Am I a Sexist.

[Mr JP Fugley]

I went to collect my Daughter from Brownies and there was a lot of wee lassies doing their Brownie promise, so the place was dead busy with parents and stuff. Loads of people not just doing the collecting thing but watching them doing their promises and us doing the clapping and supporting and stuff.

Anyway, I was there early to pick her up, because I always am. So I sits down to enjoy the festivities. Of course loads of folk start to turn up and I am like, there you go missus wummin, have a seat. She says thats OK and I'm like, no way get yerself sat down.

Anyhow, from what I can see I'm the only chap who does this. So I have to ask you younger dudes, have I in fact turned into a sexist without knowing. It's just the way I was brought up, manners and so forth.

I'm particularly interested in a burds perspective on this one.

[bunny67]

nice to see there are some gentlemen about

[CrabGirl]

Not at all. You were being considerate.

It could have gone either way for you. Sadly there are women out there who would have accused you of being sexist for letting them sit down. I would be quietly shocked and pleased that someone did that for me, because it doesn't happen very often. Women like being treated in a chivalrous manner, but for women my age it doesn't really happen because men are afraid of being called sexist, or just don't consider it.*

Do I make sense???

*unless you are stunning, or they want to get into your pants.

[DorisInsinuate]

Hells no. On the train I work hard to shove my way on to a seat, no way am I giving it up to them wimmins.

[Alien5]

I thought wimmins want to be treated equally and all that shite.

[Mr JP Fugley]

To not have behaved in such a manner would have been totally foreign to me. I couldn't have done anything else, whatever anyone else would have thought.

Two other absolutes for me. I could never walk thro' a door before a woman, I would always hold it open. I also couldn't walk on the inside of the pavement. When crossing the road I always make sure I am on the outside when we get to the other side.

To me both of these are unspoken, one simply does them in an almost unconscious way.

Perfect sense, btw.

[Gripper]

I'm with JP on this one,we are sadly a dying breed.

[DorisInsinuate]

I don't walk through a door before a woman, and I hold it open for everyone, even though I just get an annoyed grunt every time I do it.

[Proper Bo]

agree.

[Mr JP Fugley]

I don't walk through a door before a woman, and I hold it open for everyone, even though I just get an annoyed grunt every time I do it.

You're a doorman but.

[DorisInsinuate]

Are you supposed to tip doormen? I mean doorpeople (PC)

[CrabGirl]

Tip to doormen "Get a proper job"

[DorisInsinuate]

I want to be a rentboy without the gay.

Actual quote above from a conversation I heard from a friend about a conversation they had with a guy who was talking to this guy in the pub.

[Mr JP Fugley]

Tip to doormen "Get a proper job"

That's harsh on a manker level.

[Midnight720]

Are you supposed to tip doormen? I mean doorpeople (PC)


hmm i think doormen is okay.... i don't recall ever seeing a doorwoman.

[CrabGirl]

:glag: I'm a bit sore from a conversation with a solicitor who phoned my work earlier today. Conversation went like this...

"Hello, My name is crabgirl how can I help"
"I'm sueing you. I want to speak to a director"
"Ok sir, Can I have your name please."
"No. I want to speak to a director not a grunt"
"I need to take your name and at least an indication of what your problem is about before I pass you on"
"Are you denying me what I want. I'll sue you personally, and get you sacked in an instant you stupid call centre girl"
"I'm happy to pass you on Sir...but"
"No buts. No wonder you work in a call centre, did you even pass your GCSE's, get me a Director now"
"I can't pass you straight to a director but I can find someone who can help"

Shouted at me so nastily that I transfered him to my team leader and I never do that. He gave him main reception number.

Found out eventually that what he wanted was one of the things I deal with daily and if he'd not been such a bully I could have helped him, problem sorted, in about a minute flat.

Cunt.

Sorry.... its been on my mind all day.

[Proper Bo]

Are you supposed to tip doormen? I mean doorpeople (PC)


hmm i think doormen is okay.... i don't recall ever seeing a doorwoman.

