Help me, I'm turning into a housewife!

[Skweeky]

't is true ! :fear:

I've always hated cleaning, but I just cleaned the bedroom, the bathroom, the hallway, the stairs, and the livingroom (kitchen and garden are husbands territory(for cleaning at least)).

And I got a bit carried away.

I even hoovered the dust from between the floorboards:blink:


And I enjoyed it.


Can someone come over so we can get pissed. I'm scaring myself:cry:

[manker]

You'll have to give up work now.

There's no way a girlie can properly keep a house clean and hold down a full time job :no2:

[Mr. Mulder]

all is as it should be, nature is taking its course and stuff :)

[Skweeky]

Good point.

Well presented.

I shall inform my other half of my decision tonight

[Mr JP Fugley]

Sounds like nest building to me.

I hear the sound dadadada dadadada

Of tiny huns.

[Skweeky]

They shall not be tiny huns :angry:

They shall be tiny Club Brugge fans :D

BTW, the weather is gorgeous today. What a lovely day

[Mr JP Fugley]

That doesn't rime with distant drums tho'

[manker]

Sounds like nest building to me.

I hear the sound dadadada dadadada

Of tiny huns.
Do tiny huns sound like trumpets, then.

[Skweeky]

Well.... my big hun does tend to fart a lot

[manker]

Well.... my big hun does tend to fart a lot
:lol:

===

Maybe we missed JP's point. I'm thinking he was referencing a song or poem from the olden days :unsure:

[Mr JP Fugley]

If you think about it, if Gemboy loses one vowel you'll become a lesboid.

[Mr JP Fugley]

Well.... my big hun does tend to fart a lot
:lol:

===

Maybe we missed JP's point. I'm thinking he was referencing a song or poem from the olden days :unsure:

cawk

[Skweeky]

:huh:

I must be particulary thick today.
I don't get it


edit: the one about the vowel, not the one about the song

[Biggles]

:huh:

I must be particulary thick today.
I don't get it


edit: the one about the vowel, not the one about the song

Skweeks - you get test your mental agility on SGG's homework below :)

Then I can get her to complete this task :dry:

[Skweeky]

What homework?

Stop confusing me everyone

I just got my ears syringed. I think she may have removed some of my brain as well

[Biggles]

What homework?

Stop confusing me everyone

I just got my ears syringed. I think she may have removed some of my brain as well


That can be nasty - just bumped the homework thread. She has modified a piece and wants to go back to French so she can do her speaking test.

[Barbarossa]

ohhhhhhhhh

[manker]

Les, was JP referencing a song or a poem from the olden days.

I did ask him but he's in one of his difficult moods :dry:

[Biggles]

Gentleman Jim Reeves

[manker]

Thank you, kind sir.

I must have missed that one. Well, either that or my brain aids is playing up again.

[Biggles]

Thank you, kind sir.

I must have missed that one. Well, either that or my brain aids is playing up again.

A hit back in about 1964/65

[manker]

Thank you, kind sir.

I must have missed that one. Well, either that or my brain aids is playing up again.

A hit back in about 1964/65
:pinch:

In my head, I read your first reply as 'Gentleman Vic Reeves'.

Soooo ... I was thinking Shooting Stars or ... uh ... nevermind :pinch:

[Skweeky]

I've started on the tax return they sent back to us because information was missing.

I don't have a clue what they are on about.

Maybe they're looking for a bribe? :huh:

[Mr JP Fugley]

Get Les to look at it. You're doing WeeLes' homework like.

[Skweeky]

Good point.

Now where did he go???

[Biggles]

Can I just point out that any attempted bribe would be viewed with a small degree of displeasure by HM's Inland Revenue and likely to be followed by the income tax form from Hell. :ph34r:

[Mr JP Fugley]

Tax needn't be taxing.

Yes it need be, cunts.

[thewizeard]

...as a friend of mine said, "..women should be pregnant and bare foot in the kitchen".. :)

I think ..they should be out working, so their better halves can relax with a Jupiler and a packet of Drum, on the sofa ;)

[Skweeky]

I just don't get it

They sent us a form, which we filled in, then sent us the form back with a completely new form, saying they can't accept the original form because information is missing

WTF??

[thewizeard]

..did you fill it in in red ink?

[Skweeky]

No, in black ink, as requested

[Alien5]

I even hoovered the dust from between the floorboards:blink:
pics? :unsure:

[Biggles]

I just don't get it

They sent us a form, which we filled in, then sent us the form back with a completely new form, saying they can't accept the original form because information is missing

WTF??

Did they not indicate on the old form the missing information? Failing that, if you go through your original form and look at the bits you haven't completed check to see if they are relevant to you. It doesn't hurt to put Nil or N/A where appropriate. Also check the really obvious stuff. Are the asking for a marriage certificate for example?

[Skweeky]

Um no, they sent us a form title 'Tax return, page 1-10'

then sent that back together with a form titled 'Tax return. Self employment: Page SE1-SE4'

[Mr JP Fugley]

The N/A is a good idea.

The form probly says summit like "all boxes must be completed" in like really small writing.

They shouldn't be completed in small writing. The fact that they must be completed will be in small writing.

Maybe that's it. Was your writing really small.

[manker]

Marriage certificate :unsure:

I've never known the IR to ask for a marriage certificate.

