Yeah, sure - if you fix up your quote box.

It's particularly untidy atm.

Barbarossa

11-02-2006, 01:13 PM

I bought my missus a vegetable steamer once. It's still in the box :dabs:

U r a bloke!??:unsure:

Ooops!

Yeah, so stop PMing me for pics, fag :ermm:

manker

11-02-2006, 01:14 PM

lolz

MCHeshPants420

11-02-2006, 01:14 PM

nvm

jimbo12345

11-02-2006, 01:15 PM

You found a grammar book funny? Care to elaborate on which parts. Though simile is close to smile....Yeah, sure - if you fix up your quote box.

It's particularly untidy atm.

I dont know how to....being a nOOb.

manker

11-02-2006, 01:16 PM

You should have left it as "fix up your qute box". Sounds dirty. :naughty:
It does sound quite rude ... altho' I was talking to the horse-penetrator :pinch:

jimbo12345

11-02-2006, 01:17 PM

U r a bloke!??:unsure:

Ooops!

Yeah, so stop PMing me for pics, fag :ermm:

From a guy with Barbie written twice and fluff all over his comment box, and a flag highlighting the many colours in the homosexual spectrum....i'll just smile.

hypocrite

Barbarossa

11-02-2006, 01:20 PM

I'm wasted here :emo:

jimbo12345

11-02-2006, 01:22 PM

You should have left it as "fix up your qute box". Sounds dirty. :naughty:
It does sound quite rude ... altho' I was talking to the horse-penetrator :pinch:

no....that's the fly that penetrates....i just observe.:blow::wank:

Cheese

11-02-2006, 02:07 PM

I'm wasted here :emo:

Christ, that's all you stoners ever go on about. :dry:

Barbarossa

11-02-2006, 02:11 PM

:coat:

manker

11-02-2006, 02:22 PM

I'm wasted here :emo:

Christ, that's all you stoners ever go on about. :dry:
Religious stoners :blink:

Wolfmight

11-02-2006, 04:22 PM

Worst gift I ever received: A tiny lolly-pop wrapped in TONS of tissue and dental floss with 2 quarters in it as well. The guy said the tissue was to wipe my tears of joy. Only problem was, people don't cry when they feel awkward for someone. So...I did lick and consume the lolly pop, floss the candy from my teeth, but for the tissue...I decided to wipe my ass with it instead. It was conveniently in my pocket the same time the dispenser went empty! Saved the day....

Worst gift I ever gave: Sneezing on someones cake.

Proper Bo

11-02-2006, 05:33 PM

I gave someone a badge for their birthday that said "Wearing a badge, yeah?"

no expense spared:smilie4:

JPaul

11-02-2006, 07:53 PM

Cigarettes

The gift that keeps on giving.

Mr. Mulder

11-02-2006, 07:57 PM

i once got given a caligrafy set for christmas, i can't fucking spell let alone rite :dabs:

100%

11-03-2006, 04:27 PM

i once got given a caligrafy set for christmas, i can't fucking spell let alone rite :dabs:
In the country i am residing in presently there are only 3 prof calligraphers (splee checkpls) - one who is a friend is making shit loads of money from it, but couldnt handle the freelance part of it and got a job at criminal dep as head of signature control instead.

Alien5

11-03-2006, 05:17 PM

i gave my girlfriend a pearl necklace once, she looked at me and i knew she was'nt happy.

JPaul

11-03-2006, 05:30 PM

Were they natural pearls or cultivated, some people only like them if they are natural.

MCHeshPants420

11-03-2006, 06:37 PM

I got a sweater for Christmas. what I really wanted was a screamer or a moaner.

Gripper

11-03-2006, 07:16 PM

I got a sweater for Christmas. what I really wanted was a screamer or a moaner.

:glag: from some of the post's I thought she was a moaner:whistling

JPaul

11-03-2006, 08:02 PM

I got a sweater for Christmas. what I really wanted was a screamer or a moaner.

http://www.mcbrien.plus.com/liam/img/smilies/badabumdeesh.gif

CrabGirl

11-03-2006, 08:59 PM

I got a sweater for Christmas. what I really wanted was a screamer or a moaner.

Bah. Girls don't sweat, they glow.

Not even original, and I'm sure you've posted that before. :unsure:

100%

11-03-2006, 10:04 PM

It was worth the repost
What's your sideswipe for "girls don't fart" then
they exhume?

CrabGirl

11-03-2006, 10:11 PM

They dig up dead people????

Anyway I didn't deny that girls farted. They do. But worse than boys cause they're sneaky about it. They also do the other thing....lots.

100%

11-03-2006, 10:24 PM

Please please i don't want to know what "lots" contains.
although i agree with sweat vs glow
but it depends on the lighting, even the ugliest epidermus can glow in the right light.

jimbo12345

11-04-2006, 04:26 AM

I got a sweater for Christmas. what I really wanted was a screamer or a moaner.

Bah. Girls don't sweat, they glow.

Not even original, and I'm sure you've posted that before. :unsure:

Girls dont sweat they glow?

Wtf...Leeds girls sweat like Michael Jackson in a toy shop.

A fat girl 'glows', she glows like the Chernobyl accident. And thats not a good thing.

Thin girl "glows" like an xray.

Other girls just sweat.

Fact.

CrabGirl

11-04-2006, 10:18 AM

Bah. Girls don't sweat, they glow.

Not even original, and I'm sure you've posted that before. :unsure:

Girls dont sweat they glow?

Wtf...Leeds girls sweat like Michael Jackson in a toy shop.

A fat girl 'glows', she glows like the Chernobyl accident. And thats not a good thing.

Thin girl "glows" like an xray.

Other girls just sweat.

Fact.

:lol:

Chewie

11-04-2006, 12:00 PM

My wife once bought me a foot massager. :(
It's still in its box, in her loft.

Gripper

11-04-2006, 05:04 PM

My wife once bought me a foot massager. :(
It's still in its box, in her loft.

What? Your foot is in a box in your missus's loft,man you must have pissed her off.