Really? We have a few round here:unsure:

[deputysalty]

Holding the door for others is instinct.

[Mr JP Fugley]

:glag: I'm a bit sore from a conversation with a solicitor who phoned my work earlier today. Conversation went like this...

"Hello, My name is Fay, how can I help"
"I'm sueing you. I want to speak to a director"
"Ok sir, Can I have your name please."
"No. I want to speak to a director not a grunt"
"I need to take your name and at least an indication of what your problem is about before I pass you on"
"Are you denying me what I want. I'll sue you personally, and get you sacked in an instant you stupid call centre girl"
"I'm happy to pass you on Sir...but"
"No buts. No wonder you work in a call centre, did you even pass your GCSE's, get me a Director now"
"I can't pass you straight to a director but I can find someone who can help"

Shouted at me so nastily that I transfered him to my team leader and I never do that. He gave him main reception number.

Found out eventually that what he wanted was one of the things I deal with daily and if he'd not been such a bully I could have helped him, problem sorted, in about a minute flat.

Cunt.

Sorry.... its been on my mind all day.

He does have a point about the whole sticking in at school / call centre scenario but.

Maybe you could do a course in interpersonal skills, I don't think you need formal qualifications to get on one of those. Just a bit of common sense.

[mr. nails]

i'll hold the door open to all women except asians. asians are rude ppl.

[Chip Monk]

i'll hold the door open to all women except asians. asians are rude ppl.

As is everyone under 5'6'', anyone with green yes, the poor, followers of the mighty Zargon, transexualists, peope with more vowels than consonants in their name, the upper echelons of freemasonry, anyone on the minimum wage, Colt Seevers, that guy out of spinal tap who said his amp went up to 11, female cosmonauts, male astronauts and sheep worriers.

The above list is not intended to be exhaustive.

[DorisInsinuate]

i'll hold the door open to all women except asians. asians are rude ppl.
I was sure that's a joke, but he's from Texas.

[Barbarossa]

Sending your daughter to Brownies is sexist.

[Biggles]

Sending your daughter to Brownies is sexist.

We sent SGG to Rainbows (feeder for Brownies) but they said she would be happier doing something else (anything else) gits! we bought the tabbard and everything!

That aside I think JP displayed appropriate gentlemanly behaviour and was not sexist. I profer seats to the elderly and to mothers with infants. I tend not to bother if the young lady looks fit enough to leave me in a cloud of dust should we be paired for a race - on the grounds that I might be accused of being a sexualist and/or trying to get into her pants.

[Barbarossa]

If that situation ever arises, I guess you could always offer to let the young lady in question sit on your lap :naughty:

[ejitling]

If she's that young and fit I'd be careful... lest he ends up decked when she doesn't see the appeal of his lap....

[Mr JP Fugley]

Sending your daughter to Brownies is sexist.

No, that would be irresponsible. She's 8 ffs, she is taken there and collected.

[Barbarossa]

Fair point, adequately presented. :happy:

[mr. nails]

i'll hold the door open to all women except asians. asians are rude ppl.
I was sure that's a joke, but he's from Texas.

elaborate. that went over my head.

[CrabGirl]

@JP. Sod off. I did stay in school and I do have good interpersonal/customer service skills. Our call centre isn't like the big company ones. The phone is answered within two rings, and the people at the end of the phone treat customers like individuals. The staff are all bright and interested and mostly graduates or postgraduates. We've won awards for our approach to customer service and I'm quite proud of what I do.

The man I was refering to had no "I've been kept in a queue and been passed to pillar to post" normal callcentre experience to enrage him and there was absolutly no excuse to treat me the way he did. He was a bully, a cunt and an arse. Fact.

The kind of man who doesn't hold doors open for anyone, regardless of their sex, because he is too busy and important.

[Mr JP Fugley]

@JP. Sod off. I did stay in school and I do have good interpersonal/customer service skills. Our call centre isn't like the big company ones. The phone is answered within two rings, and the people at the end of the phone treat customers like individuals. The staff are all bright and interested and mostly graduates or postgraduates. We've won awards for our approach to customer service and I'm quite proud of what I do.