[thewizeard]

I even hoovered the dust from between the floorboards:blink:
pics? :unsure:

You obviously must have run out of wiet

[Barbarossa]

Did you fill out the wrong form then :blink:

[manker]

Um no, they sent us a form title 'Tax return, page 1-10'

then sent that back together with a form titled 'Tax return. Self employment: Page SE1-SE4'
Self-employed, eh.

You'll defo need an accountant for that. Even if it's just to write a letter to them indicating that you weren't self-employed.

Can't be too careful when dealing with these civil servants :no:

[Mr JP Fugley]

It's coz Gem owns you now, under Scots law. Chattels have to fill in a different form to human beings.

[Skweeky]

I filled in the form they sent me

And the other one they sent back is too complicated to fill in.

I'll need to send it to our accountant.
Bah

[manker]

95% of private practice accountants would be out of business if 'Self Assessment' did what it said on the tin.

[Mr JP Fugley]

Just don't pay tax, works for me.

[manker]

Just don't pay tax, works for me.
Yeah but missus JP pays enough to clothe London's homeless.

[Skweeky]

scum of the earth

[Barbarossa]

To be fair, they're just ordinary people who are down on their luck a bit. :dabs:

They've probably been sold cheap credit cards over the phone, with a huge interest rate, and had to give up their houses because they couldn't make the repayments :(

[manker]

To be fair, they're just ordinary people who are down on their luck a bit. :dabs:

They've probably been sold cheap credit cards over the phone, with a huge interest rate, and had to give up their houses because they couldn't make the repayments :(
:lol:

[Mr JP Fugley]

:lol: :seconded:

[Skweeky]

:devil:

't was probably me selling them payment protection

[Mr JP Fugley]

:devil:

't was probably me selling them payment protection

That really is taking the pish.

"Now I've sold you the card you obviously won't be able to make the payments. So give us even more money so that someone else will pay them for you." You even try to convince them it's to protect them and not you.

How do you feckin' sleep.

[Skweeky]

Horlicks

[Biggles]

Marriage certificate :unsure:

I've never known the IR to ask for a marriage certificate.

Pretty sure they did when marriage actually conferred tax advantages.

If you are self employed then they will want t'other form completed - which is a bit of sod and you will need all your receipts, telephone bills etc., to claim operating costs.

Of course if you are not self employed then they are just taking the rip :shifty:

It is a while since I have looked at personal taxation - not a big part of the CIMA syllabus either although we did have a laugh at the mad fractions used for goods and chattels and the like :dabs:

[manker]

Marriage certificate :unsure:

I've never known the IR to ask for a marriage certificate.

Pretty sure they did when marriage actually conferred tax advantages.Will you and JP stop talking about the olden days!

MCA was stopped a fair while back - I don't recall it but people are forever asking me if I've claimed it for them :dry:

[Mr JP Fugley]

Back in the day we had purchase tax and stuff.

Stuff was Ok but purchase tax was a cunt.

[Biggles]

Back in the day we had purchase tax and stuff.

Stuff was Ok but purchase tax was a cunt.

Surprised they still haven't caught on to simplifying things and just introduce stuff tax

[Skweeky]

Was you a poll tax dodger as well?

[Mr JP Fugley]

Back in the day we had purchase tax and stuff.

Stuff was Ok but purchase tax was a cunt.

Surprised they still haven't caught on to simplifying things and just introduce stuff tax

Don't even joke about that.

[Mr JP Fugley]

Was you a poll tax dodger as well?

It was a political thing.

[Skweeky]

So you were?

[Alien5]

Ive got a pile of washing up for you to do when you've finished, cheers.

[Mr JP Fugley]

So you were?

My poll tax was all paid I'll have you know young lady.

[Skweeky]

Really?

Not even a wee demonstration against it.

No angry letter or anything??

[bruiser62]

Twist one, grab a beer, and switch on Opra and learn something (lol)

[thewizeard]

In the end, as long as you are happy what does it matter what one has to do to be with the one you love... ?

[S!X]

Help me, I'm turning into a housewife!

Don't you regret getting married now? :lol:

[Mr JP Fugley]

Really?

Not even a wee demonstration against it.

No angry letter or anything??

Well I did organise those riots, which was nice.

[Biggles]

Really?

Not even a wee demonstration against it.

No angry letter or anything??

Well I did organise those riots, which was nice.

Which led to the demise of Margaret Hilda T.

Which was very nice :)

[thewizeard]

I think he is refering to the recent street fights in Copenhagen..

[Gripper]

Distant Huns lyrics

Artist - Jim Reeves

Album - Distant Huns

Lyrics - Distant Huns


I hear the sound of distant huns
Far away, far away
And if they call for me to come
Then I must go and you must stay

So Skweeky marry me, let's not wait
Let's share all the time we can before it's too late
Love me now for now is all the time there may be
If you love me Skweeky, Skweeky marry me

I hear the sound of bugles blow
Far away, far away
And if they call, then I must go
Across the sea, so wild and grey.

So Skweeky marry me, let's not wait
For the distant huns might change our wedding date
And love me now, for now is all the time there may be
If you love me Skweeky, Skweeky marry me

[Skweeky]

But I'm already married :(

You should have asked me before

[thewizeard]

But I'm already married :(

You should have asked me before


They always say that ...never mind Gripper, you will just have to join the ranks of those waiting before you ...

Now Skweeky..we are all waiting patiently for the first baby Skweeks :)