muchspl3
12-05-2006, 04:01 AM
The Japanese Wii Safety Manual is Crazy (http://www.gizmodo.com/gadgets/home-entertainment/the-japanese-wii-safety-manual-is-crazy-219119.php)
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7149.jpgThis crazy Japanese Wii safety manual is pretty much indicative of Japanese people's general insanity. Our theory: a secret battle between Godzilla and several Gundams in the early 1980s bombarded the whole of Japan with cosmic G-rays, which allowed then-youths to grow up and draw these weird-ass manuals.
First, hitting your husband in the face with a Wiimote is not acceptable even if you're pregnant. Do not blame it on your hormones.
Lots more after the jump.
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7152.jpgDo not pour half a bottle of orange-flavored tea onto your Wii. Anything less than half is fine.
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7150.jpgThe Wii is not a tie. (I actually did this when I was playing Zelda.)
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7154.jpgDo not attempt to control your heart with the Wiimote.
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7155.jpgDo not imitate that clip of the "smoking woman" with your Wii.
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7156.jpgWhen the Wii catches a cold, use a hypo-allergenic blanket.
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7160.jpgDo not remove the four leaf clover from your Wii. It is Nintendo's secret to motion sensing.
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7161.jpgDo not unwrap the Wii over your head.
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7162.jpgDo not attempt to produce your own twist-ties for the sensor bar. One is provided for you.
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7165.jpgTest have shown limited success with playing the Wii with your feet. However, you will produce lightning.
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7166.jpgBlu-ray discs will not work in the Wii.
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7168.jpgDo not lay out a Wii for homeless Japanese citizens. They should clean themselves up and get a job like an honorable salaryman.
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7169.jpgDo not forcibly remove Wii discs. There is an ejection mechanism. Jerk.
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7173.jpgDo not attempt to wake up the Wii when it is napping.
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7175.jpgDo not attempt to plug the nunchuk attachment into your foot. Again, lightning.
– Jason Chen
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7149.jpgThis crazy Japanese Wii safety manual is pretty much indicative of Japanese people's general insanity. Our theory: a secret battle between Godzilla and several Gundams in the early 1980s bombarded the whole of Japan with cosmic G-rays, which allowed then-youths to grow up and draw these weird-ass manuals.
First, hitting your husband in the face with a Wiimote is not acceptable even if you're pregnant. Do not blame it on your hormones.
Lots more after the jump.
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7152.jpgDo not pour half a bottle of orange-flavored tea onto your Wii. Anything less than half is fine.
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7150.jpgThe Wii is not a tie. (I actually did this when I was playing Zelda.)
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7154.jpgDo not attempt to control your heart with the Wiimote.
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7155.jpgDo not imitate that clip of the "smoking woman" with your Wii.
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7156.jpgWhen the Wii catches a cold, use a hypo-allergenic blanket.
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7160.jpgDo not remove the four leaf clover from your Wii. It is Nintendo's secret to motion sensing.
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7161.jpgDo not unwrap the Wii over your head.
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7162.jpgDo not attempt to produce your own twist-ties for the sensor bar. One is provided for you.
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7165.jpgTest have shown limited success with playing the Wii with your feet. However, you will produce lightning.
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7166.jpgBlu-ray discs will not work in the Wii.
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7168.jpgDo not lay out a Wii for homeless Japanese citizens. They should clean themselves up and get a job like an honorable salaryman.
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7169.jpgDo not forcibly remove Wii discs. There is an ejection mechanism. Jerk.
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7173.jpgDo not attempt to wake up the Wii when it is napping.
http://www.gizmodo.com/assets/resources/2006/12/wiiDSCF7175.jpgDo not attempt to plug the nunchuk attachment into your foot. Again, lightning.
– Jason Chen