The man I was refering to had no "I've been kept in a queue and been passed to pillar to post" normal callcentre experience to enrage him and there was absolutly no excuse to treat me the way he did. He was a bully, a cunt and an arse. Fact.

The kind of man who doesn't hold doors open for anyone, regardless of their sex, because he is too busy and important.

So what had your company done to him to make the poor chap behave in such a manner.

[CrabGirl]

Nothing. He was complaining about wine he didn't like. If he'd calmed down I would have swapped it straight away.

[Mr JP Fugley]

Nothing. He was complaining about wine he didn't like. If he'd calmed down I would have swapped it straight away.

You should have said that.

[CrabGirl]

I would have done if he'd told me that's what he was calling about?

Wait a minute...was it you?

[Skweeky]

Can't believe you being so small minded JP.

I work in a call centre and I've got a degree.

I'm disappointed.
What makes you think everyone who works there is stupid and uneducated?


@ Crabgirl:

It's the time of the month. People always get crabbit around this time. I think it's because most people get paid at the end of the month and they're starting to run low on cash

[CrabGirl]

I think he's just trying be a wind-up merchant.

I don't see my job as a waste of my education. I do a good job for a good company and enjoy it for the most part.

[Skweeky]

I kinda like the fact that I don't have any stress in my life caused by my job. I have a laugh every day and everyone I work with is lovely.

Call centres rawk :D

[CrabGirl]

I kinda like the fact that I don't have any stress in my life caused by my job. I have a laugh every day and everyone I work with is lovely.

Call centres rawk :D

I totally agree. I've said it before but I'd rather work in a job like ours where I'm happy and relaxed than one which may be considered better but is more stressful. I've been there, done that and got the worry lines to proove it.

Call centre's rawk. Down with JP. :P

[gamer4eva]

I don't walk through a door before a woman, and I hold it open for everyone, even though I just get an annoyed grunt every time I do it.

For me i would hold it for maybe one or 2 women maybe elderely but if i think they can open the door on their own then i guess its not my place to be helping them....:huh:

[Mr JP Fugley]

So here's the sketch. We have two burds, both with degrees from some form of polytechnic. Sounds good so far.

Now we know they are both attractive lasses and have a fan-tastic personality. No lose situation, I think you'll agree. The World's your lobster.

So what kind of job do you get, what can it possiblt be.

Working in a call centre selling drink or ripping the pish out of the poor, giving them credit cards they can't afford. Which they will probly max out, buying drink from a call centre.

That's Thatcher's Britain for you.

[gamer4eva]

Ok....that is definately something to think about....especially ripping pish out of poor and the credit card thing...

[CrabGirl]

So here's the sketch. We have two burds, both with degrees from some form of polytechnic. Sounds good so far.

Now we know they are both attractive lasses and have a fan-tastic personality. No lose situation, I think you'll agree. The World's your lobster.

So what kind of job do you get, what can it possiblt be.

Working in a call centre selling drink or ripping the pish out of the poor, giving them credit cards they can't afford. Which they will probly max out, buying drink from a call centre.

That's Thatcher's Britain for you.

I have worked educating the young, helping the elderly, for several charities concerned with preserving the environment, been self-employed, written articals for magazines and the web about environmental issues and the work of my employer. I'll probably do other similar jobs in the future. Right now I'm regrouping after a bad work experience where I was bullied and lost a lot of confidence, and I'm enjoying myself doing so.

If I'm happy in my work, feel fulfilled and confident, and giving the people who call me a good experience over something that they want, then what's so bad about that?

[Mr JP Fugley]

So here's the sketch. We have two burds, both with degrees from some form of polytechnic. Sounds good so far.

Now we know they are both attractive lasses and have a fan-tastic personality. No lose situation, I think you'll agree. The World's your lobster.

So what kind of job do you get, what can it possiblt be.

Working in a call centre selling drink or ripping the pish out of the poor, giving them credit cards they can't afford. Which they will probly max out, buying drink from a call centre.

That's Thatcher's Britain for you.

I have worked educating the young, helping the elderly, for several charities concerned with preserving the environment, been self-employed, written articals for magazines and the web about environmental issues and the work of my employer. I'll probably do other similar jobs in the future. Right now I'm regrouping after a bad work experience where I was bullied and lost a lot of confidence, and I'm enjoying myself doing so.

If I'm happy in my work, feel fulfilled and confident, and giving the people who call me a good experience over something that they want, then what's so bad about that?
Sorry, I couldn't read past "written articals for magazines", what was the question again.

[CrabGirl]

I can't be arsed. I'm off to bed in preparation for tomorrows round of petty exploitation and abuse of the general public, whilst wasting the education that you paid for with your taxes.

[Mr JP Fugley]

I can't be arsed. I'm off to bed in preparation for tomorrows round of petty exploitation and abuse of the general public, whilst wasting the education that you paid for with your taxes.

You know it makes sence.

[Alien5]

Did you mean: sense

[DorisInsinuate]

I don't walk through a door before a woman, and I hold it open for everyone, even though I just get an annoyed grunt every time I do it.

For me i would hold it for maybe one or 2 women maybe elderely but if i think they can open the door on their own then i guess its not my place to be helping them....:huh:
How could two women no open the door on their own? If the elderly couldn't open the door themselves, how would they have left the house?

Think about it, it makes sence.

[missie]

The feminist movement is a bizarre thing to understand. :ermm:

I believe men should hold doors open for females, but I also believe I should hold doors open for the eldery or disabled. This isn't because I see these people as weaker than me, or they deserve better treatment than anyone else, but because it general politeness and they way I was brought up.

It's such a shame chivalry can be questioned in these ways.
It just shows what a mental world we are living in.

[Barbarossa]

I believe that you should hold the door open for anyone and everyone, no matter what sex, age, religion or creed.

Unless you're in a bad mood of course, in which case watching the door slam into someone's face gives you a peverse sense of self-satisfaction :sly:

[Skweeky]

So here's the sketch. We have two burds, both with degrees from some form of polytechnic. Sounds good so far.

Now we know they are both attractive lasses and have a fan-tastic personality. No lose situation, I think you'll agree. The World's your lobster.

So what kind of job do you get, what can it possiblt be.

Working in a call centre selling drink or ripping the pish out of the poor, giving them credit cards they can't afford. Which they will probly max out, buying drink from a call centre.

That's Thatcher's Britain for you.

I have worked educating the young, helping the elderly, for several charities concerned with preserving the environment, been self-employed, written articals for magazines and the web about environmental issues and the work of my employer. I'll probably do other similar jobs in the future. Right now I'm regrouping after a bad work experience where I was bullied and lost a lot of confidence, and I'm enjoying myself doing so.

If I'm happy in my work, feel fulfilled and confident, and giving the people who call me a good experience over something that they want, then what's so bad about that?


Snap

Only I didn't get bullied, I kept having panic attacks. Couldn't get out of the door at some point.
Work's been great about it. Paying for counselling, allowing me phased returns with full pay and, not to mention, giving me a trip to Vegas and paying for my wedding :lol:

I'm happy. :)

I might so something else in a year's time, I might not

So what's the problem?

[Mr JP Fugley]

I believe that you should hold the door open for anyone and everyone, no matter what sex, age, religion or creed.

Unless you're in a bad mood of course, in which case watching the door slam into someone's face gives you a peverse sense of self-satisfaction :sly:

There is an interesting calculation involving attractiveness and how far away the person needs to be from the door before you will stand holding it until they get there.

Obviously if it's a hawt blonde with big bewbs you will stand there for about an hour and a half as she walks towards you. Wee fat wummin, foot and a half.

[MagicNakor]

You should take into account age. Some of those old ladies can be vicious.

:shuriken:

[Skweeky]

Back on topic.

I usually feel uncomfortable when someone holds the door open for me, so usually I make sure I'm the first one in the door so I can hold it open for others.

[Mr JP Fugley]

Back on topic.

I usually feel uncomfortable when someone holds the door open for me, so usually I make sure I'm the first one in the door so I can hold it open for others.

What if a chap, middle aged, stood up on say a packed bus and said "Please, have this seat". Would you see that as chivalry or being patronising.

[CrabGirl]

Back on topic.

I usually feel uncomfortable when someone holds the door open for me, so usually I make sure I'm the first one in the door so I can hold it open for others.

What if a chap, middle aged, stood up on say a packed bus and said "Please, have this seat". Would you see that as chivalry or being patronising.

Chivalrous, unless he asked me "When's it due?", then I'd cry.

When I was on crutches just before xmas, I got a bus into work and no one let me have a seat, until a tiny decrepid lil old lady offered me hers. I didn't take it as god knows what would have happened to her if she was standing up when the bus went round a corner, so she poked a man sitting next to her and told him to stand up and let me sit down. He was mortified. I loved her like me own mother at that point.

[Mr JP Fugley]

What if a chap, middle aged, stood up on say a packed bus and said "Please, have this seat". Would you see that as chivalry or being patronising.

Chivalrous, unless he asked me "When's it due?", then I'd cry.

When I was on crutches just before xmas, I got a bus into work and no one let me have a seat, until a tiny decrepid lil old lady offered me hers. I didn't take it as god knows what would have happened to her if she was standing up when the bus went round a corner, so she poked a man sitting next to her and told him to stand up and let me sit down. He was mortified. I loved her like me own mother at that point.

Quality.

I think most people these days aren't consciously ill-mannered. They are just oblivious to other human beings. In days of yore people would be constantly monitoring what was going on around them and subconciously making decisions with regard to proper behaviour. In your crook leg situation every man within seeing distance would have stood up and offered you their seat. It's the way they were brought up. You would not have felt awkward about it because it was the norm.

Nowadays people are very much more insular. Rather than being sensitive to other people a barrier is put up to prevent that sort of stimulii from penetrating their egocentric universe. I'm on the bus, I have a seat, I'm listening to Dido on my iPod. Sorted, the World is a good place .... this morning. The fact that you are a temporary cripple is, quiet frankie, your business.

I don't see it as an improvement in the human condition. Maybe that's just me.

[CrabGirl]

I don't see it as an improvement in the human condition. Maybe that's just me.


It's not just you, I completely agree. I've lost count of the times I've held the door open for someone and had them just stride through and not say thanks, or even smile, and then had them followed by a stream of non-smiling striding people, so I stand there like a muppet resolving never to hold the door open for anyone again.

I will of course, because it's good manners and at least I am aware of that, and being aware and NOT doing it makes you worse than those who don't even consider it as they are caught up in their own self-important lives.

[Mr JP Fugley]

I don't see it as an improvement in the human condition. Maybe that's just me.


It's not just you, I completely agree. I've lost count of the times I've held the door open for someone and had them just stride through and not say thanks


I think you may be being a tad disingenuous there. Were you ever actually counting.

[Mr JP Fugley]

And also, when you say "the door" which door are you actually speaking of.

[CrabGirl]

Whatever door I happen to be holding at the time.

No I was never counting. It's a turn of phrase, not meant to be taken literally.

As you well know.

[Mr JP Fugley]

Whatever door I happen to be holding at the time.

No I was never counting. It's a turn of phrase, not meant to be taken literally.

As you well know.

So that would be "a door"

So how could you have lost count, that's just mad talk. The idea of it being a "turn of phrase" is one small jump above "you know what I meant". It does you no credit.

I'm not even going to mention the use of "well" in your last sentence. It is at best tautalogical and at worst trite.

[Proper Bo]

Whatever door I happen to be holding at the time.

No I was never counting. It's a turn of phrase, not meant to be taken literally.

As you well know.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lrJg8NMsFw

fixed.

edit: fuckpiss
edit2: re-fixed

[CrabGirl]

Oh fuck off.

Night. :happy:

[Mr JP Fugley]

Oh fuck off.

Night. :happy:

TTFN.

Hugs and kisses.

[CrabGirl]

:wub:

[gamer4eva]

That video is really funny....

[maebach]

I thought wimmins want to be treated equally and all that shite.

yea, what about that?

[Alien5]

I thought wimmins want to be treated equally and all that shite.

yea, what about that?

are you asking me?

[missie]

meh.

[ejitling]

meh.

What she said.

And fluffy kittens, obviously.

That would be fluffy kittens fucking off..... :lol:

[missie]

meh.

What she said.
And fluffy kittens, obviously.


At last, someone agree's.
Had to be Welshlord though. :no:

[Proper Bo]

What she said.
And fluffy kittens, obviously.


At last, someone agree's.
Had to be Welshlord though. :no:

:no:

[missie]

:rolleyes:

[Alien5]

:o

[manker]

Am I a Sexist.No, mate.

You're just a wee bit emo and looking for some external validation to confirm that you're a nice chap who did a nice thing.

Nothing wrong in that. Yer big pooflord.

[Alien5]

its not normal to hold doors open for women anymore,

If it was, then it wouldnt get any reaction at all. I bet they think something like this: thanks for holding the door, whats he after? :shifty:

[Chip Monk]

Am I a Sexist.No, mate.

You're just a wee bit emo and looking for some external validation to confirm that you're a nice chap who did a nice thing.

Nothing wrong in that. Yer big pooflord.

me = :transparent: :cry:

[Alien5]

who said that? :huh:

[missie]

I employed a new driver today, he's in his late 60's. When escorting him out of the building, he opened several doors and walked through them before me. I was carrying files n stuff about his crb checks also, so I was rather disgruntled. Don't quite know how he will get on as a volunteer.

I must admit, I was quite happy when he told me he had good reflexes, and was hit by a time delay door seconds after. :happy:

[DorisInsinuate]

Pfffft. Lollies.

[MCHeshPants420]

I avoid all door-related etiquette quandaries by always leaving buildings through a window.

[Mr JP Fugley]

Do you carry this window about with you.

[Snee]

I went to collect my Daughter from Brownies and there was a lot of wee lassies doing their Brownie promise, so the place was dead busy with parents and stuff. Loads of people not just doing the collecting thing but watching them doing their promises and us doing the clapping and supporting and stuff.

Anyway, I was there early to pick her up, because I always am. So I sits down to enjoy the festivities. Of course loads of folk start to turn up and I am like, there you go missus wummin, have a seat. She says thats OK and I'm like, no way get yerself sat down.

Anyhow, from what I can see I'm the only chap who does this. So I have to ask you younger dudes, have I in fact turned into a sexist without knowing. It's just the way I was brought up, manners and so forth.

I'm particularly interested in a burds perspective on this one.
Yes, you sexualist :dry:

[JPaul]

:cry:

[mikeco]

To not have behaved in such a manner would have been totally foreign to me. I couldn't have done anything else, whatever anyone else would have thought.

Two other absolutes for me. I could never walk thro' a door before a woman, I would always hold it open. I also couldn't walk on the inside of the pavement. When crossing the road I always make sure I am on the outside when we get to the other side.

To me both of these are unspoken, one simply does them in an almost unconscious way.

Perfect sense, btw.

not been sexist its just the same with old people.
u would offer to help carry stuff or so on i know i do well only to 1s i know incase they thort i was trying to mug them or something :mellow: hold doors nd stuff tho.

[bunny67]

i think there should be more men like you jp

[Hairbautt]

I avoid all door-related etiquette quandaries by always leaving buildings through a window.


Do you carry this window about with you.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v383/Hairbautt/Smilies/ROTFL.gif

I was raised the same way, btw. :naughty: Ladies.

But seriously...My mother, my sisters and then me. You learn a thing or two about manners. :dabs: